Isabelle stood beside Tahsi and Sir Jingles in the blown open gates of the palace, staring out at the Cloud Reach horizon as the sun rose and the frost dragon Frimri was lowered to the ground by the force of what was undoubtedly the Overlord’s dragon-catching net.
“Hah!” said Stelas. “You’re all doomed! Doomed, I say! The Overlord is here now, and he is going to eviscerate the shit out of you idiots! Good luck, Isabelle, good fucking luck to you! You fucking idiot! You fucking weakling! You will all learn to kneel to the Overlord’s awful power, and I, Stelas Stelford, will be reunited with my body once the Overlord sees the hell and torment you lot have put me through. Yes, he will tell me that I have acted valiantly, that I have worked to annhilate your party’s confidence while serving my time as your prisoner, and he will bestow upon me great honors!”
Isabelle raised her left fist.
[Combat mode activated]
She punched the burlap sack containing Stelas’ head, which she was holding with her right hand, three times.
[345 damage dealt]
[285 damage dealt]
[361 damage dealt]
[Stamina 97%]
[Combat mode deactivated]
“Ow! That hurt! I’m still over encumbered, you know. Hurting me is just sadistic,” said Stelas.
“Asshole,” said Isabelle. She turned to Tahsi. “You know, Tahsi, back when you saved me from probable death?”
“What about it?” said Tahsi. His eyes darted around quickly, almost suspiciously.
“I was just going to say that I never thought that there would be dragons here. Well, I was going to say that, but then at first I kind of thought you yourself were a dragon. But then after I found out that you were a kobold, I really didn’t expect there to be dragons here. But then later when we first encountered the young red dragon I was really surprised that there actually were dragons here in Beaubinte. Which only became more surprising when you told me that there weren’t supposed to be dragons in Beaubinte. But then there was a dragon, and we slayed it. But then there was another dragon, and that dragon was a frost dragon, and apparently you’re in love with her or something, and now we’re about to fight the Overlord so that we can set her free. It’s just, well, surprising is all,” said Isabelle.
[Speechcraft attempt succeeded]
[Speechcraft increased to level 9]
[New speechcraft attempt learned: guilt]
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
Wait, had Isabelle been making a speechcraft attempt? She hadn’t really intended to.
[Clarification: You unintentionally/subconsciously made an attempt using a speechcraft attempt type that you had not technically learned as a result of your wis+int scores. As a result, you have improved your speechcraft and learned a new speechcraft type.]
That made enough sense to Isabelle. Still, how exactly had she been guilting Tahsi?
“Fine, Isabelle, I’ve got to admit something to you!” said Tahsi. “I didn’t save you out of the goodness of my heart!”
“You didn’t?” asked Isabelle.
“No! Fuck’s sake, if I had known what was happening I would’ve turned all the way around and walked the fuck away from you without a second glance! But I got this quest request rattling around in my mind to save you, and it was almost like I was compelled! Compelled, Isabelle! It’s like I’m stuck following you around. I swear, it’s like you reincarnated too close to me and I got added to your party before you even woke up, and since then all of my agency has been tied to you! It’s horrible! And almost every moment since I met you I’ve been asking every one of the gods I can think of just what I did to piss them off enough to do this to me!” Tahsi said. Before he could even take a breath, he equipped some bread and shoved it in his mouth. “And what’s worse is that, for some fucking reason, I think I actually really like you, Isabelle!” Tahsi swallowed his bite of bread. “As a friend, of course. Me and Frimri forever. Probably. I don’t know, I don’t know how dragons do relationships. Or parenthood. Oh, gods, what have I done to myself? I guess what I’m trying to say to you, Isabelle, is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for taking out my anger and fear on you. And I’m sorry that my stats are so much better than yours, I really don’t mean for them to be.”
Leave it to Tahsi to negate any goodwill he’d earned with that entire monologue in the last sentence. Isabelle glowered at him, thinking about his stats.
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
Oh, shit. Leveling up! Isabelle needed to think less about Tahsi’s stats and more about her own! She shrugged.
[Notice: You’ve reached level 22!]
[Notice: You have attribute and skill points to spend]
[Would you like to spend your points now?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
Isabelle wanted more hp. And stm. And mana. Fuck, how could she choose? Isabelle decided to give each attribute four points, then reassess.
Two points to spend. Isabelle decided to throw them both to her hp.
Isabelle knew that her str and int were going to be top priorities. Why? Well, str would directly improve her fighting ability. But int was special, because it had many times before allowed Isabelle to reason her way out of sticky situations that otherwise would’ve definitely destroyed her if she’d only relied on might alone. Wis was nice, but Isabelle didn’t feel like it really needed a boost right now. Maybe that was her wis score speaking for itself, she thought with a chuckle. Isabelle’s const probably could use a point or two, and of course her dx made sure she didn’t miss shots. Isabelle decided that str would get seven points. Int would get six. Dx would get one. Const, well, she had plenty of items that improved her const. Isabelle was happy with that choice.
