**Sophia**

  Now that everything with Videoland was taken care off and Amethist agreed to lead Hannah’s Chaos, it was time for Lucas to depart for Aruba to make his film a reality.

  Just like the previous time he left, he had a hard time with it. He had hired Floris, Marc, and Allan for his big roles. The rest was filled by actors who had auditioned. We were at the airport. “If anything happens, call me. Even if I’m filming or should be sleeping,” he said. “I’ll come back every weekend.” He kissed me.

  “Every weekend isn’t feasible, darling,” I said. “Come back once a month.” He protested, but ultimately had to concede that I was right. “Final call for Amsterdam to Aruba,” came over the intercom. He hugged me tightly one more time. “I love you.” He knelt and kissed my belly. “You both.” I laughed softly. “You’re not going to fight now. You’re coming home,” I said.

  “Come on, man,” Floris called. “We have to go. Then Sophia can finally see her secret lover,” he said grinning. “She doesn’t have one!” Lucas snapped. Floris threw an arm around him. “That was a joke, Mr. Director.” Lucas turned fire red. “I knew that,” he said. Allan also threw an arm around him. “Of course, kid,” he said.

  Grinning, they all walked to the gate. Lucas looked back one more time. Then the door closed. I placed my hand on my belly. “Well, little one, now we have the place to ourselves for a bit,” I said. Smiling, I walked out of the airport. Yes, I would miss Lucas a lot. But this was his dream. And if you can make it come true, you have to go for it.

  **Lucas**

  After 10 hours, we landed. Memories of the war from a few years ago washed over me. I kept them out for a while. On the parking lot, a few cars were ready to take us to the hotel. This was rented by my backers for an indefinite time. It was a low-budget little hotel with 18 rooms. Most of us would have to share a room. I got the only single room, so I could video call my girl undisturbed.

  It was a one-story hotel. With a pool in the middle and a terrace next to it where we could eat. My room wasn’t much. A double bed that just fit in the room. The door opened against it. On the far wall hung a TV. Next to the bed was a cabinet with a mini fridge filled by my backers. A hanging closet and chest of drawers for my clothes. Some knick-knacks to make the room seem cozy. Under the TV was a table with 2 chairs, so you could eat or sit there. In front of that, two armchairs. I set up my laptop.

  I looked at the clock; it was 10 PM. So I couldn’t call Sophia. It was 3 AM in the Netherlands. I’d get up early for her tomorrow morning. I wanted to see her so badly.

  There was a knock on my door. No one was there for a moment. But just before I wanted to close it again, Floris jumped in front of me. “Come on, let’s have a pool party!” he shouted. “So we can all get to know each other.” I wanted to say no, which Floris apparently saw. “Come on, man. Sophia’s sleeping. Come.”

  I sighed but gave in. By now it was dark, but still around 25 degrees. And humid. So it was a bit stuffy. The group of 16 actors and 18 crew members were already gathered by the pool. Where the hotel staff had gone all out with delicious snacks and drinks. The hotel DJ was already making it a proper party.

  As soon as Floris and I got to the pool, he took a running jump and made a huge cannonball into the pool, soaking part of the cast and crew. Allan yelled angrily at Floris that he wasn’t sitting by the pool for that. “I find that weird, huh, Allan. You go to the pool to get wet, don’t you,” Floris said grinning.

  I sat on one of the lounge chairs. “It’s been a long time, soldier,” I heard behind me. I turned around. One of my actors was from the war. And one of them was Lotte van Dijk. She was the singer of our band.

  “There were rumors you were one of the fallen,” she said smiling. She had clearly aged. “Still married, soldier?” she asked. “Just call me Lucas,” I said smiling. “Are you the director?” I nodded. “But still married?” I nodded again. “And even becoming a father in half a year,” I said proudly.

  “Wow, congratulations. I thought you’d done that long ago.” I shook my head. “No, it took longer than we hoped.” She nodded. “But now a child?” I nodded. “She’s 3 months pregnant now. She couldn’t come because I also have a series being filmed by my assistant at the same time,” I explained.

