Fate Deals the Cards Temperance

  Chapter 29

  Once Bitten

  I finally dragged my tired ass back home to my ladies, after one of the longest and most confusing days I’d had in a while. Exhausted and still blindfolded as the sun went down, I called my home forth from the endless void. I immediately began working to secure our only land egress with a gate of bamboo and cordage. With no small amount of satisfaction, I removed my blindfolds and surveyed my finished work in the still too bright light of sunset. My gate would delay a human with an ax for only a few seconds; but the local wildlife would have little chance of getting through. Naturally I was feeling pretty relaxed, now that the hedge and house were set up and the last vulnerable point of entry secure.

  The sound of female screams from the bath shocked me out of my confident reflections and brought my attention back sharply. Sprinting through my garden while drawing my war-club from the shadow of my ass-crack; the feminine screams were joined by a ferocious, bestial howl of agony. The muted clang of steel on bone met my ears, as I vaulted the hedge, straight into a scene of utter madness.

  A seven foot tall humanoid, with scaly green skin, lank, matted hair and long, ungainly limbs roared its fury at my wives and daughters, who cowered against the house, huddled around a tiny, bloody form lying on the grass. Thera stood between them and the creature, battling for her life with her long, slender sword of shining steel, extracting a heavy cost for every step it advanced. Fingers and toes littered the ground; dozens of long, gnarled, taloned appendages, way too many for a critter that still had a full complement of claws to swipe at my loyal retainer.

  Fresh, red scars and clotted blood covered its arms, torso and legs, while Sapphie’s pretty little spear jutted from its asshole, firmly lodged up in there and causing the monster no end of tushie trouble.

  While I rushed across the lawn, Thera smiled viciously and snipped three fingers from a taloned, slashing hand that moved not quite fast enough. The beast bellowed and retreated, even as its fingers grew back, talons and all in just a few heartbeats. Unfortunately for the creature, I was coming in from behind, with an obsidian edged cricket-bat and bad intentions.

  My heavy, nasty and deeply unpleasant weapon chonked into the back of its knee with enough force to numb my hands and send splinters, shards of volcanic glass and a spray of hot blood, just everywhere. My war-club shattered on impact, leaving me holding a hefty and splintery stub, with a few chunks of glass jutting out. Without bothering to check my result, I jammed the splintered, ragged remains of my club right into the monster’s already damaged belly as it fell.

  Thera swept in, pressing the attack and collecting a few more digits, while the monster scrabbled back, slashing and clawing at everything around. It moved awkwardly, dragging a mangled lower leg; held on by a few wretched scraps of gristle.

  Hot lightning slashed across my back, as I tumbled away from the wailing ball of blood, claws and fangs it had become under our tender ministrations. It scored a hit on me with one of those long, flailing arms, doing at least a little damage… if the burning sting along my flank was any indication.

  My prototype oar-shield slipped out of my shadow, since I had no desire to close with this thing or give it a spear. It was at least three times my mass and super lanky, giving it enough reach and strength to be troubling indeed.

  It also still had plenty of fight left, since it ripped the jagged remains of my broken club from its belly with a messy spill of guts and began stuffing the bowels back inside, while we advanced on it. “It’s a troll, sensei!” Thera called out sharply, when I didn’t press the issue right away. “We can’t let it heal!”

  Sure enough, the thing’s belly began sealing up while I watched, even with dirt, grass, a few of its own lost fingers and all those splinters mixed in… There were probably a few chunks of sharp volcanic glass in there too.

  “Gross…” I muttered, as we advanced on the maimed creature. Thera attacked, while I drew its ire by flinging some flint tipped, bamboo darts at its face. They pattered uselessly off its scaly hide, but nobody wants a dart in the eye… the little pricks were dipped in some nasty toxins too. It really hated that, so I was the belle of the ball, for the moment.

  I blocked a swipe of its claw with my shield, which was a mixed bag of successes and failures. It lost several fingers, broke its hand and howled with pain, when it discovered that my shield was super sharp and not suitable for grabbing. I went skidding several feet on my ass and collected a huge bruise on my ass when it hit me; because physics are a thing. In size, I resembled a big, human middle-schooler; while the monster towered over seven feet and weighed as much as a pro football linebacker.

  Thera saved my battered, bleeding ass; by slashing a long line of blood down its back when it reached for me, disrupting its plan to bite me in half. I rolled back in, taking a swift slashing run with my shield, just to keep it interested in my sweet, tasty backside and off my vassal.

  The beast was monstrously strong, while its elongated, weirdly humanoid shape made it deceptively quick and hard to counter or predict. It was also smart… at least on the level of a male goblin’s thinkin’ stuff, maybe a little more or less. I was fighting it, not interviewing it for a job; so whatever. While we pressed our attacks, it began to retreat and then flee, when several of my royal knights showed up, right on time.

