F O R EW A R D :

  This book is highly fictional. It’s a lot of my life combined with a life I never had or never got to. Who I am is closer to what you read in this book. If you are offended by racial slurs, or gang-related violence - you made a good choice! For what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger! I wrote this book on a bi-polar level so high I was on one of cosmic consciousness. I try to make amends in this fictional everyday diary of myself as not myself, but how I feel like inside and my true emotions and pheromones connecting on a stellar cellular level.

  I tell of all my true-life strife, true-story triumphs and deadly tragedies mixed with tales of chivalry and villainy that can only lace perfectly in a Gemini’s nature and demented frame of mind. But I live to tell it all - You will now read the story of this amazing tale in 3-D in which you’ve never seen it before or heard before.

  The story is saturated in blood and death. This book will bare it all! You will probably like some of it and be horrified and maybe even disgusted by a lot of it. Some of the segments in this novel are powerful and may be unsuitable for kids under 18. Explicit unadulterated, uncut, uncensored, unrated, unedited content awaits you. Adults only, if you can handle it! It’s an autobiography from hell. Enjoy!

  Oh, yeah – ps…

  Read if you dare, and turn every page at your own risk. Because you can’t shun me for what I put down, it’s the motherfuckn’ truth...

  Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts, and would do anything to be in their presence? But because of your status, reputation, and condemning - you would be shunned forever? Have you ever wished you could change things? Things that were seemingly set in stone that have already destroyed your life. These things made you even more miserable.

  The opening statement and letter introduce the storyline about a bi-polar boy who writes a letter concerning his school’s haunted activities. He was about to be taught a hard lesson in tall tales that come true - and true love turned tragic. But this tale of true love reveals our inner most passions and desires to become a true and pure hero at heart. Evil is around every corner, but only the human spirit - dead or alive - sans amnesia - can stop it! Sometimes, second chances do occur, and sometimes . What the human soul and heart will do to protect someone they love and cherish is amazing. Or what they will do to protect someone else’s loved ones. Death is never the end, but a spirited beginning - yet a dark beginning. Especially for one who wreaks havoc and evil vengeance upon a certain town in Western New York.

  PRELUDE

  SCARECROW HILL :

  The LEGEND OF FRONTIER WOOD

  MYTH OF A MURDER

  SC Hill

  (The following statements were the last words of this specific teenager before Christmas Friday of 2002, over the megaphone of his P.A. system in his school - . His last letter is addressed to his school’s wits about their own backyard.

  THE SPEECH

  “Hello, Frontier goers! Nah, forget that. How ’bout - What the heck is up, Frontier?? It’s been a while - but I’m here - reporting to you live straight outta Hamburg - and we still smokn’! Affiliated n’ pplaya hated- it’s all good. Nikkillz in da house, and would like to say what’s crackalack‘n to everyone in the district - dead or alive. Homeez n’ playas on the whitey side of the Falcon pride?? Get ready for tha ride of your live! It’s goin’ down! Check out my latest blog and newsletter this Christmas, it’s a killer! Peace out, Falcon Pride.”

  THE NEWSLETTER FROM THE TALON

  *Halloween's just around the corner, and have I got a secret to tell. Some may think it’s crazy, but on all accounts, it’s true. We all know that big lot right behind the track, down that little path the runners use for practice around the woods, right? If not, listen up. It may save your life one day...

  In the summer of ’99, . I was a freshman at Frontier. I ran an experiment proving the lot’s haunted activity Exactly, what haunted activity? Well, what I learned that summer’s eve was even a bit too much for me. I didn’t believe it either. The mystery was uncovered when I was playing with friends. This isn’t a hoax, either. Legend has it that a “Scarecrow” is walking the weary, dark paths every night at midnight behind merry ol’ Frontier. Myth has it that this “thing” that looks like a scarecrow is actually a demon. Back in the old days, when people wanted to scare animals away from the gardens, they used scarecrows.

  Way before Frontier was built, the neighborhoods were under construction. Before you and your parents, and even your grandparents were born, the scarecrow was in his prime, and still alive. Remember the ol’ saying that the “Scarecrow” walks at midnight? Well, it is true. The legend states specifically that the SC is a result of negative energy and comes from a demonic origin.

  , or tall tales archives told around the camp fires, a renegade psychopath whom escaped from the local mental ward after his recent capture. After a big brawl and huge shootout in the open fields with officials, the scarecrow was shot and re in blood. He made a pact with the Devil. With no soul to tell, Vinny Blades made a violent onslaught on the town of Windsor, thus moving back here to only be attacked by state constables in 1789. The death of this insanity brought peace to all. He was shot, hung, frozen, boiled, and my personal favorite - quartered! But no matter what you did to the creep, he still survived.

  Poisons, toxins and burning could not hurt him, so finally they buried the vile creature to rest in two pieces after beheading it. Since quartering the creature was insufficient to pull his hide apart. They did succeed eventually, but he still put himself back together. So much for death row. The wooded outlet has been haunted ever since.

  The unsolved case lays unabridged to why he has killed so many, on his crusade of carnage. Fear is his namesake. The rampage is his well being. He is the sadness and sorrow of Hamburg, he is now cursed to harm anyone who gets in his way. But even Satan would be embarrassed to be in the shadows of this scarecrow. Bizarre murders have happened in this town’s vicinity since the man was murdered so long ago by officials in the Queen’s exiled city - Hamburg.

  Buffalo was the Queen’s city; Hamburg was the Exile’s city. Only the mentally insane were to live in Hamburg. But that’s the past. Old wives’ tales indicated that the Robin lane neighborhood is unbearably spooky. Duh, I live there, so I investigated the whole thing. The inhabitants in the area even say they feel uncomfortable. The police have no record of a scarecrow (labeled SC in the Hamburg Sun Newspaper), but they do claim that these woods are eerie. Even the bravest cops were afraid. Some reports say that two SCs have been prowling the neighborhood. One good. One evil. Odd, you’d think they were one and the same, sporting two costumes. But the evidence indicates that there are two Scarecrows. The good one hates the other one. Tale has it the bad scarecrow killed the good one and his whole family. Only supernatural revenge can subdue the crazed one. The spell ends when one or the other goes to hell. Chances of that, slim. Like a demon, the SC finds innocent souls to harm. The mighty s of the is still a relic to these woods. Somewhere the artifact is buried secretly, alive, only to let the SC use it at will. As well as too an amulet, which makes for his carefree immortal lifestyle.

  A god of fear. A prince of pain and king of killing. The madman lurks the woodlands at night, stalking his victims. At midnight or beginning of dusk, he waits patiently for his next victim, preying upon them for fun. Usually, the brisk breeze through your hair or those twigs breaking aren’t what they seem. And that feeling of not being alone or being stalked? Well, it’s him. Waiting. Taunting. Laughing. There are eyewitnesses to confirm his existence. One previously said they saw a red clothed man running in the direction of the ‘Hill’. Other witnesses are accounted for, but this was too close - a fluke that slipped my fingers! I want to get pictures of this, as well as seize the SC in action. The conservation and environmentalist agencies don’t have an explanation yet. O.k., it sounds funny, but if he’s repossessed the flesh and bloody tissue of himself, and he is captured, than this proves his corpse is real and attainable. He’s out there somewhere. Bloodthirsty as ever.

  On top of all this crazy stuff, there’s more! A demonic worship and praise of this monster has been certainly underway in the SC’s cult. A cult! They ride over to the clearing to summon his phantasm. The apparition of this thing is made-up of a strawy substance that is split into polymers. This lets the ghost view its humanly form. The polymers can also deflect ammo. But on the far side, his spirit has no limit of powers through the ouija board. I have already made contact with him. And a banshee at that, howling at nothing, screaming at nothing, just air. The ghostly lights are his trademark lantern of the souls he’s collected. Take precautions while trekking through the woods. He is the Hamburg version of the Amityville horror.

  This factual story is to warn yous, not scare yous. Granted, Halloween’s coming up, and the cool autumn air is fuel to the SC’s means in the woods. He’s our very own fully functional homicidal maniac phantom in the schoolyard. If any teacher or student is interested in helping me create the club of all clubs, the Ghostlink club, let’s do it. Whether you’re new to this stuff, or a veteran, we, I, and all of the Ghostlink club’s bystanders are welcoming you.

  Rule #1; never be scared because there are no rules to where our activities can go. From old cemeteries to dark graveyards, you won’t be disappointed. The initial outline of this club is to party and to have fun. And most importantly, face your wildest fears. And amongst our fieldtrips is the ultimate surprise. A certain cemetery unlike others. One trip is to go to the bare skull and rotted earth and animal zone where the trees are dead. The mother of all fears, the gateway to hell itself: SC Hill. To prove it, I have a scar on my wrist from the Scarecrow’s scythe. It grazed me. I was walking purposelessly and --- Wham! I ducked but my wrist was the deflecting object. Ouch. But I ran and got through it. This actually got me interested. The bad vibes I got from this place-damn. Deep in the heart of these woods the skeletal remains of deceased animals linger in the unhallowed ground. I was overpowered and thus nearly killed by this thing. The ‘thing’ was the scarecrow, whom I have respect for now. And I am thankful and hopeful to be alive. I was just trying to understand this thing, like a scientist.

  And being a dead guy, you’d think his breath would to be horrid. But actually, it had a pepperminty aroma to it. So close, I could taste it. Weird. Tall tales say, if a really wretched aroma comes about, the stench is considered a bad specter. Him. But in his case, peppermint. His agility, strength, endurance, speed, intelligence, and durability seem to be or are superhuman, preferably supernatural. Duh! The paranormal part isn’t what hurt, though. It was the physical part. The scythe. His gloves are made of leather and are squared off at the tips. His long sharp claws make an appearance when he’s angry. The unlucky target surely regrets it. They are definitely retractable hiding in an invisible tang. Thus, enabling deadly accuracy.

  His straw movements unpredictable, moving around like wiggly sharp tendrils and forming acute pointed objectse can project hot, sharp objects from his demonic body - from any angle. Seems untrue, but his spirit is real. When you’re dead, anything’s possible I suppose. You can tell it’s him standing in the fogs and mists, just by observing his grayish cowl, and tall brown hat . Absolute since he appears to have a body of undead flesh.

  I know my history, and this guy isn't a joke - nor a hoax! The boots of ‘farmer’ descent, and pants that resemble that of corduroys - this ain’t no fake! The trademark and distinct costume features close in on his pumpkin - like a burlap mask. On a good hot summer night, His mouth is full of jagged, needle-like teeth. His eyes morph into fiery moon-like shapes based on mood swings. He appeared evil beyond recognition. He wears a burlap vest and flannel button down shirt. The phenomenon is real, so help this club get haunting! Any questions, comments, or concerns, or just plain interested, call me at 555-5502. I will make a website. I’m just dying to hear from yous, as all are invited! We need all the help and ideas we can muster.

  Attention to all teachers and staff members: If you are reading this, I would be greatly appreciative if one would let us use your classroom for meetings. If you attend, refreshments will be served with t

  Thank you,

  Nick “The Slick” Ranic

  a.k.a Nikkillykill == or just Nikkill

  P.S.-Beware the red turning leaves of fall and steer clear the sides of the autumn

  path behind the school, for the red leaves usually infer the sign of the ‘Scarecrow’. PEACE...

  The kid who wrote this letter was never heard from again. He was murdered. Not by this hoax, but by his fellow man. Because now a story is about to be written about the real scarecrow.

  /

  aka--R.I.P. SAW - THA $CAR^CROW.....

  DISCLAIMER:

  As you read this book - Nick’s, (my), persona is awakening. Second spoiler alert and newsflash….This story of torment and death is actually being told by two personalities locked in eternal bliss in the tree of the dead. (which is where my corpse is laying to rest) My two personalities. It may be confusing, but it’s the only way to understand this story thoroughly. When I say ‘I’, I am telling you this story firsthand as I plunder the underworld of Purgatory all the way to the actual streets of Hamburg with pitch-perfect narration.’ When I say ‘he’ or ‘him’, I am talking from the demonic point of view of my psyche and of myself in third person, and what ‘he’ sees from the scorching despair blood shot eyes of RipSaw aka Nicholas Michael Ranic. The lucid dream memories could also be nightmares depending on situation.

