Chapter 23:

  Back in her own clothing, Nereida felt much more at ease. She reached for her bracelet, but Ael pced her hand on top of hers.

  “You don’t need to hide who you are any more, love,” she said softly. “Everyone knows, and you should be allowed to feel at home in your own skin.” Tears pricked at her eyes. No one had ever told her that; her mother had hidden her, her brothers had shielded her, but none of them had ever said not to hide. She closed her hand around the bracelet anyway.

  “The boys don’t know.” Her voice cracked on her words. Ael stared at her in utter shock, and what may have been disappointment. Nereida felt the muscles in her back tense. “Children can’t keep secrets,” she defended sharply. “And we were in enemy territory!”

  “Enemy? Weren’t you in Seliniakos?” Nereida pressed her mouth into a thin line, clenching her fists.

  “A little boy told my son that sirens should be gutted like fish.” Her words were sharp and cold. Ael looked as if she had been spped. “If it hadn’t been me, if you’d captured a siren, would you have killed them?” Ael’s mouth opened and closed.

  “Love, it’s different.”

  “How?” The word exploded out of Nereida, her heart breaking as she smmed her hand on to the desk. Ael moved to take her hand but Nereida pulled away, turning from the Admiral. She closed her eyes, unwilling to see hurt or betrayal.

  There was quiet for a moment as they each collected their thoughts.

  “If we had a siren, Ner, it would be because they had tried to kill us. On the ocean, you cannot leave an enemy alive. There’s not enough resources; food, water, to keep an enemy in the brig for long. And if we did leave them alive, it would be because we believed they had information. Taking a prisoner, any prisoner, to the capitol or to one of our fortresses for interrogation is not mercy. Death is better.” Ael sounded far away, as if she were reciting someone else’s words. “If we had come on a wounded siren… I’d like to think we would stop to help, offer assistance or even sanctuary. I’d like to think I could be that person. But I don’t know. But I do know I’d make their end quick. I don’t need their suffering.”

  “Just their death,” Nereida finished quietly. It seemed as if the Admiral was hardly breathing. A tear fell down her cheek, but Nereida wiped it away furiously. She could not show weakness. She turned to yell at Ael more, to ease the ache in her heart by screaming and cursing.

  But Ael stood behind her, tears on her face and arms open. Nereida swallowed heavily and took a tentative step forward. Ael closed the distance, pulling her into a tight embrace while pressing their cheeks together. Their tears mingled.

  “I will be that person, for you. Because of you,” Ael promised softly. “Even if you leave me.”

  “I’m not leaving you,” Nereida replied, burrowing her face into the soft cotton that Ael wore beneath her armour. It stunk of sweat, but she chose not to mind. “Except perhaps to have dinner with my family,” she added with a forced cheeky grin. This was too raw, too much. Ael ughed sweetly and kissed the top of her head.

  “You could… you could bring them here?”

  “Another night. Tonight I need to show them my real face. They deserve to know their mother.” She felt heat rise up in her cheeks, but decided to be bold. “After they are asleep, can I come here? Maybe… to sleep in your bed?” It was an exceptionally forward ask, but she found she didn’t want to be alone any more. “Just sleep,” she qualified hastily. “I just don’t want to be alone after today.”

  “You never have to be alone again,” Ael replied, pcing a gentle kiss on her nose. “Not if you don’t want to be.”

  It was time to put the anklet on, before she could leave. She sat on the bed, slipping the golden trinket that burned with her mother’s magic around her ankle. The sensation of drowning and burning was almost too much to bear, but after a moment the feeling subsided and she was able to focus once again. Ael was staring at her in open horror.

  “It hurts you?” she demanded softly. “You put this on purposefully but it hurts you?”

  “Hurts less than the alternative,” Nereida replied sadly. “At least, looking like this, people don’t fear me.” Ael swallowed heavily, and said nothing. There was nothing she could say, and they both knew it.

  Ael walked her to her family’s cabin. She paused in front of the door, catching Nereida’s hand before she could knock.

  “Can I kiss you goodnight?” she asked softly. Nereida felt suddenly flushed, and she nodded. Ael leaned toward her, their noses touching for just a moment as she kissed her lips. Ael’s kiss was much softer, more tentative than any who had kissed Nereida before. Nereida put her hands on the back of Ael’s head, bringing her in harder, and she dared to slip her tongue into the shy woman’s slightly parted lips. Ael moaned a little, but did not push or pressure. When they came up for air, Ael looked slightly stunned but very, very happy.

  “Goodnight, princess,” Ael whispered, before she retreated. Nereida smiled, her heart racing and demanding more. Her shoulder demanded less. The wound from the gun ached severely now, and would probably feel worse once she was hug-attacked by her children.