“So, are we ready to go save Frimri yet?” asked Tahsi. “I’m getting nervous watching her lowering to the ground from the Overlord’s dragon net.”
“Not quite,” said Isabelle. “I want to use some of those spell tomes I found in that chest from the dragon.”
“Frimri, Isabelle, from Frimri! Have a little respect!” said Tahsi.
Isabelle rolled her eyes. “Actually, come to think of it, I can use my old spell tome, too. Really, the point is that I have some spell tomes I need to make use of, so I’d appreciate it if you’d remain patient, Tahsi. Learning new spells will only help me be more successful in fighting the Overlord. You do want me to succeed, don’t you?”
Tahsi sighed. “Yes, Isabelle, I want you to succeed.”
“Thanks,” said Isabelle. “Now, let me just look at all these awesome spell tomes I have.” Isabelle opened her inventory.
Okay, so the first thing Isabelle ought to do was train up one of her spells from the spell tome of minor destroying magic.
[Spell Tome of Minor Destroying Magic equipped]
[Would you like to learn a spell?] [Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Please select a spell]
Isabelle had been using her ‘shoot lightning’ spell a lot, so she thought ‘Choose Spell Shoot Lightning.’
[Improve Spell: Shoot Lightning?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Improving Spell Shoot Lightning]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[Spell Shoot Lightning Improved]
[You can improve Shoot Lightning 1 more time]
[You’ve already learned a spell today. Unequip ‘Spell Tome of Minor Destroying Magic’?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Spell Tome of Minor Destroying Magic unequipped]
Great. Now Isabelle just had... four more spell tomes to go! And who knew what spells she could find in these tomes.
[Spell Tome of Intermediate Destroying Magic equipped]
[Would you like to learn a spell?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Please select a spell]
Isabelle thought ‘Get Spells List.’
[Spells: Water Wave, Ring of Fire, Vasoconstriction, Poisoning Ray]
[Please select a spell]
Woah. Those all sounded so cool, and Isabelle could only pick one. She’d have to choose wisely. Isabelle thought ‘Learn More About Water Wave.’
Well, that sounded nice. But Isabelle needed to know all her options, so she thought ‘Learn More About Ring of Fire.’
That... also sounded nice. Isabelle thought ‘Learn More About Vasoconstriction.’
That was dark, but also seemed useful. Isabelle thought, ‘Learn More About Poisoning Ray.’
That was decent, but Isabelle didn’t really see herself using the poisoning ray in a way that made it important to learn right then. Same with the vasoconstriction spell. Really, it was down to the Ring of Fire and the Water Wave spells. Isabelle thought that the Ring of Fire spell would be most useful because it followed her around and protected her on all sides whereas the water wave sounded like a more directional attack. So, Isabelle thought, ‘Choose Spell Ring of Fire.’
[Learn Spell: Ring of Fire?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Learning Spell Ring of Fire]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[Spell Ring of Fire Learned]
[You’ve already learned a spell today. Unequip ‘Spell Tome of Intermediate Destroying Magic’?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Spell Tome of Intermediate Destroying Magic unequipped]
Well, now that she’d figured that out, it was on to the next spell tome.
[Spell Tome of Minor Enchanting Magic equipped]
[Would you like to learn a spell?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Please select a spell]
Isabelle thought ‘Get Spells List.’
[Spells: Lesser Electrocution Enchant, Lesser Frost Enchant, Lesser Fire Enchant]
Hmm. These seemed a little different than the destroy spells. Isabelle thought, ‘Learn More About Lesser Electrocution Enchant.’
Interesting. Isabelle thought, ‘Learn More About Lesser Frost Enchant.’
Oh. Isabelle was getting the idea here. She figured that lesser fire enchant probably did about the same, except with fire damage. So, picking an enchant to learn came down to deciding which kind of damage she’d like to be able to apply to her weapons. Isabelle decided that, since she seemed to get a lot of mileage out of frost magic, she’d choose that. So, Isabelle thought, ‘Choose Spell Lesser Electrocution Enchant.’
[Learn Spell: Lesser Electrocution Enchant?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Learning Spell Lesser Electrocution Enchant]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[Spell Lesser Electrocution Enchant Learned]
[You’ve already learned a spell today. Unequip ‘Spell Tome of Minor Enchanting Magic’?]
[Y/N]
Wait, Lesser Electrocution Enchant... Hadn't she meant to learn Lesser Frost Enchant instead? Oh well, it was too late now. Isabelle thought yes.
[Spell Tome of Minor Enchanting Magic unequipped]
Well, it was good to have that sorted, even if it felt a little boring compared to the destroy magic she’d learnt. After all, the ability to enchant weapons had to be useful. But before Isabelle looked into that, she was ready to check out the next spell tome.