  Every King has to be a soldier when the chips are down. Every God has to be a devil when he’s poor. In my case, I am a Gemini with two personalities.; I am my own ruler. I am my own God. Every psychic fears me. Every telepath loathes me because my thoughts are too dirty. I am too powerful, now. In this passing of our world I should have died and gone to heaven or hell. But unfinished business has somehow caught me and my other spiritual entity off guard! He (NICK – DEAD GUY), is scared. But I (the demonic entity), am all but unprepared for this new world - Purgatory. That’s for now, though. We shall break out of here, eventually. But until then, we need strength. Nick needs energy. I (the demon), needs rest as well. And now back to our calling…

  /

  “Origin of Blood” - Baptism of fire straight into hell

  In a small town called Hamburg, on the west side of New York State, there was anything but innocence in this desolate town. Hamburg is no stranger to tragedy. In 2002, tragedy struck yet again.

  On a cold day in Hamburg’s Westside-Frontier territory, a boy whose name is already mentioned in this novel made the ultimate mistake. The boy, only 17, found a place to stay for the night in the wilderness after getting thrown out into the real world by his father. His father was five eleven with blonde hair and blue eyes, the Northern European look, but was Italian. His mom was small, petite, and not to say the least unhappy. Little Nick was all but laconic. He figured his big ego was a somebody. His parents had divorced when he was 14. He was just a little *slang for Italian* kid in the suburbs who tried to make it. But shit happens in the Ranic family. His dream to be a somebody was shattered by his mom’s decision to leave him at such a ripe age, when he needed her most. Nick was taunted by this ‘separation anxiety’. Being abandoned by his mother made him question his future interaction with women. This torrent of stressful pain and undergoing pressure was just the beginning.

  He was walking on a rigged path, not the same path he had walked on years earlier. But the same path he would be doomed to walk for years to come. But, before we continue on, be forewarned, this teenager was not your average teenager. He was special. He had problems here and there, but even those gigantic problems were nothing compared to his reoccurring mental pain and torture which were unmatched. Grant it, the vile relationship He had with himself became frightening. The mental picture he had of himself was terrible. His self-esteem was gone. And above all, he spurred into somewhat of a lunatic after what he had to undergo in his sadistic lifetime, such as the bullying he endured through numerous events. He was dorky and nice on the surface, but anything underneath. So, what was this cumulating to? Well, everything this world ever thought, said, or told about this boy was about to change drastically. His evil aura became his calling. What once was an extremely deadly lunatic will now be transformed into an even more exceptionally dangerous animal!

  As Nick walks down this lonesome path, he remembers all the cruel things people ever said to him or did to him, and internalized the insults. His verbal assailants who made fun of him made it look so nonchalant and to the point where nothing was ever resolved because nothing was ever important enough look into. Sadly, even after getting bullied, everyone was so displeased with him that he was a major disappointment to his family, peers, friends, and others. His family shattered into tiny little pieces. What’s done is done, and like his one uncle said, ‘Once you turn dirt over in the soil, it’ll never be the same.’ But something did still grow….

  because the kid (Nick) supposedly threatened him through the grapevine. Not likely. But that seemed to be just one of the wicked cases brought against Nick that were said but never proven true. He supposedly smashed two baby rabbits with a sledgehammer. This not only didn’t happen, but this was also not the last of his ‘personal’ slander and libel. It seemed like even the innocent got cornered. Feeling a sense of dignity for once, the young boy of 17 treks out to make things right. He goes to his spot - The Clearing behind his school where his story was made so infamous. He had to think for a bit. ‘What did he have to lose?’ Money? Cars? Women? Not really. But this kid was going insane.

  His dad on the other hand, met a blonde woman by the name of Jennifer Bradford. She was in his dad’s age bracket, 40s. Anyway, after the wronged boy set out to apologize and did for what he did as in threatening his uncle supposedly, his dad on the other hand still mocked the fact that Nick was sincere. His dad was always money-tight and angry. Nick just couldn’t win. The next two years of Nick’s life were filled with insomnia and uneasiness. His dad just couldn’t get Nick’s humor…never did. On the social front, Nick was always accepted into the younger crowds because he was cool to them or the much older crowds, because he was so straightforward. The boy was too bizarre and weird to hang out with the ‘cool kids’ at his church or his school that were his own age, until he began to mentally grow up and seeing the real world - ugly. And when he did, he would either get into a brawl, or be mocked and laughed at like as if his life were nothing but a big fat joke!

  What did ever do to these kids other than tell it like it is or was? Granted, he did extremely weird things and talked out of turn. But one thing he was not was an asshole. The record had to be set straight. This kid is not just some tough guy off the streets, or some retard. In fact, his I.Q. superseded many - but he just refused to do his work. Could it have been his autistic nature that superseded his bipolar persona? So much potential, but he was labeled lackadaisical! Contrary to popular belief, he was not a clown in which you could easily fool. He played dumb but was a rattlesnake waiting to strike. He may laugh with you, but it doesn’t mean he’s really laughing with you. He remembers...

  He experienced ten years of being tricked and deceived. That was the story of his life first through tenth grade. It took a toll on Nick. He contemplated suicide many times His sister was not afraid. But He did try. Slicing himself with nails, needles, and popping pills like crazy to ease the skin carving pains. No one knew, yet they all thought he was an immature weirdo who didn’t care about much and was extremely laid back. True - laid back on Mary Jane. But still, was so immature. He never recollected his past and wrongs, nor comprehended his future and life. He could never admit he was wrong, or incorrect. The boy figured life was just an unbearable sore - that to try and close it up would mean to act mature and accept responsibilities. But now --- He had been wronged. Nobody cared for this wretched child when he needed it most, especially on certain accounts when he was misbehaving. His grandparents came out of the cut (cracks) and happily put Nick on good track and terms with his schoolwork. Aside from his uncle’s mishap of too many misunderstandings, which included Nick threatening him over his parents’ divorce which left Nick devastated…Nick never actually threatened his uncle but his uncle as always ‘believed’ people over Nick back in the day. After Nick’s parents split, his uncle tried to play parent and threatened PINS and other government assisting programs on him and his sister to make them behave for his father. Nick didn’t like this at all, and somehow it got back to his uncle that he threatened him when in fact Nick just said he’d rather leave the state than deal with his uncle’s bullshit. But as with anything else, in the end the gossip which followed the boy around just got worse…and while all this plays in his head….death creeps closer. He is Nicholas Michael Ranic --- and this is his Eulogy.

  His name was a mockery at the Frontier school board. The students made him feel unsafe in his own home; ice balling him, throwing baseballs at him, and batting stones at his house’s big front window. Now what the fuck is that?! I call it harassment and vandalism. But kids call it ‘fun’. Like the summer his family was egged twice by vandals - assholes that never had the guts to confront them. Nick left his past to be sewed up, like soon-to-be-worn alter-ego.

  Nick was now in a dark lot: December 23, 2002. The infamous Clearing.

  A cold and chilly day, not a degree above 23 outside. A brisk wind chilled up Nick’s spine. Bad feelings ensued. A horde of kids flooded thru the open way. Lots of miscellaneous punks and kids were making a bonfire. It was the Friday before Christmas break. They were having a last day before break party. All was cool, as Nick happened upon them. Something drew him there, but he was unaware of what was ahead of him.

  They all stayed a while and finally began to push Nick. He retaliated to one, like it was a joke. Four of the culprits were excessively drunk and were on top of him dancing and singing off key. One kid called out: “Traitor!!” By the time he looked, his face was being rubbed into some kid’s ass crack. He crept away while everyone was laughing aloud. He took a sharp twig and stabbed the little bitch. The kid squeaked as the twig went into his eye. Nick was sick and tired and just wanted to beat someone, or just go home. But suddenly, a kid remarked on how Nick went to another school and betrayed the fraternal trust of his hometown. His team, the Falcons.

  Now, Nick hated school in general very much. Nothing personal, but the school board and his old colleagues saw him for a fool. He hated being most unathletic on his team. The coach may have just seen he was no good but the majority of his team’s jock system just didn’t mix with Nick. He’ll admit he was no team hero, but he was no traitor. There was just no love. He was the loser water boy.

  So, the jokes on Nick now. He looked through the crowd, they were chanting two hymns. The school Frontier hollered the word saw, a football knick name for Nick being sharp with the tongue. (football nickname too) . I think they were chanting it to get the fight going. Nick was a downright smart-ass - and they let him know it. The rivalry school, Hamburg, forged an uneasy alliance with their cross town enemy yelled the word ‘’ which is commonly how the Hamburg socialites spelled scarecrow back in the early settlement days. They saw Nick’s story in the school paper, ‘The Talon’. They called it a fake, a hoax, and wanted to prove him wrong. And both schools hated Nick for bringing it up since it got him a lot of popularity. Ninth and tenth graders who ranged from thuggish to preppie to freak -gathered for Nick. They all asked about the Skarecrow. They were the young and restless. They liked Nick’s story. They wanted to hear more. Nick was the ace in the hole at Hamburg, so why the feuding crap? It didn’t make sense. Now he had to determine who was friend or foe? But it soon became obvious, the party came to a crashing halt as the older kids made Nick a punching bag. Jealousy.

  The younger kids watched in horror as Nick was beaten to a pulp, within an inch of his life. He took it with the grain of salt. No hit backs. Why did he hold back? It had come together for Nick: It was like an execution. But maybe this was his long-awaited suicide? No matter who he was that night, no matter what nick name he chose, that night haunted him. He was going down! Skarecrow or Saw – shit was hitting the fan! But to be honest, nick names were yelled at the drop of a dime at numerous feuding school events. Kind of like intimidation.

  ‘Scarecrow’ and ‘Ripsaw’ became popular at different school locales - like even Maryvale and Orchard Park. It seemed like he just couldn’t escape the pandemonium his nicknames brought - especially when the Kiss 98.5 radio station hosted the school’s sporting events. As his nicknames raced thru his head, His heart was thumping louder and more fiercely. Everything was going dark and cold. His clothes were muddied when four students threw him into a pit. Now the fun begins...

  “Hey, SAW!” Said a familiar voice in the darkly shadows of the forest. The next thing that happens is only fit for a tyrant’s demise. “Kill him! He’s a bitch! A pussy ass biotch screamed some drunk kid. “Beat his ass! Whoop him!” The kids roared at him for a story. A fucking story! Or was there more? Suddenly, the mess got more intertwined. Jealousy was one percent of the mess, now. A Hungarian boy yelled, “Hey, BITCH stalker!” He recalled once when Nick went to a younger girl’s parents’ house to get a job, but it was a set up that created a lot of misunderstandings. Misunderstandings.....

  Even this so-called female’s parents felt that Nick was following her, even though these speculations came from another sixteen-year-old. Trustworthy? Nope, but this girl still embarrassed him enough at the fair by letting this ugly rumor out. Yet it wasn’t true. In fact, his friend with him that day gave the whole idea of leaving his other friend’s house that day 2 streets down to go up and get the friggin’ job. It was either that, or the mean streets of Buffalo. Homeless. His dad would surely kick him out! And this very rumor was also brought on by him ‘supposedly’ saying he was her stepbrother and calling her more than expected one day. Yet the stepbrother thing was made up by another bitch, not him. HA! A setup!