  Basiano opened the door cautiously, but when he saw it was her he threw the door open. Boy boys, startled by the sudden movement, looked up and grinned at her with the biggest smiles she had ever seen. They did not, as she had expected, tackle her, but instead walked with barely restrained energy and gently wrapped arms around each leg. She rubbed their capped heads, and ushered them inside.

  She was content to let the children talk her ears off for the first hour. They had missed her so, and told about all sorts of things they had been learning from Uncle Bassi and from Dymion. The gnome had apparently been teaching the children about gardening and growing. He had a small section of the ship where he used magic to grow food; mostly carrots and potatoes but he had two apple trees that were growing.

  “It’s in a secret pce,” Alejo revealed with complete seriousness. “Only a few people are allowed to know. He said you and Uncle Bassi could know because we don’t keep secrets from parents, and then I told him Uncle Bassi was my uncle and you were my mommy.”

  He took a deep breath and plowed on talking, expining that Dymion knew, somehow, that he and his brother were sirens but that he was a safe man. He showed the boys magic under Basiano’s watchful eye.

  “But I can’t figure out how he knew, mama!” Egaz interrupted. “We were good!”

  “Oh little loves, it’s not you. Mommy had to use her magic to save us from some mean pirates. Lots of people saw, and smart people will know that you are like me.”

  “Ohhhh, so Dymion is smart!”

  Carefully, Nereida eased herself down to the floor. She patted beside her on each side; Egaz to her left, Alejo to her right. They pulled off their caps. Their sweet blue hair was matted with sweat. Nereida ruffled each boy’s head, knocking the hair loose.

  “Mommy kept a secret from you,” she began. “I did not want to, but I felt like you needed to be safe. But now, now, we are with people who understand.” Basiano coughed loudly at that. He was leaning against the wall, watching them. His eyebrow was raised up but he didn’t comment further, so Nereida continued. “It is still important you wear your caps once we leave this boat, but there is no reason to hide here.” The children both squealed with delight. “But, darlings, I was hiding myself too, even from you, and that’s not fair or right.” She leaned down, uncsped the anklet. The pressure from her mother’s magic disappeared.

  Her children stared up at her with wide, adoring eyes.

  “So pretty mommy!” Egaz excimed. “Will I be blue when I grow up? Or green or purple?” She ughed, taken off guard by his line of questions.

  “Maybe,” she answered. “I didn’t start turning blue until I was nearly 13, and then it was a slow thing.”

  “Can Uncle Bassi turn blue?” Alejo asked, bouncing excited.

  “No, son. I’m afraid I’m not changing colour. Though I can catch fire without getting hurt, which your mother cannot do.”

  She fielded a few more questions that got more and more ridiculous, until she decred it story time and then bedtime. They were happy to get ready for bed, because they had mommy stories again.

  “Uncle Bassi’s a better singer but way worse at stories,” Alejo revealed softly. Basiano grasped at his heart dramatically, feigning his death by falling into his bed in the corner. The bed creaked as the rge man did not soften his blow. He threw his feet in the air, wiggling them once before the legs also crashed to the bed. Both boys giggled until they had tears running down their faces.

  Tucking the children in proved difficult, as neither boy wanted to settle. Eventually, they settled for a story about her adventures with the Sylph, dramatized so that the small isnd they found didn’t just have some food and fresh water but instead had a great treasure. The treasure became magic beds that anyone would find comfortable, and she described the Sylph falling asleep one by one in great detail, until the droning of her soft story had both children sound asleep.

  Once the children were asleep, she stood to hug her brother.

  “Spending the night with the Admiral?” He asked softly, his tone deceptively light.

  “I’m no virgin princess to be coddled any more,” she replied.

  “Maybe not a virgin, but still a Princess. What if Father does not let you marry her?”

  “He’d be missing a hell of an opportunity for an ally,” she replied with a shrug. “And I stopped caring what the old man thought of me a long time ago.”

  “He’s still your king.” Her brother made a dark, worried face. “Unless you pn to renounce us?” He clenched and unclenched his fists, shifting more than usual.

  “You’re family, mom is family. I am not renouncing that.”

  She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I love you, Bassi. I even love the old man, gods know why. We will make it work… unless he pns to exile me for having children.”

  “He was drunk when he threatened that,” Basiano’s defence sounded hollow, was hollow.

  “Then I’m certain it’s how he felt; he just doesn’t think he could get away with it.” She sighed, feeling tired to her bones. “I just want to find happiness. She makes me feel it…. Most of the time.” She grimaced, thinking of their earlier argument. “But nothing is perfect.”

  “Go,” he sighed, nearly shoving her out the door, “before I feel the need to lecture you, or her, more.” She snickered at that, gave him a quick hug, and left to find Ael.