By the time I finished sorting through my notifications, the vampiric Cullens family had started playing supernatural baseball for reasons I couldn’t quite seem to understand. I watched for a moment as some douchey dude bro in a tracksuit scampered up a tree like a spider monkey, before snagging the baseball from the air with his bare hand. What the fuck even is this movie? I thought before shaking my head and turning my attention to the new haul of Relics.
There were eleven in total, five from the dead Kannibal Kids and another six from the HOA Kaiju. That didn’t seem like a lot, considering how much death and destruction we’d orchestrated, but sometimes it was less about quantity and more about quality.
At least, that was my hope.
There were several duplicates, which was a little disappointing, but not unexpected. Dwellers of the same kind often had similar Relics. I got a pair of Uncommons called Butcher’s Maw, which drastically increased Athleticism and Toughness, while simultaneously jacking up Health Regen. Like so many of the Relics from the twenty-fourth floor, however, there were some truly terrible side effects. In this case, equipping Butcher’s Maw also made you insane with perpetual hunger. A hunger that could only be satiated through acts of violent cannibalism.
There were also two Rare-grade passives, called Apex Ascension, which transformed the user into a monstrous wendigo-like creature in the light of the moon. The physical transformation doubled the user’s base Athleticism, Toughness, and Perception, and tripled their total Health Pool and Health Regeneration Rate, while also granting an extra five levels. It offered a whole lot of power in one very small package. The real drawback was that the metamorphosis also added an ongoing Affliction called Sundowning that resulted in extreme rage, severe mood swings, and temporary amnesia.
Under the effects of the Affliction, the user essentially became rabid and were just as likely to maul their friends as their enemies. Still, the Relic had potential, especially considering the last Relic Ed had recovered from the Kannibal Kids.
Night Light was one of the few Relics without any obvious side effects and was clearly designed to pair with Apex Ascension. When equipped, it allowed the user to summon a tiny, fist-sized moon that floated in the air, lighting up darkened spaces for ten minutes. When active, the moon’s light also had a twenty-five percent chance to reveal invisible enemies or dispel illusions. As a utility skill, it was both reliable and effective—plus, I’d bet dollars to donuts that it also triggered the Apex Ascension ability.
For the time being, I planned to hang onto all three Relics, though I wasn’t sure what I’d do with them in the long run.
Next were the six Relics from the HOA itself, which were exactly as powerful as I imagined they’d be.
First up was a massively upgraded version of the Charbroiled Inferno Relic, appropriately named the Crematorium Incinerator. It was the same flamethrower attack the kaiju had used against me during our brawl. When activated, it unleashed a column of fire, three feet in diameter, that burned at 1600 degrees Fahrenheit—hot enough to turn a human body into a pile of ash. It dealt a shitload of damage on contact and added a Burn Affliction on the backend for decent DPS.
It was almost as dangerous as Hydro Fracking Blast—though, pound for pound, my current ability was still better. Although Crematorium Incinerator had higher initial burst damage, it didn’t have any kind of cumulative stacking effect that came close to Scorching Erosion. The range on Incinerator was also dogshit. Sure, the column of flame was a girthy son of a bitch, but it only had a range of five meters, which meant I’d need to be close up to use it.
Aside from Crematorium Incinerator, the rest of the HOA’s Relics all seemed to focus on controlling minions or enthralling others in one way or another, which made sense given the nature of the twenty-fourth floor.
The next two Relics were both aura abilities.
The first, Will of Iron, was a Rare-grade passive that granted the user absolute control over all summoned minions or enthralled creatures, regardless of any Afflictions or Debuffs that might otherwise interfere. It also granted them resistance, equal to the caster’s, from mental and psionic attacks and abilities, which explained why all the Sunnysiders had been immune to things like Existential Dread—because their minds were collectively linked to the HOA. I could see how a Relic like that would be extremely valuable when paired with something like Swarm Tactics, which generated the Rage status as more minions were summoned.
The second was an active “territorial control” aura called Eminent Domain, which could either amplify the effectiveness of all friendly auras or suppress the effectiveness of enemy auras. Basically, it was a combination battery/Mana suppressor that the HOA had likely used to extend the reach and strength of its Iron Will aura. It was good on its own, but when combined with Hazardous Chemical Slick, Tesla Field, and my Sterilization Field aura, it turned into a potential monster.