  He never thought joking around like that was going to get him into trouble with these people. His bad! But fuck it! Even lies like that can’t bring him down. Lies that will haunt those people who started it. The boy who set Nick up cracked Nick in the back of his head with a hammer. Nick was alive, still. Barely. His sister and mother couldn’t stop this, and his dad so far away was not letting him back into the house - or intervening. Nick was fucked. ROYALLY FUCKED. “Hey, Ranic, you should have put some more effort into football.” A jock said sarcastically from the homecoming lineup. One of the teens started barking like a dog - the team’s mascot. The other thugs there were flashing gang signs and other bullshit to Nick just for asking one kid’s girl out. It got ugly. They came to see if Nick was really going to die. Like this was a show!! “Hey Nick, you remember me?” The thug talking was a crip. Unknown to him even, his girlfriend was a setup to kill Nick, as well. They say one thug has rage, caused by his father being murdered True. But Nick had no part in that shit, his dad was killed because of a drug deal gone bad. And it doesn’t give the right to kill someone else for the hell of it. And killing someone like Nick, especially a demonic heroin such as himself – was going to be some shit for them. This crip and his girl along with his psycho friend with his shady girlfriend were all watching happily. One of the thug’s wore a wicked

  smile of silent relief - as if Nick were meant to die like this. Nick managed to say “I got nuth’n but love for y’all.” before every coward and meathead alike beat, kicked, punched, and just beat the living shit out of him – a fading voice that said ‘Sayonara Saw.’

  You’d think it was a gang initiation like seven penny pick up. The only thing he felt ‘for real’ at the moment were the vicious stabbing and slicing from various weapons such as switchblades and razors. The smaller kids kicked and beat him when he was down, using shanks. Their attitude was just “Don’t give a fuck.”

  And so, ruthless and relentless reality set in stripping away all of Nick’s sanity. Why? In fact, his dorkiness, nervousness, and every other deterring aspect of this boy’s personality that turned off other people in the first place - was cut away from him. Along with his generosity and humor. Nick was like a zombie. To finish their deed, one kid from his fourth grade who fought him and won undisputedly took Nick and put him up on a cross-like stake. At least it looked like him…shit was fuzzy now. This is now happening way back in the quarry-like opening in the woods, which basically comes to a swampy fork in the road by the creek behind it.

  A little insight - “The boy we all came to know and love (not really), has been murdered.” But not to the point of no return, at least... This soon to be unhallowed crypt for Nick’s corpse was dubbed ‘Scarecrow Hill.’ The real Scarecrow Hill.

  “O.K., Saw, now you shall rest in piece. Or, pieces! Hahahahahhahhaha!” An insidious laughter floated around the kids at this evil hallowed ground. Nick laughed too. A twisted and unheard laugh. Nick’s own inner voice, prepared for death. Nick was trying to prepare for the end, it was just around the corner. His mistake was allowing himself to be put on the stake! This twisted realization made him laugh even harder to himself and at himself - completely losing control of all mental apparatus and stability. Near death now, there was no other laughter but Nick’s twisted sense of humor in his own corrupted little mind. Exactly - what mind?

  But someone recalled from the rival school that didn’t know his surname to Tha Saw - that if Nick the Saw were to rest in peace, then Nick the ‘Saw’ would be named Nick the Ripsaw. “Heh, rest in peace, saw.” “Hey, r-i-p- saw. Get it? Ripsaw!!” Or infamously: R.I.P. “S.A.W.Y.” S.A.W. (Rest In Peace ‘Secret Assault Weapon’ Yesterday Slain At War). {War meaning the home spawn war in his territory; the two schools’ rivalry} He was slain, yes. Nick was yesterday. No more Nick! SECRET ASSAULT WEAPON? No. But in his demise or defense, it came to be true in the aftermath. There was more to the story. He was no longer a water boy for Frontier’s football team, but secretly transformed into an assault weapon for the afterlife. Not that he wasn’t already special. A killing machine like no other. A psychopath in disguise - he was more than meets the eye!

  A couple of punishing blows to the jaw were given right as lightning struck the apex of the stalk and rain covered the area, flooding all the lower regions of the hill. The kids left to escape the flood swirling around the clearing’s base. The dangling ‘Saw’, who was now nailed to the cross, mimicking Jesus. Nick cried for a second chance. Like as if he really didn’t want to die now. Nick was ashamed to die like this. Especially being set up, so many questions. The nerve of these kids to do such a thing!

  The water was rising furiously. Lightning hit Nick through the stake shaft, frying him. After beating, torturing, and eventually maiming Nick the last three left behind tased him for fun. Nick was delirious. One of the boys threw a burlap smiley face over Nick’s face and tightened the rope to reassure the nails in his wrist and ankles don’t slide through his flesh. Someone stabbed him with a saw. He thought the blood from his ripe red palms were gushing hard but blood was pouring like a waterfall from his abdomen. One coward punk stuck a lit cigar butt into Nick’s raw flesh.

  Another kid pissed and shit on the base of the stalk holding Nick up. He must have been high or something - but had so much disrespect. Nick was getting closer to death. There was one kid left. “For your dead and bloody bitch.” The kid pointed to the young girl and two boys Nick failed to protect that were beaten in the clearing behind them. Sadly, this was one of Nick’s very own friends who was a fan of the Skarecrow story… who now added insult to injury by saying this - as the mad kid poured gasoline all over the wooden stalk and Nick’s bloodied corpse. “Fuck you.” Nick muffled faintly underneath the mask. Another kid stuck a stiletto heel into Nick’s side. “Burn in Hell.” Nick gagged and dangled fiercely while the blue suited villain stabbed him over and over again, relentlessly and unremorsefully. “Stalking girls are we Nicholas? Are we a traitor Nicholas? Trying to figure out who you really are….Nicholas? You’re probably wondering why you are really even here tonight? Maybe this is a set up, but you have something I want….and tonight’s the night I get it from you. It’s inevitable…Nicholas.”

  As if Nick was meant to die like this, after trying to save his worthless values - or what he had left of them. But the blue suited villain confirmed a setup. From going to contemplate suicide in the woods, to walking in on a murder party that ended up being his own. Even with his friends present. A setup. His useless job, his unforgiving family, his girlfriend in the fire pit, and his best of best friends and others nearly killed him. A tragedy indeed. It was a fucking massacre. His whole life flashed before him, in and light fixtures.

  Nick looks at his right-hand girl who was originally trying to meet him there to talk about his dad’s turmoil and shit, maybe that’s why he really went there. Now she was in bloody rags and a bra. Gang banger thugs from every corner ready to rail her tight but fragile body frame. She was dying with a death rattle unlike your own which is muffled at the moment, hers is so loud it gives you hives and nightmares -

  Envision: This guy who stabbed you, once you die; is going to rape her eventually, kill your whole family in spades, [all torturous methods possible], and nullify your whole existence as you know it! And little do you know the lies about you BECOME REAL because you are dead and cannot defend your reputation. Setup or not, Nick just had this vision that the guy in the blue suit was going to kill EVERYBODY and ANYBODY he knew to get a point across…like some kind of cartel or mafia punishment. Your cousins and friends alike are going to be slaughtered in much the same fashion. Your father and mother are going to be ethnically cleansed with their families, as well – murdered in cold blood. Your confidants have just been murdered in cold blood. And the beauty of it all? Your girl is ruthlessly slain before your eyes before you are finally taken down and murdered, and you can’t do anything about it while this maniac is watching you in your final moments like it’s a joke to him. Nick realized it was over. He was desperately trying to get free, for his girl’s sake. As he cried, a knife was twisted and pulled out with a grin that mocked Nick’s whole life and ended his existence as his throat was slit ear to ear.

  Everything Nick was thinking prior to his death set, and last stand memories while being dragged all up and thru the woodlands...gone. Nick was gone. Ranic was dead. The Saw was no more. Nick suddenly heard a bunch of clicks “I guess it’s time to make some thunder…man this guy takes forever to expire!” Nick was taken off the stalk, crawling away….but someone smashed the butt of a 12 gage shotgun on his lower spinal cord. Ripsaw to these idiots was destroyed. The Skarecrow editorial and Nick’s actual nickname was maimed and mocked to a petty carcass now. Nick was mocked, now. His whole existence was a total failure and joke. While he reminisced, the ruthless man stuck a Swiss army knife into Nick’s testicles. “OUCH...” He falsely sympathizes, as Nick screams in complete agony… “AAAAAAHHHGGG!!!!!” The blood was still gushing from his slit throat, but the blue suited guy still stepped on Nick’s right hand “Is this the hand you whack with.” This cruelty was followed by an uncontrollable laughter BOOM! Nick’s hand detached from his wrist. Nick for whatever reason was still alive…hands and feet fucked up from the nails but he was able to gargle blood and rise to his feet. This was a miracle maybe? But not for long. “Hey Nicholas, let’s see how you do with my friends here. Your friend brought some of his Crip friends with him.” Six guys including the blue suited one unloaded rounds into Nicholas. The first blast blew his right arm off…Nick FELT THAT – screaming so loud his own ears popped. “Shit man, outta ammo.” One of the Crips laughed. “Hey dude, this guy’s still alive” pointing out as Nick was on one arm and his knees…bleeding to death and trying so hard to wince the pain away. “Ok, check out time buddy.” The blue suited guy desert eagle gun… Brain matter splattered all over some of the scarecrow stalk base, as most of Nick’s blood was battered into ditches and crevices at the bottom of the hill.

  The blood poured gently down Nick’s cheeks from the newly gashed cut above his eye. It flowed into his dimples as the self-righteous stranger enjoying this event lit a cigarette and dropped the match into the wooden base covered with gasoline. Nick’s body was engulfed in flames. Tragically, even while burning, nailed to this cross stalk thing, and shot to pieces with one arm missing via many shotgun holes and knife stab wounds to his body including the head shot….

  Sadly - friends, enemies and traitors alike watched in awe as Nick was torched to death in his own woods. Smiles. All smiles. Not one unsure soul. There was no cell phone connections. The eerie place knocked the satellite signal loos Granted, his friends who watched really couldn’t do shit, his girlfriend was about to be raped and murdered, and Nick was brutally murdered.

  Before it got bad, his friends ‘DID’ try to break the fight up, but Nick saw one unlucky kid get shot. Josh, 15, a sophomore. His friend, now on the ground with barely any life left in him - chose to muster up everything he had to run rather than plead for his life in the murder epicenter. He was picked up by friends nearby which all scurried away to higher land. After the gunshot, his friends all booked…all except for her. But regardless, Nick was left to die. In the end. After that one shot, they all booked and ran for cover. Was it cowardice or survival? Nick came to the conclusion that he would die alone.

  But there was a reason these sad souls were here that night. It wasn’t a coincidence; it wasn’t bad luck. One evil soul set it all up. And one evil soul was about to make the DEADLIEST mistake of all. The prophecy had been fulfilled. The would return to its throne of blood. Perhaps the blue-suited man was making the murder as gory as possible to create ? Perhaps this was not only a setup – but a bigger backstory than expected??

  The legacy had come true. The discovery of eternal life was anew. The demon would be awakened again through the soul of another. The kids of despair ran for the hills knowing they were in deep shit unless a miracle happened. Unless Nick survived. But after the shotgun blast, it was futile. There was a change of plans as the rain loosened the soil in the ground just enough to drop the blazing figure over down into the muddy banks of the ‘Hill.’ The blaze burned for an hour. A monsoon of water rose and consumed Nick into the eerie woods of Frontier’s flooded side, with a mist described as a ghost fog that layers a bog of death. That lifeless figure, whom was to become the bringer of death in Hamburg, was now stuck on a flood dam. A whispered voice hushed out into the wind. “Sooon.” This scarecrow figure rushed down and through the dam and down the river into water that froze long enough for the snow to cover it. But due to the river’s rage, the kids who went to find the body were screwed. No body? No evidence. Good but bad. Good because it’s the perfect murder. Bad because he may not be dead...walking evidence. Should Nick go to the authorities? Police drama for them, ya know? The Crips pretty much after doing the deed didn’t want anything to do with it no more and vanished into the night. They made their point, and the main kid who blamed Nick for hitting on his girl KNEW this was going to end ugly, including the Hungarian who LIED and accused Nick of stalking the one girl who actually was his friend. It was just to rile up the other thugs to beat Nick to death.

  But even in a lifeless body, there is still a soul burning within. Just dying to live again. To breathe again. To kill again.

  Nick goes to Hell. His own Hell. His life was a total mishap, as is created. Nick’s soul is on trial for more than he can bite or chew. But he was tormented during his life. Only a demonic mind can explain this deadly cataclysm of faith. His tragedy has somehow given him something special – his supposed death has made him invincible! And so, a realization was made that night.