  “Such a series. Tell me about it.” I laughed. “Second season just finished. And we’re working on the third, which we have to. Because Sophia is pregnant,” I explained. “And what’s the series called?” she asked amused. “Hannah’s Chaos. My sweet wife plays Hannah,” I said. Her eyes widened.

  “Seriously? That red-haired firecracker is your wife? I watched because I heard Sam and Jonas were in it and I wanted to see them again.” I laughed softly. “Yes, that’s my wife.” She nodded. “That you can handle her, man. Or is she less fiery off camera?” Lotte asked.

  I laughed. “No, even fiercer. That’s the best thing about her.” I sighed for a moment. “I miss her terribly already. But she convinced me.” Lotte nodded. “And you hope to finish the film on time before your baby is born?” I sighed. “Yes. At least here. A lot can be shot in a studio at home. But some things really have to be here.”

  Lotte nodded. “Do you want to be here?” I sighed. “I have to. But to answer your question: no, I’d rather be with my Sophia. Taking care of her. Watching the baby grow.” I sighed again. “But I call her every day and go home once a month.” Lotte nodded.

  “I saw my script, huh,” she began. “Your song is in it. But I’m alone. Why don’t we sing it together again?” I shook my head. “For your wife. It’s a moment where you’re in your own film.” I sighed. “Come on,” she said. “You sound like Sophia. She thought I should play my own role.” She laughed. “I agree. But come on, sing with me in your film.” I sighed. “You had me at ‘do it for your wife’.”

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  The first week was filled with shoots in the old camp. It was the first time Lotte and I set foot there again. Everything was still there. As a tribute to everything that happened. The hospital tent was half collapsed after the attack on the last day. In the part that was still standing, everything was left behind. Bandages, old medicine cabinets, the keys gone or broken.

  The barracks, as we called the living tents, were charred black. But still standing. Here and there by a bed stood a possessions chest. Including by my bed. The key to it was still hidden under a stone under my old bed.

  But opening the chest and looking at my own possessions, I didn’t dare. It felt like I’d disturb something that had finally found peace. So for now, I left it. “Are all those other chests from the deceased?” I asked whispering. I don’t know why I whispered. Lotte nodded. “Yes,” she whispered too.

  In the women’s tent, the beds were still there too. Cold field beds. Here and there a forgotten photo. Spirits seemed to linger here too. The tent that served as a dining hall was the worst. The cloths torn. The contents almost all burned. Everything except the old weathered piano. The source of joy in the fearful and violent days. “Before we demolish this,” I began. “I want to capture it exactly as it is. I think the older Cas walks through here. I think I want to start like this.”

  I nodded. “Yes. I want to start with the older Cas walking here, evoking the feeling. And that he tells his wife about his war struggle at this piano.” Lotte looked at me. “That has to be you. You start and end this film.” I shook my head. “No,” I said. “Exactly. And your Sophia plays the woman he tells it to.” “That can’t be. She’s not here. We wanted to film everything here,” I said. “Setting up the camp half a kilometer away, no one will notice.” Lotte looked around.

  “Hiding this place doesn’t feel right. This is where it happened. You know that too. Here we lived. Here we felt fear. And here they died. The people we’re telling this story for.” She looked at me. “Yes, I get it. We want to tell it here. But we do that too if we start and end here.” Lotte was right. This was too charged a place to rebuild and demolish everything again. “But how then?” I asked.

  “You either bring your wife over now and film those two scenes. Or you come back after your baby is born and film the two scenes then,” she said. “Now. She has rest now. She can still fly.” Floris threw his arm around me. “And you miss her.” I laughed and patted his hand.

  The rest of the day, my crew and some locals built an exact replica of our old camp. Half a kilometer away, that truck was even still there. The old army truck with those tarps over it.

  Here at were we brought here. And felt our first deathly fears. Bullets whizzed past our ears. And because we lay on the ground of the truck, we survived those fearful hours. The tarps had since rotted away. This was a tribute to the war. That evening in the hotel, I called Sophia. After a short conversation, she decided to come. I booked an urgent flight for her. She would stay 3 days.