Echoed Aura
Fabled Relic (Fully Tempered) – Level 6
Range: Line of sight
Area of Effect: 15' Radius, Centered on Caster
Cost: 50 Mana (Base)*
Cast time: Instant
Effect Duration: 15 Minutes
Echoed Aura embodies the motto “Sharing is Caring.” On its own, it doesn’t do jack shit, but when activated, it temporarily transforms the effects of another equipped Relic in your Spatial Core into a projected aura. Depending on your modality, the aura can either help your friends or metaphorically fuck your enemies. Unless, of course, you have the fabled Green Weenie Relic—then it will literally fuck your enemies.
Group Love Mode
Activate Group Love Mode, and the positive effects of a single equipped Relic expand outward from you in a fifteen-foot radius, spreading similar beneficial buffs to you and all your allies within range. Keep in mind, the better your paired Relic, the more impressive the glow up.
Group Punishment Mode
Feeling less charitable and more like a petty, vindictive bitch? Flip the switch to Group Punishment Mode, and the negative effects of a single equipped Relic ripple out in a fifteen-foot radius, hammering every enemy in range with similar misery. Again, the quality of your paired Relic determines the scale of destruction—so make sure to bring your A game if you want to leave a lasting impression.
Note: You can only have one Aura active at a time.
*The casting cost of the paired Relic gets tacked onto the total cost for Echoed Aura.
This Relic enables Mana usage.
On the surface, Echoed Aura was incredible. It was Fabled grade and it offered unparalleled versatility—at least in theory. With one single Relic, I could essentially have an entire arsenal of powerful Auras that could help my friends or hurt my enemies. There were really only two potential problems.
The first was the cost. Fifty Mana was already an extremely expensive spell, but in order to activate the Aura, I needed to simultaneously trigger a paired Relic. In some cases, that meant increasing the total cost by anywhere from twenty-five to fifty extra points of Mana. The thought of spending two-thirds of my Mana Pool on a single spell left me feeling a little queasy.
The other issue was that the Echoed Aura description was rather vague and nebulous. Although it spelled out the basic mechanics, it didn’t really tell me a whole lot about how the Relic worked in practice. Hydro Fracking Blast, for example, was a purely offensive spell without any effect that could even remotely be classified as beneficial. Hell, most of my Relics fell into that category. Fault Spike, Existential Dread, StainSlayer Maelstrom—all were high-powered offensive spells.
Did that mean that the Group Love Mode just wouldn’t work at all with purely offensive skills? Honestly, that was a possibility I could live with, considering how good Echoed Aura could be, but what about support and utility abilities like Unhinged Taxidermy or Runic Resonance Trap? Those were great Relics, but were purely neutral and didn’t really have any direct positive or negative benefits. How would Echoed Aura convert either of those into an aura?
My biggest fear was that I’d forge this Relic, only to end up with something that was borderline useless, and which could only be paired with a handful of Relics.
Still, the potential upsides far outweighed the risks, and in my experience, Fabled-grade Relics tended to live up to the hype. After weighing the options for a few minutes longer, I finally threw caution to the wind and pulled the trigger. I winced at the bright glow that enveloped the room as the items melted together. The newly forged Relic resembled an antique phonograph, with a boxy wooden base and a large brass horn, connected to a circular turntable. A gilded hand crank jutted out from one side.
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
Croc looked up at me, clearly surprised by the sudden glow. “Everything okay, Dan?” the dog asked.
“Yeah, nothing you need to worry about,” I said, patting the mimic reassuringly on the back. “Just playing around with some new Relics.”
“Good,” the dog replied, settling its head back down. “Because we’re almost at the best part—Bella’s about to confront James in the ballet studio! I’m on the edge of my seat.”
Croc focused on the movie again, while I turned my attention back to the Relics. Although I really wanted to experiment with the new Relic to see what it was capable of, there wasn’t much I could do until the crippling side effects of the YOLO potion wore off, so that would just have to wait for tomorrow.
The next two Relics were both extremely powerful and seemed designed to work in tandem with one another, just like Apex Ascension and Night Light.
Nexus SporeFeed Social Filter (Blighted)
Fabled Relic – Level 1
Range: Variable
Cost: 200 Mana
Duration: Ongoing Effect
Welcome to the nightmare factory, where your dreams become everyone else’s reality! And is that so bad? It’s not like reality was all that great to begin with. Drought and endless famines. War crimes and massive wealth inequality. Not to mention that zit on your nose or the twenty extra pounds you put on over the holidays. The SporeFeed Social Filter lets you fix all of that—or, at least, gloss over it—by conjuring a massive reality-warping illusion capable of blanketing up to one square mile per Relic level.