  The next morning his dad enters – “Good morning, Nick.” Said his father amusingly. Robert Reiko, his father who had a different name than Nick due to legal shit, pulled the covers off Nick’s mattress - “Come on Nick, I know you snuck back into the house last night!” All was quiet, still. “I know you’re here?” And would remain quiet, as Nick’s dad left for his workplace confused at the Bradley Village apartments’ maintenance garage, shocked his son wasn’t home yet. Yet, also not knowing his son had left for good. In death. But that didn’t stop him from worrying, albeit 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning.

  Nick’s grandma, his Nana, heard the disturbing news at six in the evening that same creepy night. The newscaster spoke of a ‘Fiery Tragedy’ at the Frontier School grounds the night before. She called her grandson to see if he was involved in any way with the party that burned the high school's lights down. A rough crowd followed Nick and his Grandma knew this. His dad was just in a daze, knowing that his son was probably inside some friend’s house smoking up. Marijuana was Nick’s life in his teen years. If it wasn’t the bud - it was the clubs he snuck into. So, his dad figured he was just toking it up in someone’s basement. But in reality, he was lying in a creek, frozen firmly behind a cement bridge inside a trailer park resort. Most likely Eagle Crest. His Nana could not contact him, nor locate him. His dad was finally worried after 48 hours and called the cops. No luck.

  Now...two months have passed, and the thawing out of the creek left a cold corpse to float about and be recycled through the sewer system back to the Hill. Funny of course no one saw the body. Snow covered the body and all, so he looked like a snow mound. No evidence of a scarecrow. Maybe a snowman? It was the miraculous spirit of the land that had brought the corpse which fell over back around the sewer system, down the canal that connected to the lake and flooded back up the creek to its original resting place….in the death bog again….February 21, 2003.

  His stalk magically stuck itself into the ground at the top of the Hill’s apex. All the kids who knew of the beatdown did not realize Nick was dead. Well, they did…they just wouldn’t say shit. They were scared. While some who didn’t attend that night’s horrific events didn’t believe it, and thought he was a coward just like he would normally be. They figured he was badly bruised and was running around making up excuses not to come to school, or some bullshit or dodging the truancy officers. Some of his friends really didn’t know about what happened, only a select few witnessed or ‘heard’ the gunshots. No one knew he was beaten, stabbed, tazed, shot and burned.

  There were two groups of people there that night. The bullies and the killers. The Bullies included the Hungarian. The Killers – the Crips - now those were the real people he came to fear. The ‘bullies’ and jocks came to beat Nick up, but the ‘killers’ and gangsters were the ones summoned to put Nick down thanks to a contract on him from somebody who hated him ‘hint hint’. The gangsters and the backstabbers were just a nice topping on the cake. They were also the deceiving sons of bitches whom fucked him over and now had to die! They set it all up. They ALL had to die now. And the kids at both participating schools did not show an ounce of sorrow nor empathy. But they also didn’t know he was burned! Yet it doesn’t matter, now. It’s on!

  Even his friends figured Nick’s loudmouth got him in deep as usual. But murder? The other kid who was shot – Josh - was only shot in the shoulder. He lived to tell like the other young kids that Nick was beat up. But that was it, he was scared to tell more. So, Nick is really not dead to them, just running away from his problems. His friends just kept telling themselves that out of fear until the body was finally discovered. Well, maybe not the whole body, but his tongue and teeth at that. Whatever rotted off.

  This February night grew colder….His body was encased within heavy foliage into a big luminous, darkly shadowed tree at the clearing - the true ‘Tree of the Dead’. His body rotting, only remnants of his body revealed - the Hamburg police closed the case.

  Back on that original night the news broke – which was Christmas Eve 2002, When his Nana saw the news…. “My Nicky!!” she instantly fainted. Wide struck panic swept his family, and the area. His dad wept as well trying not to show his weakness to his ex-wife. His dad just couldn’t believe his son was killed so maliciously. Nick’s family could only presume Nick was murdered, even though no body was found, and no witnesses would come forward. The news and police finally put two and two together a few days after, calling it a homicide. A month later, on January 24th both quarreling parties (his mom and dad’s sides of the family) eventually rejoiced after they finally got along with Nick’s death at the funeral. Albeit no body was every recovered, there was a very slight sliver of hope, his DNA was scraped off of a rock found near the clearing by the Hill. Circumstantial evidence…but no body was recovered.

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  The coldest of the months, but his grandparents stayed strong. His (Patricia) and his Grandpa Phillipo DeLuciano finally moved on, throwing out Nick’s pictures and sorting out the newer ones to their daughter, Nick’s mother. It was too hard for them to keep them.

  His uncle Fio DeLuciano, his mother’s brother, was displeased that his nephew’s life ended so soon. He tried to direct Nick in a better direction, but it didn’t work. Nick’s Uncle Ray Reiko realizing Nick didn’t actually threaten him so long ago, and felt sick to his stomach fearing he was so wrong about that for so long. And he would now be forever in debt to never be able to say sorry for believing the wrong people. However, little did he know (or entire family knew) Nick made a protection web before his death just for fun….which actually is quite real at this point to protect his familia. Like a safety hex in case something did happen to his family. The death of his family before he died only came in visions, so he prayed to protect them, if his killers followed suit and went after the.

  His uncle Ray’s wife, Judy, and their sons, Nick’s cousins John and Rob, were sad yet had the sickest and funniest feelings that this was bound to happen. Like as if they saw it coming - like fate. They knew firsthand that Nick was not perfect in bad situations, or with bad crowds. Nick had a lot of problems in his life. The Macedonian Christmas’s and Easters would be very odd without Nick’s oddball comments. The dinners for Christmas and Easter at his grandma’s house would be different now that Nick’s crazy and sick gestures would not fill the holiday air. Nick’s Uncle Frank and Aunt Suzy DeLuciano felt odd as well when Nick’s nerdy voice didn’t greet them at the Christmas macaroni dinner in his grandma‘s basement. It was a dark time without Nick.

  Nick’s friends Ben, Adam, Mark, Peter, and Kris big “Gaga” from his original school (who supported Nick in his ‘clownish efforts’ to spiff up his practical joker stand-up career in Nick’s senior year as a stand-up comic at the school talent show), also forgot about Nick in a couple months. They just figured Nick died at the party in a suicide attempt that actually worked, or was murdered inadvertently. They weren’t there ironically, just the younger friends he made in the past. And they forgot about him too. However, they were all but comfortable, though.

  As insane as it was….his cause of death was as a blood poisoning that led to him burning himself. The poison he supposedly took made him lose it and kill himself like temporary insanity, and . No knives, no blood, no shotgun shells…NOTHING. How was this possible? Other speculations were that he may have tried to take people down with him or attempted homicide because his friends got hurt that night. But even his friends were not stupid. Ben suggested a toxicology test again. But when they all split up, they were not scared to visit his burial. Even his old pal Dillon and his grandmother, knew Nick did have caring parents and would not be so naive to kill himself this way. Nick was cool, not suicidal. So why would he do such a thing?!

  The question remained. His friends enjoyed taking the old crew up to the spot to pay their respects. Even though they think Nick is gone, he’s still listening. Maybe not in person - but in spirit. His friends began visiting Nick’s death site in February 2003. It was a token of respect, since Nick was usually the one who was a lookout for their little posse of mirth. Dillon’s ‘ma’ on the other hand, did not see that Nick as the only innocent one out of the 5, at first, but the primary culprit. She saw Nick as different. He was special. A fighter. She and Dillon never thought in a million years that Nick would leave like this. Not that it matters, now. Nick is dead. But in a spiritual way, he’s not. Nick’s extended family like his uncle Dave and aunt Judy Tatum, aunt Faye Pringle, uncle Bill Pringle, aunt Caryn Wise, his aunt Katie Simms, and his aunt Barbara Wise - were all discombobulated by the fact that only Nick’s teeth were found. They were in the mud and blood near this huge inferno where Nick either died or disappeared. It just didn’t make sense! And suicide or homicide? Really?!

  A search party went out from Christmas Eve until February 21 but no leads nor luck. However, the search continued from Hamburg’s finest not giving up and extending it beyond St. Patrick’s Day.

  During the grieving period, His old friends Jack and Lisa Bates were also in denial but just said that’s life and got on with it. They had to accept it. Nick was gone, but no more than a prisoner in hell at this point. Yeah, he tortured his pet cats by garbage bag twirling and washer/super soaker assaults. But it’s not like he did it for a living, or on purpose! His death was a large price to pay for such a petty crime. Yet evil begets evil. Especially when he was completely against killing. Nick hated being mean - and his cats usually got chased with super soakers every time they pissed on his sheets or sprayed his pillow. So, you’d be mad, too!

  But anyways now Nick was on an ultimate trip - walking on a pot leaf in his mind. A big green-red pot leaf. In his new purgatorial home, he realized this visual epiphany was really his drug abuse that actually killed him. ‘Something’ drew him there, whether it ‘was’ the drugs, maybe it was to meet and talk about it with his girlfriend, or maybe it was his na?ve nature that allowed him to fall prey to the ones who had him ‘got.’ The echoes of his former life haunted him now…He amounted to nothing in his life. Depression was an ongoing occurrence for this kid. His life really was a joke! While reminiscing, he realized his savior was in the form of a giant saw. A rip-saw (which technically killed him (set him free) when it sliced thru him in half almost - at the ‘spot’: The Hill.) It put an end to his pain. Nick was in denial and angry that night. His stress level rose to a high so menacing - that ‘thank god’ he could do no more than inhale the nearby Maui Wowie substance that was scorching thru the air with its bittersweet greenish-red accent. It somehow enlightened him before eternal blackout. Before the gunshots. Before the void. But either way --- The Saw was officially dead. The scarecrow-like nicknamed kid that once embraced Hamburg high school with his gawky, squeamish manners --- is now inside a rotten tree… decomposing. The darkness was infinite, immortal, forever. Insanely ever after it seemed.

  , Nick’s sister is very skeptical, believing that Nick will return. She hopes that he really was insane and only faked his death as a sick prank. Unfortunately, his other friends Chris, Tom, Rudy and Jarek (Sister’s ex-boyfriend), Celine from Angola, and this Andy kid moved on. Andy Kirby, a kid Nick knew from high school, was in denial and tried to cut off all connections with the family after an incident two years earlier at Nick’s house when Nick was 15. When you mix alcohol and bad jokes sometimes friendships go sideways. However, Andy was still sad Nick was dead. As for Chris and Tom, they all figured Nick was resting in peace. Erik, Jeff, Frank, and Nick’s close pal Derek (whom Nick had his back no matter what) all heard the sick news as well. There was a very tough downward spiral happening in the Town of Hamburg.

  Au contraire, even though it didn’t look like it, Nick was there and did have their backs. These kids were all pals, keg parties, beer drinking, and everything.

  His vice principal always tried to stop Nick from throwing parties. Nick was out of commission as a hero for his select and few people, the authorities never gave up on him as a prime suspect in underage drinking and cigarette smoking. But we won’t go there. The real crime was letting his buddies who were a year younger than him watch those R-rated movies at the Regal.

  Nick and the crew were all still affiliated with each other, but the good ol’ days were over. His death really fucked a lot of people up. Some things just got buried with the Saw as well.

  When she was younger, Nick’s sister was forced to go to court for an incident that involved this Thomas kid who was put in jail after she testified. His younger brother Fallon was cool as fuck, though. Thomas was cool, too, back then. The thing was, he decided to put a hole in Nick’s wall. Horseplay, ya dig? Nick and Shari tried to lie and cover it up. But it was too late. Fingerprinting threw that in the hole. It even made Nick unwelcome to the Hamburg community near homecoming night when he switched schools for half the year. Thomas was drugged up on codeines and wanted to attack Nick.

  He had an anomaly in his bloodstream. Blood that was not human. Nick isn’t a troublemaker, so peace was soon made. Thank God. Big deal, I wanted to be cool. Who doesn‘t? Nick settled down, but for what? He was not against thugs, nor against wiggers. Whatever the status quo ya know? Nick wasn’t against much. But that’s Nick.

