Chapter 39

  Nereida napped fitfully, and awoke in time for supper bell. She headed to the deck once she dressed, simple clothing. She tried to do her hair into braids, even small ones, but the cut was uneven and too short for her to do anything with. She dug into her things, finding a light shawl and wrapping it around her head, pinning it in pce. It would have to do. She stared at her reflection, seeing bags under her eyes. She was exhausted, but she wanted to be out in the air, to feel the sea breeze on her face.

  The deck was lively with activity. Most folks seemed in a good mood. The two newcomers were leaning against the main mast, whispering to each other. They stopped and stared at her, worry and fear on their wind-weathered faces. Both of them were older, into their fifties given how grey their hair was. They wore the same uniforms as Ael, though with fewer marks of rank. Nereida considered introducing herself, but they drew closer to each other and she decided it was probably best left for another time.

  “The sleeping Princess awakens!” Evander’s jolly voice rang out. Both the strangers looked up at her in surprise and started whispering in earnest. Nereida looked over at Evander, trying not to be annoyed with him.

  “Evander,” she replied with a tight smile. “Is the Admiral around?”

  “She’s with your children, making sure they take their supper and actually get rest.” He ughed. “Ya’ll gave me a fright today. Y’okay?”

  “Not really,” she admitted softly. “Did we lose anyone?”

  “Naw, we’re up two. And these ones I vetted.”

  “Good. Then it was worth it. Filthy demons.” He ughed.

  “One day we’ll get ya dropping a real swear.” His smile went tight, as he took in her appearance. “Did they hurt ya?”

  She shook her head, breathing deeply.

  “They just went after my dignity and then my life. They took neither.” She straightened her shoulders. “I am still me, my hair will grow back.” She dropped her voice low. “My hair is a mess, though. I don’t want to misstep, Evander. Can I ask her to trim it without it being a thing ?” He chuckled softly.

  “No, if she cuts it, that’s…” he stopped, chewing his lip. “Y‘aint goin‘ to like it.”

  “Tell me.”

  The first mate breathed out a heavy sigh, rubbing his hands together as he took a minute to compose his words.

  “If she cuts yer hair, Princess, she’s cimin’ she owns you.” He flinched back as if she might strike him. She wasn’t angry, however, just tired. These customs were exhausting.

  “But… hair maintenance requires trims,” she said after a long moment. “How is that done?”

  “Mostly by oneself,” he said after thinking. He was scratching at his stubble. “But I expect, like anythin’ else, the higher ups have servants do it.” She nodded. She had no servants. Not anymore. But she also couldn’t cut her own hair.

  “If I had my brother do it?” But he shook his head.

  “Then yer sayin’ that … that yer a child. Can’t be trusted with yer own tasks.” She wanted to scream. It was just hair. But it wasn’t, not to Ael, not to the crew. It was rank and power. It was the mark that she had been taken. Wait…

  “Admiral Matthias had a first mate with a shaved head. A female first mate. How…?”

  “Oh, Matthias is an odd duck, like our Admiral. He don’t care where you were born or what your family line is, just that ye wanna be on his ship, in his crew. I’ve met her, Spikey Griz. She’d die for him but only after she’d killed ten men.” He ughed a little. “You can’t pull off her attitude, Princess. You care too much what people think. I’ve seen you checkin’ out the two new ones four times since we started talkin’.” She felt heat creep up her face. “And yer still human lookin’, so I know yer maskin’ for their sake.”

  She stared at the man a long moment before she let out a long, low sigh.

  “What if I asked you to do it?” She finally asked, raking in her courage. He smiled fondly.

  “I’d do it for ye.”

  “But what would it mean?”

  “Technically, if ye ordered me, that I was beneath ye.“ He shrugged. “I can pretend ye pced the order to satisfy the outsiders. I am about as safe a choice as ye got. Me, or Dymion; me hubby’s a gnome and held to different standards.”

  “I think I’d rather you… I’m not sure if he hates me after….” She trailed off, her eyes filling with tears.

  “Oh, Princess, he don’t hate you. He wouldn’t of helped if he didn’t think ye were doin’ something right. He… he is very very fond of Epelda. And he helped with the others. I think he knew what you were on about.” He fidgeted a moment, before stepping forward. “Let’s get you into the cabin, eh?”

  Once inside the cabin, Nereida sank into a chair and let the tears fall. Evander quietly shut the door, before he began rummaging in his pockets for a handkerchief. Tenderly he wiped at her face.

  “Admiral’s going to be up soon, so if ye want this done, ye best let me help.” He looked around the cabin, grinning at the mess around the two cots in the corner; toys that never quite seemed to find their basket, discarded undry piled at the foot of each bed. “Ye got scissors?”

  “In my sewing kit; a rolled up bit of leather tied up tight, over there.” She motioned to a pile of her own things left haphazardly on a small side table.

  “Your kidlets take after you I see.” He chuckled.

  Nereida carefully unwrapped her head, holding the hair pins tightly so they would not fall. She heard Evander struggle not to react, his feet shuffling and his quick intake of breath revealing his true feelings. She felt heat rise in her cheeks. If Evander thought it was bad, what must Ael think? He got to work, quietly trimming her hair. Little pieces fell, the hair that was cut turning blue as it drifted to the floor. He used a comb, making everything as straight as possible. When he was done, he held up a small pocket mirror for her to look through so she could see her reflection in the rger stand mirror that Ael kept.