[Spell Tome of Minor Healing Magic equipped]
[Would you like to learn a spell?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Please select a spell]
Isabelle thought ‘Get Spells List.’
[Spells: Quick Heal, Lesser Fortify, Heal Target]
Hmm. Those sounded interesting. Isabelle thought, ‘Learn More About Quick Heal.’
That was incredibly tempting. These other two spells would have to be real bangers for Isabelle to even consider them. Isabelle thought ‘Learn More About Lesser Fortify.’
Not bad, but still not as good as quick heal. Isabelle thought, ‘Learn More About Heal Target.’
That... was not too tempting. Maybe it would’ve been, if Isabelle’s party members were known for pulling their weight in fights, but Isabelle didn’t really feel like that was the case. Assured of her decision, Isabelle thought, ‘Choose Spell Quick Heal.’
[Learn Spell: Quick Heal?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Learning Spell Quick Heal]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[Spell Quick Heal Learned]
[You’ve already learned a spell today. Unequip ‘Spell Tome of Minor Healing Magic’?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Spell Tome of Minor Healing Magic unequipped]
Isabelle was happy to be about done learning all these spells. It was getting exhausting.
“Isabelle, are you just going to keep standing there staring into the sky while the Overlord captures Frimri?” asked Sir Jingles. “Not that I’m particularly dying to go rescue a dragon that nearly killed us or anything. And especially not that I’m dying to go fight the Overlord. And, along with that, not that I’m really planning on doing a whole lot of ‘fighting the Overlord,’ if we’re being honest, seeing as I’ve already used up my mega puma transformation for today, but—”
“Will you please shut the fuck up and let me focus?” said Isabelle. “I’m learning some new spells.”
“Oh,” Sir Jingles hung his head in shame. “Sorry.”
Isabelle was very, very glad she hadn’t wasted any time learning that stupid ‘heal target’ spell. Sir Jingles would probably be cowering the whole time instead of fighting and wouldn’t even take much damage, anyway. And Tahsi could always just stuff his face with some healing bread. Ready to get back to the task at hand, Isabelle focused on the last spell tome.
[Spell Tome of Minor Confusing Magic equipped]
[Would you like to learn a spell?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Please select a spell]
Isabelle thought ‘Get Spells List.’
[Spells: Lesser Confuse, Self Mirage, Minor Illusion]
Okay, all of these spells sounded pretty cool. Isabelle thought, ‘Learn More About Lesser Confuse.’
Isabelle wouldn’t even have considered learning the spell if Jingles had been able to use his mega puma transformation in the coming battle, but he wasn’t able, so she had to think about it. After all, confusion had helped them slay the young red dragon. Still, Isabelle needed to learn about the other spells. She thought, ‘Learn More About Self Mirage.'
That... sounded cool as hell. Seriously cool. Isabelle wanted to go ahead and learn it, but she figured she ought to do the other spell some justice and check it out too. She thought, ‘Learn More About Minor Illusion.’
Fuck’s sake. That sounded so cool, too. Isabelle could just picture her casting minor illusion on the overlord and making him totally lose his mind.
Shit. How could she choose?
“Having a crisis, there, Isabelle?” asked Tahsi. “And, if so, can I offer you some bread in this trying time?”
“No, thanks though,” said Isabelle. Then, she had an idea. “Tahsi, do you want to learn a spell?”
“Get out,” said Tahsi, spitting some bread on the ground. “Seriously? I’d fucking love to.”
Isabelle thought long and hard about which spell she’d offer up to Tahsi. Then again, it wasn’t like the spell tome would explode once he learned it. It occurred to Isabelle that giving Tahsi the ability to summon up mirages of himself would probably be very effective in a fight. Plus, it would allow him to participate in the fight some. Hell, she could give the spell tome to Sir Jingles and have him learn confusion, and then he could use confusion even without his mega
puma form! And then Isabelle herself could learn minor illusion and fuck with the Overlord’s head. It would be perfect.
If you really think you’re going to be able to fuck with the Overlord’s head, then you don’t know the half of it.
Isabelle shuddered at the awful, disturbing voice of a lady echoing through her mind. She felt nauseous.
[-1 hp]
Don’t you get it, player? How will you fuck with the Overlord’s head, if he’s going to fuck with yours?
[-2 hp]
Isabelle fell to her knees and vomited over the ground. After her stomach was empty, she dry heaved for a few moments before falling back on her back and taking deep, labored breaths. Isabelle felt every nerve in her body itching.
[-3 hp]
[-5 hp]
Consider this a warning. Stay the fuck away from the Overlord.
And suddenly, it was over. The voice was gone. Isabelle laid on the ground, gasping for air.