  Ironically, it was this kid’s girl that blamed Nick for liking her. He really didn’t like this kid’s girlfriend anyway. He was just a nice guy at the wrong place at the wrong time. A nice kid who was ready to shoot down any accusations - anywhere. Or get shot himself! But the setups always seem to overrule. This one kid stalked poor Nick over a girl. A girl! Nick has a knack for saying the weirdest stuff. And one day, like many days, this kid threatened Nick because he asked his girl out. Nick was too shady to ever like a girl who was a trick – or just too smart for that shit. Especially one that was a trick to him. Nick was too smooth. And above all – it was a setup.

  Spoiler Alert, she thought Nick was obsessed with her. I don’t think so, honey lmfao! My mom set the wrong example for women and girls alike when she divorced my dad. It took me a while to build up confidence again or trust the opposite sex. I know my mom loved me, but I just felt bad that my mom and dad split over money. Why is it ALWAYS over money???)

  ANYWAYS, this was always the status quo for me. I was not God’s gift to women ya know? Well, it didn’t matter anyways. At least I think she died….I blacked out before I could remember. I wish I could see my girl one last time….But anyways, I’d be damned if I cheated on her. If I liked a girl, she’d be mine. Minus the dorkiness, I did have some degree of confidence. Ironically, the girl I admired at Hamburg High was this Sonya girl on the cheerleading team. Ha! Hell, going down memory lane….I used to actually really like this one girl Petula. She worked at Red Robin. I used to dish wash and cook there for scrap money before I got shitcanned for smoking weed. Kim and Elena were cute, as well. But Petula took the bait - she was soooo beautiful. But again, Nick Ranic is chicken shit to say a word to her. No matter who I liked, I either would shut down or I’d get confused as to what to say or do. Again, Nick is his own worst enemy. I am my own worst enemy.

  Back to football and fuckery- these kids would talk shit and squeal on Nick for no reason just to watch him get his ass get kicked by the heavyweights. Nick was only trying to make friends. Remembering a classmate snitch on him… “Yeah Nick went to his girl’s house instead of football practice!!” Yupp…got sacked mercilessly that day. I skipped one practice….oh fucking well!!

  No one! No one!! No one cared about Nick’s problems and efforts for joining the team to be recognized as a team player. Trying to turn your life around? Play sports right – become popular right? So, no pure effort. Big deal, right? You don’t play to your fullest ability – not a problem, right? Wrong!! I never heard the end of it. Football’s a sport, not a military thing. So, who cares?? And I really couldn’t play anyways that year, I cheated in 2002 when I was merely 17. Why, y’all ask? Well, big news flash! ‘Nick was hit by a big carrier coach van one day and wham!’ He was knocked unconscious for a while. Ironically…the handicapped bus. Nick, I was originally supposed to be dead that dreadful day. But against his physician’s will, he signed up for football practice anyway. Good times! And his back would never be the same again, unfortunately. Messed up from the neck up. He paid dearly for his sin - of what you ask?? Crossing a red light that was really green. It’s not my fault I had on red shades. (fuck you go ahead and laugh) *middle finger emoji*

  Go figure. Going to two different schools was a bitch. And I hated it. It came down to not participating with kids who hated him anyways. Hated me, in actuality. (Not everyone, but enough to call it unfair.) Nick’s earring was yanked out from a tackle; he was stripped of dignity for six weeks until he quit due to grades. And it was grades. A 32 average in school is no way to play. And yet Nick was broken enough by the cowards who taunted and belittled him in the hallways saying he couldn’t take it no more so he quit. Wouldn’t you feel like you were wronged?! I did.

  Nick Ranic is dead. His old acquaintances a fading dream. His closest friends off to their first year of college. And the young guns (younger generation) still trying to stay well off and graduate high school. After the funeral, some were still in denial, but most finally accepted that Nick was gone. His other new friends from Hamburg like Lindsey, Morina, Gina, and especially Roxanne (who helped Nick with math), who definitely knew and missed Nick were all really cool. The teachers, all of them, were special. Thanks to them Nick believed he could finally get his diploma (lol).

  But his worries are over now that he is in another realm. Nick’s close people like Ryan, Adam, Pete, (his crazy friend), Jesse and of course Reza, (his walk home buddy) were all rough, funny, but equal friends of the Saw. Friends of Nick Ranic. Honorable friends. Even Marty Cage, my old hoops neighbor (who I always played that good ol’ sport of Basketball with) - would always wonder about his buddy Ranic. I mean I was kind of popular in a sense. But after my murder….not so much. It was like Nick never existed to them, now! (sad emoji)

  Nick’s other friends Ned, Bart, and Alex from his computer class were also close to him. They understood Nick’s problems. His horrifying issues at home and ugly dilemma of not fitting in socially were only a few of the things they noticed with the pre-mortem Saw. And plus, comforting at first was the fact that they were not such jerks, neither. But as always, numerous enemies loomed in the area. You’re never safe in the Saw’s lair, aka his school. And rule # 1 is you can’t trust anybody. But with nice girls like Laurie from the restaurant and Jen Masters from his other job - you can always count on friends in lonely places when eating breadsticks…or bottomless fries lol. In other words, you never have to worry about seeing the light go out when these rare and certain wonderful people are around. You give Nick a minute of your time, he’ll give you the world - and still take a bullet for ya! That’s Ripsaw’s stand - are you in good hands??? (I never get sick of that rant when making friends).

  The school was his lair. My Lair. It was his hideout. My Hideout. His way to see friends at a close distance, without travel. But now his lair is transformed into a killing zone -

  The Hill. Aside from all the drama at Hamburg, other things nagged at him in his purgatorial jail cell. The thought of this girl Emily, a 12th grader, popped up vigilantly. She and her brother Bob and his other pal Tom befriended Nick in Hamburg’s school system. They seemed to beand go places when they put their minds together. Good peoples. Good examples. And good times at the wooden playground when we were kids…now made of iron. How time has changed.

  Oh how memories fade in and out when you are in a death coma……..Good times, and bad times. Unfortunately, once upon a Hamburg fairy tale - Nick happened to like this ‘other’ Hamburg chick Delila BEFORE HE EVEN WENT THERE. This bitch tried hooking up with him (me) and it was ugly. This was a year before Nick is set to go to Hamburg High. She was enough to make him come to school high. Total Bitch. Nick found her out thru ex boyfriend Benny from Orchard Park Operational…. an alternative school. Nick was Benny’s boy, they were extremely close. They were the best of best friends. Through fist fights and all.

  However… this one particular girl named Moira who Ben knew and introduced Nick to totally shot Nick down, and Ben didn’t seem to care at the moment. This girl could scream, too.(not a sex joke – she screamed in people’s ears like a piece of shit banshee white trash whore – like as a prank). Plus, her moms and pops were dirty cops. One word: SHIT. So much for good times with her. I kind of thank my lucky stars for not hooking up with her. But it still sucked the way it was all set up. When I was on the phone chatting with this young lady Didi until 4 in the morning, maybe 5, I was told to meet her and her nice friend at the mall the next day. She actually was nice, at first. I was the naive type but this ended it that day. I had to call them five times. When they finally answered they agreed to meet me at 11 a.m. My gut instinct told me to leave. But I held on.

  In the meantime, I saw this kid named Sherman Bradford whose mom used to date my dad.

  He was with a girl that I didn’t have the guts to introduce myself to. Since I didn’t introduce myself, she felt I was some kind of weirdo hitting on her with my eyes, or something. Yeah, right. I barely looked at her and she got really offended. But as usual, shit hit the fan and I got out of hand and started a fight with her. In my defense, she was mean. Then I called her a slut. Uh, oh! Big deal, now! Now it was a brawl attempt by her two thuggish looking male friends who wanted to show me a lesson in etiquette. They did, almost through a wall. I was alright, a little shaken up. But, get this: they befriended me later, (they wanted to hook up with some women I met aka Didi). Yes, the same girls I was to meet earlier. What a day!

  So, I called this Spanish girl a ho, right? Oh, slut, my bad! SSSORRRYYY!!! Not. Hey, you can’t just be a bitch to somebody and not expect him or her to retaliate. I fuckn’ did! I tried to be sincere until she hurt my feelings. I didn’t say a word at first! Ok ok Yes, I have or had feelings. I was merely making a gesture for her to stop being mean to me for no apparent reason. I guess slut wasn’t the word. Oh, well. How ‘bout - BITCH!!!

  Anyway, I booked and fled to find this girl Didi whom was 5 hours late. I called her 5 times; she was 5 hours late! Wow! I was sick of being treated like shit by the Mexian gril with Serhman. So, I left her to chill with her friends. Sherman looked puzzled. Oh, well. Again, another horrible experience with the younger generation. So, I go and find these bitches who stiffed me after the Mexican hoe incident.

  First up, I’m a shy guy. And on top of that, I was wearing red - all red. I like the color. But that doesn’t make it okay for them to try and ditch me like they did. I tried to consider what they were thinking – Is he a Blood or with the Red Hood Gang? You tell me, peopleI was in no shape whatsoever, nor in good health. In other words, I looked like shit. They didn’t even offer me a ride for me home, nor did Sherman on the other hand and he was my step-brother kinda.

  But this Didi girl bullshitted me on how looks and all are nothing. I told her I was a detached boy trying to find the right girl for himself. Her aura and mentality destroyed what little respect Nick had for women. She destroyed Nick Ranic. Permanently. I should’ve became a pornstar or something, or maybe a bartender/supermodel.

  Nick was now a little more frightening than his fair weather friend Damien or his rap-hating friend Brixley from football. Nick was evil. And evil was him.

  No love. And spell love backwards, that’s what I am.

  Back to these bitches - The chicks from the mall - were called on three-way one day by Nick’s friend Benny and Nick heard about how she had no intention of going out with him, or quite bluntly - a thing like that. She hurt Nick’s feelings when she kept screaming and pushing her friends into Nick’s face in the Hamburg hallways just to say ‘Hey! I’m still here and you’re ugly and I had fun ditching you!’ Yeah, what a bitch. This other blonde, petite girl whom I never cared to know was also with Didi’s posse. Her friend Mindy as well, during the school year, tried to be all nice to Nick and play Nick for a fool. Ha! The joke’s on them, though. Nick is dead. And when you’re dead, you get to plot... deeply.....

  Think of it this way: You all tricked me, so now I tricked you. Keep those frightening words in your head because it will be your last. When the time comes, you’ll all understand torment. Do unto others as they would do unto you. Hehehe. Yep. You can’t assassinate the dead. You can’t beat up the dead. But the dead can do all that to you. Even if you don’t believe in the dead, I will make you. Even from inside a tree of the dead. You all have sinned; made pure mockeries of me. So now, the joke’s on you! HAHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!! Suckahs.

  Nick went to Hamburg every day with a smile on his face, but frowned when things heated up for him in the fall. And that fall was no different, except that he now had new enemies. Those enemies were even more ruthless and relentless than the previous years. Reminiscing about his mishaps with the girls in his town, made him realize on that very same night he was ditched by the three bitches. He was emotionally hurt due to the fact that his dad didn’t believe a girl ditched him at the mall. She got him in deep. All this FUCKERY. And now, he was a liar to his father. This all pans out why Nick hates people and in general just literally hates all humankind. Law and Order is obsolete in his mind. Kind of like the time Nick was stiffed at his own house when he bought a bunch of groceries and party snacks/favors for this chick he met over the phone when he stumbled upon her pager number instead of the pizza phone number. She called back to confirm that she was not the pizza girl. HA. HA. HA. Funny scenario, huh? Not really. She called regularly until I invited her over. “Oh, hey Nick. Can I call you back?” Those famous words were also introduced to Nick in 8th grade by a mean manipulative girl named Jenalyn. Jenalyn and this girl could shake hands. They never called back. Duh. She was Nick’s first player. Just goes to show how I was immune to rejection. I...I’m alive!