  The next morning I was woken by loud banging. “Yes,” I said, sitting straight up in bed. “Yes, come in.” Lotte walked in grinning, followed by Sophia. “Phi,” I said, standing up immediately. “Saw him light up when you walked in,” Lotte called grinning. I hugged my beloved wife. “Of course. I get to hold her again,” I said. And kissed her.

  “We have three days, Luuk. What do you want me to do?” she asked. “Simple. You play Cas’s wife. You and Cas visit after years the places where it all began for Cas. Lotte here, and you mostly, made me realize I have to play the opening and ending scene as Cas.” Sophia laughed. “Finally, he gets it,” she said. “So I also wanted my real wife as Cas’s wife.” I said. “And what’s her name?” she asked.

  “Aurora. Because you — and thus also she — were the only light in my life. Because your light always brought me back to who I needed to be.” She kissed me. “Sappy,” she teased. I laughed and hugged her. That afternoon we started filming. We decided to just let these parts happen. For the best and most authentic feeling.

  Hand in hand we walked through the jungle, followed by rolling cameras. We stopped the old truck. “What’s wrong?” Sophia asked. “Here it began. At the airport and the road there, yes, you heard it. And smelled the spices here and there. But here it got real.” I paused briefly, so the editors could insert a flashback in between.

  I had told her what Cas would see and thus also tell Aurora. “I was almost as scared as you at hearing that news,” she said. “We walked further into the camp. Sophia startled briefly but didn’t show it. I silently led her through the camp.

  At that old weathered piano, I sat down. She grabbed an old chair too. “Here, huh Rortje. Here we ate. And this one.” I struck a few keys. The sound that came out was off. But it filled me with memories. I felt emotional. “This old friend gave us the necessary joy,” I said.

  “Do you want to tell me here, at this place, the place where death nearly separated us, everything?” I nodded. “Yes.” I looked just over her into a camera. “Yes, I’ll tell you everything.” I waited a few seconds again. “Cut. Got it,” I said. “Now the end scene. Then Phi can safely go home.” She rolled her eyes briefly.

  “Action,” I called. I looked into that same camera again. “That’s everything I know. And what was told to me afterward, my dear Aurora.” I began. Sophia nodded. “This is the story that happened here at this exact spot. Where everything nearly was lost.” Again I playfully struck a few keys. “Everything except this old weathered piano.” I laughed into the camera. “Let’s go. And let this piano be a source of pleasure for the spirits here. A tribute to everything won and lost here.”

  Sophia stood up and took my hands. “Come. Let the past stay here by that old piano. Let’s go to our future,” she said. “Cut!” I said with slight tears in my eyes. “Perfect.” I kissed her. The rest of the day she sat next to me while we filmed scenes in the rebuilt camp. Around dinnertime, I called it enough. I had only one more evening with my girl. I wanted to enjoy it.

  We ate at a restaurant. Walked on the beach and shopped. Since she was pregnant, she only got baby gifts now. I wanted to spoil her. Back at the hotel, we had a few drinks. Then spent our last night together for a full month in each other’s arms.

  The next morning I took her to the airport. “Take care of yourself?” I asked. She nodded and laughed softly. “We’re safe, Lucas.” She took my hand. “Make your film. And come back on time for this one,” she said, placing my hand on her belly. “I’ll see you in four weeks.” She hugged me. “I love you.” I kissed her as if it were the last time. Then she boarded the plane. And left.

  The rest of the month was busy. We had long days. Filmed Cas, Alex, and Siem’s arrival on Aruba. Alex was the character based on my brother. Siem was based on Sam. We filmed the expensive scene in the truck. I wanted everything as authentic as possible.

  I enjoyed the process less with each passing day. The days were endless. I missed my Sophia. Yes, I video called her every day, but it was different. I missed her arms, her kisses, her humor, her way of keeping me in line. I missed her body, her soul. I missed everything. She showed me daily how much bigger she thought her belly was getting. "It hasn't kicked yet," she said. She seemed dead tired to me. So for her sake, I ended the call after 10 minutes.

  I wanted to go home. I wanted to see my baby grow. And I wanted to be in her arms.