You have the power to forge a paradise, made in your own image. Want to create a utopia of perfectly manicured lawns and endless cookie-cutter houses? Go for it. Build a towering skyscraper made entirely of screaming clowns? The sky’s the limit! The only catch is that you have to be asleep to use this Relic. Once you wake up, the dream collapses in on itself like a cheap folding chair, and the real world comes barreling back in like an angry circus chimp. But who cares? That’s a problem for other people. Dream big, then let everyone else deal with it!
This Relic enables Mana usage.
Warning! The Relic has been corrupted by Blight. Equipping it risks Spatial Core Infection, which is exactly as horrifying as it sounds. Visit one of the Researcher Floors to purge it—assuming you can survive long enough to get there.
The Social Filter was undeniably powerful. Probably too powerful.
Staring at the thing, I vividly recalled the conversation I’d had with the Director.
I’d accused her of using excessive force after turning a bunch of people into meat cubes, and she’d countered by saying the only reason I hadn’t done the same was because I lacked the ability. At the time, I’d thought maybe she was right. But now? As I turned the strange Relic over in my hands, I knew she’d been dead wrong about me. I wanted to live. Wanted to survive. Wanted to escape this hellhole. Wanted to protect myself, my friends, and the community of people who’d come to depend on me, but now I knew I had limits.
As far as I was concerned, no one deserved to have the kind of influence that the SporeFeed Social Filter offered.
Not even me.
Screwing around with people’s heads… Robbing them of autonomy and freewill. There was just something deeply unsettling about it. I’d hang onto it, though, since it practically had existential threat written all over it in big bold letters. Plus, I wanted to study it. This was the first Relic I’d ever seen with the Blighted condition. Maybe there was a way Jakob could use it to learn more about the Blight and what we might face below.
I set the Social Filter aside and picked up a Fabled-grade called Sleepwalker, which looked like a used CPAP machine.
On the surface it was a rather simple conditional skill that automatically triggered when the user fell asleep or was rendered unconscious. When that happened, the user’s physical body would enter an autonomous state, instinctively dodging, parrying, attacking, or even activating Relic abilities—though with reduced precision and general effectiveness. It was basically autopilot mode. While under the effects of the ability, my body would become a human automaton, following a set of rudimentary orders.
It was a perfect match for a skill like Nexus SporeFeed Social Filter, which required the caster to be asleep. It would also allow me to utilize the Collective Consciousness Relic I’d looted off the Shart Stain Golem.
The only drawback was that using it in lieu of regular sleep resulted in a lingering Affliction called Sleep Deprived, which made you feel generally exhausted and also slowed Health, Stamina, and Mana Regeneration by 20%. But that was easy enough to avoid, since the effect could be manually toggled on or off at will. As far as I was concerned, Sleepwalker was a clutch survival skill that would come in handy in a shitload of different situations—like, for example, after using a wildly unsafe potion that knocked you unconscious for twenty minutes right in the middle of a blood-soaked battlefield.
The last Relic was arguably the weakest of the lot, but it was also the one I was most excited about. Corporate Meat Grinder was a significantly upgraded version of Health Eater and allowed the user to consume summoned minions or enthralled creatures, restoring their own HP while also temporarily increasing their total Health Regen rate. Without a doubt, this was the ability the HOA had used to keep its life topped off.
For obvious reasons, I would never actually use the Relic the way it was intended to be used. Thankfully, it happened to strongly resonate with several other Relics I already had, including Apex Ascension, Iron Jaw, Whiskey Fists, and one of my most powerful active abilities—Unhinged Taxidermist. Even exhausted as I was, I felt a strong thrum of excitement as I ran a Compatibility Analysis to see what the final result would be.
Eldritch Taxidermist
Fabled Relic (Fully Tempered) – Level 3
Cost: 50 Mana
Cast time: 10 Minutes
Material Components: 1 x Corpse, 2 x Relic (Common Grade or Better), Mechaniks
What is life? What is death? What happens when you duct-tape the two together and set them on fire with a flamethrower? Eldritch Taxidermist lets you find out by using the power of VRD Necro-Science to mash together corpses and whatever random appliances you happen to have lying around. Your newly upgraded monstrosities are better, stronger, faster. Like the Six Million Dollar man, except with more necrophilia. Or is it necromancy?
Whatever. The point is, I really hope you love being around dead things, because you’re gonna be swimming in corpses.