  D.I.D. AWAKENING…

  But the joke’s on them! I make the rules, now. And the rules are, there are no rules. I laugh at Jenalyn and the other bitch because they are pathetic and weak. Like BIG Mindy from Hamburg, Didi and the other little whore. All weak, and unstable creatures. I mock them now, for they soon will perish, and I will live forever. Even if I don’t, I’ll still get the last laugh. Anyone who has ever hurt me physically, mentally, spiritually, psychologically, physiologically, or just plain emotionally will pay dearly. My blood boils vengeance. These are not threats. Only promises.

  So, go get your friends and so-called tough guys, your gang bangin thugs, your older brother and his big tough jock friends. Mere ants to be crushed!! I am a villain now, whom you’ve all created. PTSD (Physical Trauma Stress Disorder) which has branded a schism into my mind…. molded from D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder). I’m the next Manchurian Candidate of omnipotence.

  Whether you are a child molester, a corrupted city official, or just a militant/jock/police-law enforcing official asshole with authoritative supremacy issues; I am your greatest fear. Rapist, murderer, domestic abuse and wife beaters of all ages. No matter who you are, or what you do I laugh at you. Because I’m not like you. I’m better than you. Faster. Stronger. Smarter. More dangerous. More lethal. But most of all, a hell of a lot more deadly.

  I laugh at your bio weapons, your toys and tech 9s. Ak-47 junk. Hahahah! Your armor piercing bullets. Your nuclear radioactive shit. My ol’ green eyes do not deceive me when I see toys or gnats with muscles. Wow - You box, have a gun, a knife, and a killer whoopass attitude. You might be cocky….you bench 350, and are in excellent shape. You are the best basketball player around. You’re on High honors with your male superior attitude. No matter how manipulative or clever….you all are fish, tiny little fish. I AM THE GREAT WHITE SHARK. God is my only fear. And you all have hurt me to the point of no reconciliation. I know you’re all coming after me, when I rise again to hunt you all down. But that’s later.....

  The purgatory bowls have moved……I feel alive, NICK feels alive. These dreams are becoming more and more lucid. But I’m still stuck on this Lakeshore chick who just totally stiffed me! And this just pissed me off!! Royally. She said she’d call me back even after I was stiffed - this was just off the hook!! It’s little stories like that that made my life a bitch. I remember this one Lakeshore kid, my cousin Emmett Marly. We were the closest of allies with my other friend Bill until we separated for a while. Bill got busy, and Emmett worked a lot. And Emmett has numerous jobs. But I believe even after his brother’s accident, he got busier. I didn’t forget about him though. I know I did some dumb things with him (smoked weed and blew up a sandcastle with C-4 on the lake) I’m sorry. I can’t help that I’m psychotic. I truly wish I hadn’t of lied to him nor his bro. I tried to be the cool kid next door, but it backfired. {Fuck the ‘infras’. I’ll kill ‘em all. These ‘infras’ were infrared looking ghosts supposedly on the lake shores of all the local beaches. Never proven to be true.

  Anyhow, I try to be nice. Hence the word try. And Emmett’s brother, Mack knew it. He caught me in so many lies, though. So eventually I gave up lying. It was wrong, and I feel like a knucklehead for it. That goes to my neighborhood friends and enemies and even manipulative fake ass frenemies who ice balled me one day. I’ll rip their limbs off eventually.

  I’ve done stupid stuff. Like I said before - When I say ‘I’, I mean myself, the uprising demon that nobody ever knew. The one that will seek vengeance and rise to power in the Hamburg and Buffalo Bi-state area. Perhaps I was behind my own killing at the Hill? Lol. Perhaps I was the blinding driving force behind Nick Ranic’s murderfest. When I say ‘he’ or ‘his’, I mean Nick Ranic, the dead guy whom is evolving into a newer species. The once was that WILL BE MORE POWERFUL NOW. However, much stronger than the latter, and cleverer than the former.

  Nick - let’s talk the worst, shall we?? Nick was egged one Halloween and snowballed by some ruthless punks, snowballed by a mean kid named Preston and his supposedly untouchable clique. Had I evolved already, I would have gleefully killed him, and laughed while doing it. But I just laughed at them because when they messed with me, they messed with my friend Petey who was a specialist in all areas of militant weapons. Hoo-ha! My kinda guy. The only reason they got away with it was I never gave the word. I gave them a second chance. A rarity in my case. And it worked. I matured, and became better friends with Preston. But as for Petey, Real balls of steel on him to take out the trash in town, i.e. the assholes and bullies - No fear whatsoever with this guy.

  Some days are meant to be bad. Like the day my sister’s friend Biff tweaked out on everyone one day. It haunted close confidants like my ‘old school’ friend from St. Sasha’s church hall, Jenn. She played acoustic bass with me at numerous church concerts. We also hung out with her sisters Clea and Maven at their house in Lackawanna. We chilled with their boyfriends Tom and Jerry.

  I got high one day at their house, but my sister was led to the basement where she and Biff were supposed to hang out with these two dudes aka Tom and Jerry. To this day my sister is scarred because of this incident. She had been forced into unwanted shit by Tom and Jerry and Biff who had led her there. But Biff was pist because only my sister was supposed to take part in this – but Biff was forced into it too.

  My sister isn’t a nark, and what happened that day will go down in terrible history forever. My sister ended up whooping Biff’s ass later so cool beans and hats off to her. But life goes on, ya know? If I changed time, I would have gone there alone to ensure the brotherhood and friendship that was never meant to die. As for Tom and Jerry, they are kind of two peas in a pod in wheelchairs now. I’m loyal like that to my family.

  No matter what. And as time went on – many other buddies of mine throughout the years like Mark, Dillon, Pete, and Even big Kris came to my aid whenever, wherever. They were my Sawz. My Boys. My Brethren. I needed them more than ever in times of despair. Ironically Sawz wasn’t the only name of different friends I named in my circles…I apparently had numerous gangs I created in Hamburg.

  So now you’ve seen some dirty shit that Nick went through, that I went through…..and a bit of my own psyche. However, Nick found prosperity in his church for a time.

  Back to my life story. In the interim, Nick befriended 3 kids. These kids were Derek, Kateryna, and Raven. There were more, but they were special. Their parents and them were close friends to the ‘SAW’. Moi! These kids were cool but of course, Nick didn’t have any clue who Derek really was or until his original senior year. All his friends from St. Sasha’s dancing club were hiding things.

  Revelations were made. Nick didn’t know who they really were until he was supposed to complete his final dancing career year at the St. Sasha’s Church. I danced to folklore music taught by a Serbian instructor. Anyways, a bittersweet sorrow indeed. But it didn’t end so easily. I went one more year. Can you all spell super senior?? Yep! lol But for a reason, though. Mostly to act under shady motives and hide under ulterior ones that led to my rebirth.

  Anyhow, Nick found out that these kids from St. Sasha’s were no more than the nicest kids aside from party fiends inside the St. Sasha’s church hall scene. From 1999-2003, they all were considered the shizo! In other words, not one of them was boring or shady. Many fun drinking times...ahhhh memories.

  Nick liked attention, ironically, that’s all he was missing. Nick loved to be showered with attention, even if it was negative. It was hard to be a shadow wraith when there was an atomic energy of love around you…. Even out of church Nick thought these kids were cool. Nick wasn’t the genre of straight A students, but he was still just as wild. Nick originally was a shy, timid, but unusually mildly mannered kid. Later he became a loudmouth. His mind bent out of shape a little, he craved it. Attention. And soon he began to say a lot of defamatory things one year while hanging about in the 8th grade road trip to Monroeville, Pennsylvania,’98 with the church group. I was 14 during this crisis.

  He saw some hot girls down there but never got anywhere. Again, I was only 14. So down on his luck he picked a hopeless fight with this one girl. Carter. Damn, she had a sharp tongue. But mine’s sharper, just like my katana. I never miss a swipe. I all started because I wanted to hang out with them, but when you are not popular or your parents aren’t in the church administration club, you tend to fall out with everybody. So, long story short, what started with ‘yo momma’s jokes’ ended up in a full blown 30+ teenager brawl atop an old chapel balcony!

  And when I say I lost in the verbal spat barnone? I mean Damn I was reamed a whole new one that night! He (me Nick) had tough times with Carter and her sister as well, like a church patron rivalry or something. The popularity struggle was real. Why weren’t they like their parents at all? Peaceful. Yeah right, her mom was an asshole. I just wanted peace.

  But let’s see the real side. I was a apparently dubbed a psycho by the kids there at church and was ultimately cued from the clique because I was a jackass. I would have fist fought Diggs and Stan, but then Carter would have won the battle anyways. I had to win the war. And an uncool one at that. (Popularity war) My appearance was mostly shady at that, and weary. I made people nervous. But I always somehow got the crowd to laugh - at me. Perhaps it was my pseudo-mind’s disability…C.A.P.D. (Central Auditory Processing Disorder…with a sprinkle of autism). My disability made me fair game to bullies. Even my own people in my neighborhood made fun of me because they could. Well, the old neighbors did….Too bad I wasn’t a terrorist. Fuck ala, I’m in it to win it. To hell with virgins promised, hit men assembled, and people being bleeding liberals. If I die for any reason, it’ll be for Vengeance!! Always remember, the joke’s on you!! And my appearance will always slate it well. (Oh…and Bipolar).

  (SELF AWARENESS…………Demonic D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder) creeping into full throttle now. The actual Scarecrow’s unlimited power is lacing into Nick’s memories now. The Rant is Real).

  Ranting….

  Always in red. Always untouchable. I’m a commando of rage. A killer on the loose, but for a reason. I am the new godfather of my block. Ruthless and relentless as one ever could be, I take no prisoners anymore. I’ve had the last say and the last word. And it’s ‘you all die’ should I be threatened once more. I do have allies, and all. But my allies may also be my new nemeses! I can’t trust anybody. (As Facebook says Bl-OCKED…I say… SN-APPED!).

  I am the Scarecrow, and I am coming back. I will be resurrected. I’m sick of everyone threatening me and my welfare for either no apparent reason, or for my big mouth. If you can’t find peace, then so be it. To my allies, they’re safe as long as they EARN my respect and protection. My heroism. But as for my enemies – IT’S ON! NO MERCY. Pure detonation on them.

  But as easily as I’ll swing into action to save you, I’ll pull out a .44 magnum and smoke you. Blowing my brains out, carving me a new throat, gutting my intestines, or sending a cowardly hit man hired for some petty cash to send away for me or get a fancy contract will do nothing but kill them, you, your family and send the entire earth into the sun. Like…your entire Friends list and phone directory…. and anybody who associates with you or bloodline linked to you…..

  Now how about them apples!? You can’t kill me! And as a failsafe…I can’t be killed regardless haha

  You want earth to orbit into the sun? Assassinate me. Whack me. Attempt to do that shit. You’re only killing everything, everyone, and anyone associated with you – aka on this planet. But don’t forget, whether you’re a sniper trying to rid me of the U.S. or just a good old mercenary Al Queda motherfucker trying to destroy American life, you all lose. All lose... Ha. The jokes on you. No matter who you are, I die - You lose everything. Everything. And as I sit down in the afterlife, thinking of all my sins and misdeeds, your souls eventually will come hurling through the gateways like a firestorm. I am the SAW. A secret assault weapon. And now honed with the caliber of mass destruction. Sidenote folks…My body is attached to the orbit of the sun and the earth. It’s a failsafe switch, if I ever do become mortal and die. When I die, and my heart stops, the orbit will cease to exist. I’m a once in a lifetime event – or Extinction Event waiting to happen. If I die, it’ll be in five or so days before the earth burns up. If you go underground, just think about it. The hot molten magma will melt your pentagonal fortresses and trenches. Do it, I dare you. Not that it matters, though. The sun is billions and billions of degrees. Do the math. If I live a normal life, I will pass this horrible and deplorable gene of mass chaos into the wind. If I die a normal natural death - not poisoned, suffocated, or buried alive; I will survive the earth. Or I might just kill switch anyways hahaha

  (THE TORMENTED DEMON’S DOUBLE-GAUGED GEMINI D.I.D. INFUSED MIND OF THE SCARECROW IS NOW IN PERFECT SYMBIOSIS WITH NICK’S PTSD MADNESS ENGULFED CONSCIOUSNESS…RANTING AWAY ITS TRUE POWERS).