  Her hair was shorter still, but finally even at the back and sides. He had done a wonderful job. She turned to hug him. He squeaked indignantly.

  “Touchy feely princess,” he muttered, but he sounded happy nonetheless. He squeezed her shoulder tightly. “I’ll leave you to it,” he bowed his head a little, a smirk pying on his face. “Don’t want the Admiral gettin’ all jealous.” He winked at her and strolled out, pausing at the door. “Maybe you stop maskin’ for the comfort of strangers. If they wanna be crew, they will accept ya.” He closed the door softly and was gone. Nereida smiled softly, sitting to remove the anklet and slipping it into the small pouch sewn into her dress. Then, not wanting her children or Ael to come back to bits of her hair everywhere, Nereida went digging in Ael’s closet for a broom.

  Just sweeping the cabin left Nereida winded. She had used too much magic tely, and she had not had enough rest. She considered climbing back beneath the sheets to sleep, but did not want the children to come home to her still sleeping.

  The thought startled her. Home. She looked around the messy cabin, a small sigh escaping her. It was home, as much as the farmstead had been. She wondered how her neighbours fared with her animals. She did not miss work, the endless chores, the worry that her animals would get sick and die before she could sell them. She did miss watching her boys chase each other through the fields, pnting alongside them as they coiled their hands in dirt. Here they couldn’t run, at least not as freely. She wondered if they felt it was home too, or if they missed the farm.

  Two squeals of delight brought her out of her head. She looked up in time to see her boys come flying across the room, arms outstretched. She pulled them into tight hugs. Breathing in, holding her boys, she felt grounded. This was what mattered. Not her hair, not what others thought of her hair. Her boys were safe.

  “You look pretty mommy,” Egaz said with a smile. “Can I touch your new hair?” Nereida knelt down and let the boys touch her hair. Alejo kissed her cheek.

  “They are staying in my cabin tonight,” Basiano said, hovering at the doorway. He was leaning back against the frame as if he hadn’t a care in the world, but she saw his worry in the wrinkles near his eyes. Nereida kissed both her babies.

  Carefully, Nereida moved over to her brother, avoiding little feet as she did so. The boys trailed after her. She wrapped her arms around her brother’s middle, not quite able to fully close the embrace.

  “I’m going to be alright,” she promised. She buried her face in his chest, feeling his heat as he pulled her and the boys into a tight hug. She felt her worries melt away.

  “I’m sure short hair will be all the rage in court,” he said softly, his voice gruff. “But could you please stop letting bdes get close to your skin? One of these days, Lady Luck will turn away from you.”

  “I will try,” she managed. He kissed her head.

  “Love you, idiot,” he whispered into her hair.

  “Love you, big lug.”

  “Mommy, be nice! Those are mean words,” Alejo lectured from her side. “You too Uncle Bassi!!” Nereida giggled and kissed each of her boys again.

  “You’re right, love: we shouldn’t talk to the ones we love like that.”

  She told her boys a story, before Basiano gathered them up and brought them back to his cabin. Both boys were excited to “sleep over” as if it wasn’t the same pce they had slept for two weeks. Ael came home as the boys were leaving. She paused to hug Egaz, who practically bowled her over when she opened her arms. Alejo looked at her, a stubborn, mulish expression. She didn’t express disappointment, but offered a hand instead.

  “A goodnight handshake?” Ael offered, not moving toward him. He crocked his head to the side, considering, before he nodded and pced his little hand in hers. Ael’s smile was beautifully radiant, and Nereida felt her heart melting. Alejo grinned back, his gap-tooth grin adorable, before he sprinted out after his brother and uncle.

  And then they were alone again. The door closed, shutting out the conversations beyond. The only sound was the gentle waves pping against the ship. Ael took a step toward her, holding out her hand.

  “Am I forgiven?” Ael asked softly. She looked down, not meeting Nereida’s eyes. “The st thing we almost did was fight.” Nereida moved a hand to her beloved’s cheek. Ael leaned into the touch, closing her eyes.

  “I love you,” Nereida said, pouring her heart into her words. “And I want to build a life with you. But I will always put my children first.” Ael nodded, her eyes still closed as if she were warding off what was to come. Nereida dropped her voice to just above a whisper. “I forgot, however, that my children also have desires and wants. And I know Epelda wants to be here, be part of your crew. So, while I was angry, hurt, because I felt like you didn’t want me around… and angry that you were letting her be in danger.” She sighed and pced a kiss on Ael’s forehead. “And you have every right to be angry at me for my tone. I questioned you in front of the crew, and that cannot stand.”

  Ael looked up at her, finally meeting her eyes. Ael’s grey eyes shone like the moon.

  “I won’t ever forbid you from your magic again,” she whispered. “I just ask, as your lover, not your admiral, that you think before you unleash it.”

  “I will,” she promised, kissing Ael deeply. Deep contentment settled in her chest. Things were finally looking up.