Your newly upgraded abominations are also smarter than your average undead meat-puppet and will react more intuitively in combat. And, best of all, they even possess a rudimentary Spatial Core, granting them one dedicated Relic Slot—meaning they can wield and activate a single Relic at will. Yes, that means you can give your reanimated werewolf a magical, chest-mounted plasma cannon. No, there are no laws against this.
Not yet anyway.
You may create up to 5 Taxidermied Horrors for every Relic Level. Once forged, your minions can be summoned or banished to an extra-dimensional subspace container at will. If destroyed, vanquished minions will be instantly returned to their subspace container, and once repaired, they can be redeployed. Each Horror’s stats and capabilities will vary wildly based on the quality of components used. This Relic enables Mana usage.
VRD – When people ask, “Why create this unspeakable monstrosity?” our answer is simple: Because we can!
Even though I felt like a bag of dried dog turds, I found myself grinning from ear to ear.
My Horrors had already proven to be extraordinarily powerful allies in combat, and with this upgrade, I’d be able to transform them into true war machines. I could already envision a turbo-charged Drumbo stomping around the battlefield, spewing a column of fire at anything that moved. Unlike with Echoed Aura, I didn’t hesitate even for a moment before hitting Yes and forging the Relics into one.
The real surprise came a moment later, though, when I saw another notice blink into view.
Resonant Mana Signature Detected!
Would you like to Forge Eldritch Taxidermist (Fabled, Fully Tempered – Level 3), Sleepwalker (Fabled – Level 1), Will of Iron (Rare – Level 1), Form FleshTron, Go! (Rare – Level 1), Collective Consciousness (Rare – Level 1), Swarm Tactics (Rare – Level 1), and Voodoo Dopplebanger (Rare – Level 1) into a new Emblem?*
Yes/No?
My heart raced and I felt a surge of exhilaration at the possibilities.
Still, as excited as I was, I didn’t want to get my hopes up prematurely. There was every chance this would turn out to be a dud, just like last time. I crossed my fingers, held my breath, then ran a Compatibility Analysis, just to see what I was working with. A few seconds later, I got my result.
Researcher’s Codex Compatibility Analysis
WARNING! UNDERPOWERED EMBLEM CONFIGURATION DETECTED!
Based on historic data sets and extensive Forging models, the Codex Analytics Model predicts that attempting to combine the designated Relics into a unifying Emblem has a 93% chance of success, meaning the number of possible Emblem Iterations is Extremely Low. The most probable outcome is Tome of the Swarm Herald (Fabled Emblem) or a closely adjacent derivative. To significantly increase the power of this Emblem, consider utilizing fully leveled Relics before forging. Would you like to proceed?
Yes/No?
I exhaled, feeling more than a little shaky, then begrudgingly hit “No.” It killed me a little inside to do it, but the Relics were just too weak to move forward, which sucked donkey dick. Still, they were a match. A bona fide match. All I needed to do now was push all of ’em up to level 15, and then I’d have a shiny new Emblem. Tome of the Swarm Herald sounded like a summoner-based class if I’d ever heard one, and though summoner wouldn’t be my first choice if this were a game, it would allow me to build my own personal army. And that’s exactly what I needed.
Even with the new Emblem, I still wouldn’t be strong enough to go toe-to-toe with the Monarch. But the Franchisor? Well, that son of a bitch’s days were numbered.
That was a problem for tomorrow, though.
Tonight, the mission could wait. My plans could wait. The endless cycle of violence, survival, and clawing my way toward something resembling a future—yeah, all of that could wait. Because for one night, I wasn’t a fighter. I wasn’t prey or predator. I was just a guy, drinking a beer, watching a terrible movie with his best friend.
“Aw, you gotta see this, Dan,” Croc said, tail waggling excitedly. “Edward’s about to save Bella and then tear James limb from limb. That’s one of my favorite parts in the book.”
“You got it, bud,” I replied, sinking deeper into the couch and taking another sip of my beer. My life had gotten a whole lot weirder since No-clipping, but weird wasn’t always bad.
There was a damned good chance I’d die tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, then the day after that, or the one after that. I didn’t care. Instead of worrying about what might be, I snuggled up against Croc’s rubbery side and let my eyes slip shut as a dreamy, spiky-haired Robert Pattinson tore the arms off a sparkly vampire.
True, this place was a feral hellscape filled with a carnival of never-ending nightmares, but right now there wasn’t anywhere else I wanted to be.
THE END OF DISCOUNT DAN – BOOK 2