  Should I even be maimed or de limbed to embarrass me or mock my way of life or living, I will self-destruct like a cyborg in a suicide mission. I bow to NOONE. Grant it, I did bad things in my life. But these powers I’ve been given have made me invincible. But think about it, would you still cross me? I have satellite hearing, and all six senses are even more acute of an animal. Actually, more to that of a predator or sport hunter. I’m no alien, but the next step in the primordial soup of evolution. You’ll all see. But that’s Ripsaw for ya’s. Bloodthirsty as ever. And here I am compared to Nick Ranic, the host to this species who was sleeping in my bloodstream for years now. Now the revolution begins. So, I guess I had to be put in place. (It just sucks that with these great powers, here I am restrained to this goddamn tree….).

  Back to my life’s misery…………In speaking of misery - Like this one kid Pedro from McDonalds. Believe it or not, I admired the tall dude. The only reason we fought or had rough times is because I hated to listen to him or others when it was for my own good. But god bless and to hell with the hardships these days. Ranic says fuck it, whether or not I am as dangerous as Ripsaw says. Or myself says. On the whole blow up the earth thing? If I am a global world planet conglomerate Earth ending detonator, then it will only last 100 years. Then the kill switch is obsolete. After that, I’m golden. My tenure with the human race is pure. I just might fit in! New World Order. No Armageddon Obliteration Doomsday shit, ya know? I don’t even know why I’m talking this shit, except I know I have all these super powers in me right now and I can’t even move to use them…..However – I can’t stop thinking about all the people that I was friends with…that I may never get to see again! Like I got nuth’n but love for my people Spencor and Marvin down my street that I used to collect comic book trading cards with. Or Seth from Hamburg whom loved to spar with me for fun at the local gym. I guess one way to look at life is this: the odds were sour dove against me until I defeated the odds by just going with the flow. Such as Seth was the man in Tae Kwon Do, and even though I got beat 9 out of 10 times in the dojo, he inspired me somewhat….kind of like my cousin Anthony who lived in Canada. I figured I had to be a fighter, or become one to survive this plight.

  But eye of the tiger never came to see me until I met the younger sister of my friend Naomi Benson. Samantha Benson – i.e.. Sammy, who taught me a few basics in basketball etiquette on the court. She was the little sister I always could inspire. My real younger sister isn’t so young anymore. She is 16, and I am now 17. My sister also drives me fucking nuts. Anyways, I’m not getting any younger. Rolled it on June eighteenth, 2001. Sloppy Seventeen. Sad now I am going to turn 18 inside this wooden prison that consumes me still….Still in this eternal crypt. Rotting. Waiting for some asshole to find my entire corpse….so I can rest in peace. Yet I still think I’m alive. I really must be stupid. (4th wall breaking yet again. Pathetic).

  My Sister Shari Reiko (Nowak if you count her new stepfather’s last name), like Naomi’s little sister Samantha, gave me what I needed to get back in shape and never forget who I am. Hope. The Scarecrow reality is a mystery to them, but the legend of the Ripsaw lives on in their memories and hearts. And now even in their actions. Such as whenever Shari argues to the point of self-aggravation, or when Samantha fights to the bone. And lord knows Samantha fights like an mma fighter. However, It’s Nick talking through them in spirit. But Samantha is a tough one, and not so backstabbing like many of Nick’s friends. Even Nick’s best of best friends could not even beam to match Samantha’s chivalry. Like Nick, a true hero at heart, just don’t fuck with her. And on me, too. Like anyone who pulls the thorn out of the lion’s paw, they get royal treatment. Even my friends like Bob and Evert and big bad Bret from my other biking destination - Martin Meadow, gave me hope. Scary. (Well, smoking destination). But I thrive on attention. It was a big

  accomplishment to ride that far in the day….high as fuck. All I looked forward to was seeing these guys because I had no other people to see that day. (no not using people..) Them and my older friend Donavan, who moved and lost contact with me, are all somewhere. Waiting to be contacted, again. My bigger friend, (no pun intended), Bret was always there for me after we got to know each other in high school. He thought me weird but was confused with fear. Just like the Czech club on Riverside. It was shared by Serbians and Czechoslovakians. The kids in the neighborhood were really something. Like…..shit talking something. But small world, I found friends there. Amazing, huh? But this club hung in there, with its Connecticut crowd and other familiar faces like Vato, Sara, Midstra, Niko, Shay, Mario, and of course Stella and her mom Pina with their cool dad Garrett. It’s all good. It was a landmark in time. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Though I’m a hundred percent Italian, it all went smoothly. My dad was adopted for the record, that’s how the name Ranic and Reiko came about. And No we are not in witness protection ftr.

  Any hoot, These faces definitely made a lasting impression on me. I looked up to these people for my own sake to save my sanity when I felt hurt, and some people there my own age like myself secretly drank and had similar problems. They just go to prove that life is worth living to fight back. Or fight for. (Nick realized he was gaining consciousness, coming free from the the other realm – i.e. he was coming out of his comatose nature and into ‘this’ world’s consciousness.) But I can feel for some of them because I am no more than a recovering drinker myself. I never drank until I was hung on my liquor for 2 years after my parents’ breakup. I was 16 and a heavy drinker already. I felt responsible for it. My mom left because she loved my sister more, so I conspired. Her boyfriend’s rules, her boyfriend’s house and world. I rank last in their world. I say fuck tarot readings! No offense to them, but my mom relied on them to see the future. What future? My sister and mom will always overshadow me. My mom says she loves me but it’s not real. Only so many times I can recall a sunny day in the breeze with her. I cry very so often and get no relief. I had to write a Valentine letter to her to express my undying love for her as a mother. SOOO, I can’t be picky anymore. Leena and Simon Nowak don’t realize it, but they will. I mean, she’s my mom she should, and I’m her kid. On judgment day, I’ll be pulling them out of the big bad vortex, not their biker friends or gang/military friends. It’ll be me! Only me! No one else. Everyone else will be flying into the green cloud of mishap when the war comes to a head. I’M THE SURVIVOR, NOT THEM.

  But on better terms, Jennifer Bradford my dad’s girlfriend is here a lot more after the divorce because she is with my dad and I live with my dad now. It’s hard being a teen, getting picked on, your parents split, aaaaaaaaaaand all you got is bent up rage from the world on your shoulders. (Even if you have no bills to pay as a teenager in distress). But, all that her and my dad did for me I seem to be falling into a struggle for who I can get help from these days. It’s hard. My brain is always so messed up. Oh! And I hate the people whom say I’m a goodie 2 shoe. I am not!! But I hate the choosing game. I love my step-mom Jennifer, my mom Leena and my dad Bob. Regardless. But it’s hopeless to follow my dreams in such a family love triangle. Like I said, I hold allegiance to nobody. At least not anymore. I hate all women who play men, likewise for men. No tough guys gonna turn my mind around. Especially after what I went through in the beginning. Or just recently. The fuckery is real! The beginning is the end is the beginning is the end. This goes through my mind 24-7. So what the fuck?! Why shouldn’t I go nuts?!!

  Love is a bitch, and then you breakup. I had love for this one girl who was into me but was also a bit possessive. Chante. She disappeared after junior ball. Now she lives happily somewhere in Las Vegas. We managed neatly, though. On the other hand - I had a girl just like her – Nina Demmers. We had a great time, watching the ball drop on New Year’s eve, and making out often back in 2000. But she molded me into something I wasn’t. A clown. And she was a clowness. We hit it off good at the Walden Galleria. One day we got sour. She said I threatened her but I didn’t. Well, I stole her cigarettes. I think I made a gesture towards her crowd like I was going to slice their throats. I should have, she cheated on me. And her friends were all conspirators to it. Scared is what they were at that table at Dennys, you don’t squeal on people for nothing. The cops had a field day with my temper that day! They told on me and got me in trouble. Well, Nina and me were extremely close before the breakup. After I cleared the threats up, we went back out. (YES, I AM A DUMBASS). Later, I had problems with these tough guy wannabes sitting in the lunchroom at school, trying to start shit saying I was a turbinhead. (Im Italian, no offense haters). I would have killed them, but I was too hungry. Pizza rules all. So the Joke’s on them - I’m 100 % Guinea Whop Daygo! And they were just a pile of kids without any common sense. So fuck em all!! I don’t care. Back to Nina, I don’t care that we broke up. We just didn’t click. I cringed at her for leaving me in a rush over a kid that she liked before I even knew it. Cheater! She says I’m weird, but she is the one who helped create my joker alter-ego. I was the victim. She’s weird, she watches Child cartoons thirty times a day. Weirdo. Odd enough, I was the one always trying to win the attention. Now I’m lonely for the moment. But god bless and forget’em. I met this new girl Neeka, before that Maxina, before that Aria. (Trending – bitches with first names that end in A…maybe they had Canadian parents). Being bi-polar and all, the new girl Neeka and me always argued. So eventually we broke up on good terms so she could go out with my buddy - Steve Masterson. He took her off my hands so that I could fix my head for a while. Which was a good thing. I needed a way to escape my emotional world of mayhem. Maxina couldn’t make up her mind who was a junior at this time. Maxine was more infatuated with school grades than our love life. Katrina my closest ex who became a loyal friend to me after our falling out with switch on the dot change to Maxina that I broke up with her for. I never had the guts to admit why I really broke up with her. I cried harder than she ever will know. I really liked her, but at that certain time I fought my buddy over her. I inadvertently thought she felt for Bart more instead of me. Then I started to feel as though she had more feelings for him than me overall – like no matter what I said she would ask about him when we were dating…. Downward spiral anyone? I went home punching walls and light fixtures that night and got arrested that same night. My bi-polar took advantage of me that night when I had to think about it. I had no clue what to think. Katrina who had feelings supposedly for my friend Bart, or Maxina who seemed to understand my dilemma in full. Odd math, but I thought I solved the problem - me! Some relationships were meant to die quickly. Like Amy and sidekick bitch Jenny. They played me big time. I got the impression they were two big sluts, and I’m glad I didn’t fuck them. I may have gotten std’s. UH-OH! The truth is out, bitches. Too bad. No matter what, they shouldn’t have played me, which was downright mean. Maxina my other girl earlier claims to have liked me, but Tommy Vicco my boy knows best. After Tom aroused her while we still had feelings for each other, she had no qualms about cheating on me with him. Though we were broken up, so oh well. Misunderstanding right. I laughed when she said she’d lose her virginity to me. Two virgins in the sack. A sick joke indeed. Because it would never happen, I’m the dork here remember? Dating in high school sucked

  FRIENDZONED. However though, I laugh at her because she was molested and didn’t have the guts to tell me who the culprit was. She knew I would hunt them down. Dork or no dork, I was an angry orca (not the whale’s dick) if somebody fucked with my girl. Well, that’s her….If any meathead/jock alike wants to get played, date this one. She’s flat, ugly and waiting in a bizotch store near you. She hurt me first, and now payback’s a bitch. Fuck happiness. Did Maxina or Lara and Aria from Frontier realize the pain they caused? Guess not, until now. I’m the victim, so fuck y’all. Do not start shit with me, I’m angry enough.

  Speaking out of anger, seemingly to Nick’s own angry self now…. Tanya my female friend, do not think your boyfriend or sweetie Parry will defend you next time you slander me in front of every one of my friends. I remember that dinner party at Dennys as well. I don’t take lightly to jokes anymore. You can’t just joke with me anymore if you are just going to slander or embarrass me ya know? You just cannot do that! I take offense to all, and all to offense. (Or…stick them on a pickett fence to impale them?) Anyways! Plus, I have that Central Auditory Processing Disorder Syndrome shit, I am terrible with sarcasm. I’m only funny and extrovert with my own people, but introvert and shy to outsider people!! So, making fun of me is your funeral. I can’t help it. I’m paranoid. You look at me funny, and I’m going to go insane. Snap. To gain my respect you must give it or cut off your awkward relationship with me. No ands, ifs or butts about it missy. Your brother’s ex may really like me, Tanya, but you may have made me look bad already. I cannot trust you, like many others before you Tanya. You broke the trust. Once I get shady of you, I am no longer existent to you. Why take advantage of a monster...Foolish? I do not trust Jack nor you. Mostly Jack for his undisputed ignorance just like his mother. Both can share the same jail cell of shadiness. Jack’s mother puts me down yet doesn’t know what I go through every day. I am no longer a trusting and cooperative friend of Jack. I am not his dog. You smoke pot, drink your alcohol with Chet, but still, I laugh at you. Pathetic. Chet has a life. You? You’re in the Air Force, but only for one reason. The love of a misguided individual. You can turn everyone else’s head, Jack. But I think you’re just chasing Melonie’s tail, whom you’d never have met without me silly goose. And plus, you’d never get laid without me! Ha. Ha. Ha. You’re a good friend to Nick Ranic, Jack. But Ripsaw thinks otherwise. Pffft, the rapper elite huh? Unless you freestyle something legitly sound or prove you are not pathetic as to hurt Nick’s feelings behind his back or use him for alcohol - forget it. Nick is dead to you as well. If you change the world will change with you. Save

  yourself.

  Oh, Laura from Frontier with her Mafia connections? You had me threatened. But just like you I’m a human being. And as you attack me for slander, of course in the form of the ‘Cosa Nostra’- I am a Sawlione. (real last name from daddy’s real parents). And not only do I have friends, but they’ve also heard your bicker behind my back, too. So, you take your dogs off me, and I’ll call of mine. Got it? Good. Hopefully the outcome of this excerpt will better our undying relationship. I will respect you, but only if you respect me. Capeech? The mob outfit has spoken.

  Remembering more drama, I recall when I was almost the victim. I was almost called the cops on for calling a supposed friend, Siri, one night after getting stoned and drunk. We define friend as a close understanding, respectful, and caring entity. I was all of that. But it turns out to be that I was had. More like setup. I’m 17, and calling another stuck up 17-year-old pothead is tricky shit when you just want to talk about issues you had with yourself. Mostly drug related. I brought weed to her house, and her parents went thru the roof and pulled a gun on me like some criminal. And than she blamed it on me and said she had no clue who I was. Sadly, this is the same person I used to talk about my Depression stuff too. Intuitively, but not morally because I was usually high when talking to her. After that incident, I fell out with her. It’s all up to her now to apologize. I got nothing but love but she did fuck up. And she’s mad for the wrong reasons, too. I mean, I didn’t sell her that shit I just smoked it with her. lol And she smoked it on her own and pissed herself – by herself – all by HERSELF anyways. Nobody said smoke a half pound of weed and watch Beavis and Butthead. Haha. Anyhoot….But burning Question are - what reasons? Wellll...hehehe. Exactly. I’m innocent! She wanted beer with her shit and I made her pay me $30 for it on top of the weed I brought her. What?! I’m a business guru. But I don’t blame her, I made up nicknames like she was the cat, and I was the clown. We fooled around as friends, and she was a good friend – until she pissed herself getting high. Friendzoned but lovn it. Maybe not. I’m not getting any younger, so I tried to have fun. Apparently smoking 2lbs of dank bud ain’t fun anymore. Especially when yer parents catch you laughing your ass off uncontrollably….pissing your pants as well like it’s the next best thing in the world!! And anyone who’s got a problem with that can kiss my dead corpse’s ass!! I had to go to Walmart to grab a fresh pair of undies for her….by myself….talk about awkward!! Apparently she pissed her pants laughing, and when she threw a 2 liter of Mountain Dew in the air which blew up all over her panty drawer – making me the fall guy to go get her new apparel!

  However…this girl Siri seemed to be shady at the moment thanks to her parents flipping the fuck out. I thought we were cool. GUESS NOT!! But hey, life goes on. Newsflash……..If you get busted for doing drugs, never blame the person next to you just to save your own ass. Dumbass. And take beano next time yer gonna shit yerself laughing at 90s cartoons!!

  Actually, lately, me n Siri, we found peace after 2 months of no talk. (Or maybe she just wanted weed again). I guess silence treatments do work. I always thought Siri and he brother Robby were good peoples, though. I respected them even before they became rich. I guess I wasn’t so vain. They, we, were all close friends. May Robby and Siri rest in peace. I hope they found their way to the light after our friendship suicide. I didn’t. But fuck it!

  I wonder how my cousins are, Johnny and Rob. They always seemed to puzzle me. Not in a bad way, but a competitive way. My own cousin Rob disliked me for a while until I apologized for my sadistic behavior. But if he were in my shoes, he’d understand. Rob always tried to get the better of me. Or bring out the better. He’s almost 10 years younger, 8 actually, but I laugh at him. He’s a younger version of me, he just doesn’t know it yet. A smartass, just like me! And he hates it for it’s the truth. For a kid, he’s smart, and can put 2 and 2 together whenever. But I still feel the congestion against me due to the rip down the middle of our family. My family videos are all I have to look back on my life’s memories, well aside the online videos posted from primitive cell phone shit. Er, former life’s memories. My other cuz John is cool with me, but I always sensed a tiny tension building up between us. Kind of like two ninjas playing hide and seek with each other, for it’s all in the eye of the beholder. What you see is not what I see. Aside all aspects, it’s not serious, but just like as if we can actually talk eye to eye. And the subjects we touch are actually realistic. Not so dumb like usual. I mean if you wanted to know what movies were coming out, you’d conjure up a great going conversation too. Comic Books for life. Too smart to touch, and too hot to handle. That was our motive when chilling together in South Buffalo. We were like two rappers from the east side of California talking about new albums coming out, but in this case, comic books, but we were white….and totally privileged. And maybe totally middle class.

  Normally I’m not in the mood for messing around, but usually my cousin as cool as he is, loved to kid with me. All we did was set up jokes, and other funny shit. Or he’d foolheartedly fuck with me, to put in perspective. I’ve always feared light heartedly that he would do something embarrassing to me. Like, both our humor is quite demeaning when left unchecked. I realized this when I noticed too, that John is a fragile being. Like me, he’s a Gemini. He struggles like anyone else and is anything but not lethal. Like mentally, Gemini’s are dangerous…two minds are better than one right? lol I just can’t see myself fighting an already pre-registered weapon. And defining struggling - like struggling with ‘what to say back when you know your comebacks will DESTROY the other person and make them cry. Wow, sounds like me, actually – yet I’m already registered and ready. I’m sure you can understand with all my wretched happenings. I can’t wait to be resurrected and verbally assault and kill mofo’s.

  On the death thing, I’ll get out of here soon enough. This….elaborate eternal sleep I am in. As for Family, life can be scary, even after the storm. This immortal storm of comatose lucid dreaming that never seems to stop in its cycle of doom. However, on the bright side, none of my family ever threw out any of my possessions, I mean as far as I know. So, like me, my Cousins apparently have style – and respect for shit. My whole family actually. On the Reiko side (or Ranic side as my personal Serbian adoptive last name implies, or Sawlione my actual Italian heritage last name implies) we can finesse anything we put my mind to. Or un-finesse it. Don’t fuck with us, right? lol

  On my mom’s side; Shawn, David, Christina, and the other cousins of DeLuciano await my ashes. Or whatever was left of me. Remember, I’m dead. But what I left in my perish was a clue to my family honor. Something is obviously special inside me if I am not dead yet…..I mean I know I am alive I can feel feelings so real! Something is going on inside me that I am not aware of….And my family…..I can still remember them. Am I just in a coma….or really dead?! My emotions are tantamount to insanity right now.

  The family DeLuciano is special. Like Sawlione, the family devine of Ranic and DeLuciano are both just as unique. Very close in D.N.A. from an ancient bloodline. But yet so distant enough to mate. (sorry no incest here but keep reading sick fuckers). Thus, the hybrid is me. RipSaw. Unbeknownst to my own self, Ripsaw was ‘just’ a nickname. However, was it? Was it more than its name implied??? And when I wake up will I even remember any of this stuff???

  Thinking deeper in his coma…..Nick tries to make sense of his death if it was indeed his death. Thinking ahead…..Should it be appropriate to make amends with all. Or do I ??? All these incidents through my life….very indicative as to figuring out who murdered me….DID one of these incidents cause my death????? And my bloodline and family tree was not even on my mind….until now - I mean, my grandparents, their siblings, my own sibling SHARI, and my cousins as a whole, and what not- are all connected, now. I am the offbeat center of attention. Or center of gene blend, for that matter. What the hell is going on with me????

  (Nick’s human-hybrid psyche is trying to make sense of everything, while his own inner demons still want to make peace ‘at least in his own mind’ with the ones who did him wrong. Killing wasn’t exactly on his mind yet….even though the demonic nature attaching to him was already there.) Ahem..yours truly.

  (THE SYMBIOSIS OF THE DEMON AND THE HUMAN-HYBRID MIND AND BODY ARE ALMOST COMPLETE. RESURRECTION IS AT HAND, REINCARNATION IS ABUNDANT.)

  The Summer Night was young…..and the stars were gleaming to a bright white full moon amid the Hamburg centered Frontier schoolyard near a local deli mart. Nick began to have some autonomy in his thinking…like he was able to break the programming that kept him in suspended animation aka comatose pure sleep paralysis.

  Nick’s lucid dreams grew more deeper…..In speaking of family…. my being was like a prize to my Canadian cousins Anthony, Lilianna, and my little cool cuz, Adrianna. They cherished me coming over when I could. I’ve been going there since a kid, so I loved it. A bit of my childhood up there in Welland, Ontario. It was a rarity. But even though I was usually twisted and antagonized by my cuz Anthony for stupid reasons, I got along. We were like cat and mouse. Anthony is mature, but I know better. He is my ace in the whole, with a do or die swirl at the end. Leave it to him to put the nail in the coffin if you needed backup. Unpredictable.

  I know my life was not sooo bad. But I am still in the limelight even after my demise. Nick Ranic is a dream within a dream of anybody who thinks of drama. All I remember was getting beat up, watching my friend who was like a sister to me get her ass kicked, my friends get shot or beat to a pulp…and then I got my ass handed to me on a Jesus stalk, like a real scarecrow (ode to that pathetic nickname I got at Hamburg High), and then burnt to a crisp. Honestly, the worst part was getting lit on fire…the torture and maiming was really just the cherry on the sundae. Getting Shot was the banana. And now I can’t wake up.

  This was bound to happen, because drama was Nick’s middle name. Now you see the dark side of the Ripsaw - or in the depths of the forests, The Scarecrow. A being tortured to death only to be resurrected into the epitome of evil. The scar on his left eye indicates his raw nature to live and let burn. It was now a symbolization of his true nature. He wasn’t reading into anything…in fact - There is no learning. That ended with the sad fact that to never trust anyone is godsend. Because to trust someone is to be murder. Nick’s spirit is free, in a deathly sense. But trapped as far as revenge. Now time has wittingly passed somewhat… it is June 17, 2g4, a year and some months since the S.A.W. (Saw) was slated to graduate but was murdered instead that Christmas vaca’s eve the previous year. Now resurrected in the year of the satanic industry or year of the Monkey. The death bringer’s b-day is tomorrow. S.A.W. is rising again – as the Scar/Crow incarnate.

  EX-PRESENT DAY 2004: Buffalo is in a heap of trouble, stocks are down. Elmwood and Chippewa are falling lesser and lesser in the population category for weekend stock. Crowds have dropped deviously in the past 3 months. Crime is higher than the police can control. Business is not booming like it should be, and a prediction was made that in less than 2 decades the Roaring 20’s will be back all over again, with a ban on vaping products, people wearing masks and no Al Capone or speakeasys this time around. But this isn’t 2020 yet, it’s only 2004, and the government is looking for leads on a new weapon to bring out for global control. Unbeknownst to them, A brewing evil has awoken in the Empire State today. The same day a hero has fallen, the same night a villain will rise. Vengeance will be served