  If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  The tiny gobbo girls made it absolutely miserable, hurling sharp stones with my latest innovation, the shepherd’s sling. The brats had taken the toys with glee and made a menace of themselves, taking small game like waterfowl and various tree critters. They delighted in picking skeeters off on the wing, since gobbos hate skeeters on principle. Any bit of waste obsidian, flint, pyrite or other pointy, hefty material that fell from my workbench had become sling ammunition for the awful girls and their terrible toys. They weren’t dead-eye shots, but ten of them flinging sharp things at it, turned the battle into a rout.

  The beast leapt over a hedge, splashed down in mud and muck then vanished into the night, still roaring with inarticulate fury. Left behind, were dozens of fingers, slowly twitching and flexing on the lawn and a slowly twitching lower leg, raggedly torn off at the knee.

  In the far corner, among my traumatized wives, a small, bloody form lay, unmoving. Sapphie sprawled there, her right arm wrapped in blood soaked rags of lord Whoever’s finery, unconscious, but still breathing, while Sara worked over her.

  “She will recover from this wound; now away with you, chief! This is a healer’s work!” The witch scolded me when I approached. “Guard us, lest it return; I will see to the princess.” She shouted over the creature’s long, agonized wail of pain and rage, slowly fading in the distance

  “I go kill it, then.” I growled, eager to finish the thing and come home.

  When I moved to pursue it, Thera held me back, interposing herself between her chief and the gate. “No… it will be fully recovered before you find it, or it finds you. This is not a foe we can face in the wilds.”

  She stood in my path, physically blocking me, to make her point. “Trolls do not fall to poison or drugs, heal obscenely fast and cannot be reasoned with. To kill one, its brain and heart must both be destroyed entirely… lest it grow a whole new troll from the remains.”

  “Really?” I demanded, feeling like she was pulling my leg or exaggerating the threat.

  “It’s true, chief Ghnash. Stay here and guard your home; or it will return to hunt you, or us.” Sarafina barked from her busy corner. “Sapphire will recover and the troll has been repulsed for now… Sit still until I can sew up that wound on your back. We must prepare for its inevitable return.” Sure enough, I was leaving a trail of blood in my wake… not a lot, but enough. Thera acquitted herself far better, coming away sweaty and exhausted, but un-bloodied; while I was feeling sleepy as the evening cooled.

  /

  “...is only normal sleep. He may awaken at any time.” I heard Sarafina explaining when I woke, as she predicted. Emmie and Saphie were curled up with me, watched over by Beryl. The poor dear looked exhausted and was clearly more interested in Sapphie’s condition than mine, which was fair; I was pretty concerned about the little brat, myself. I shifted a bit, trying to get a better idea of her state, without disturbing her. Sapphire hugged closer to me when I stirred, clinging with her left arm, since her right was wrapped in bandages and bound in a sling.

  “Move slowly, chief…” Sara mumbled quietly, scolding me just a little. “You heal swiftly, but it has been only a short time since your battle.” She carefully pried Emmie and Sapphie away and helped me sit up; her slim, aged arms displayed surprising strength. “It has fled, but will likely return before long, seeking vengeance. We must flee before it finds enough courage to try again.”

  “Flee?” I asked, as life began slowly trickling back into my limbs. “Nub, I Kill. Hurt Sapphie. Scared wives. Attacked home.”

  “Of course we will flee! A troll is not something we can face. We must flee its territory and hope it does not pursue us.” She declared firmly. “Put any such notions out of your mind, my chief.”

  At that moment, from a great distance a sharp howl raised in the night, followed by a few faint, but intelligible words. “Kill you for this!” The creature wailied its fury out into the night, startling birds from their roosts for a half mile.

  “Ghnash hates running. Has nasty idea.” I grunted and grinned evilly. Watching that critter stuff its guts back in, along with all that junk made me feel kinda queasy… and gave me a wicked thought. “Need time. Work to do.” I ignored Sara’s complaints on my way downstairs, plans and schemes roiling in my brain. “Call if trouble comes… and bring Ghnash troll parts.” I grumbled. “Toes, fingies, that leg.”

  I felt stronger, once I stood and got down into my lab to do a little witchcraft and build a new warclub or six. I had enough parts stored up to knock a few tricks together, since they had a tendency to break in use. These were going to exploit that weakness for fun and revenge.

  I got a little lost in my work, scratching and chipping at small, jagged lozenges of obsidian, flint and shell; really, just about any kind of edged or pointy object I had lying about got inscribed with a tiny curse rune and dipped in my home brewed healing ointments. Several of the sharpest and most jagged points got affixed to slim shafts of bamboo, with the creature’s own talons slotted into the shafts and coated with a greasy healing unguent for a foot or so.

  “Papa, whatcha makin’?” Sapphie asked sweetly, startling me almost off of my stool. “Why so many whomps and spears?” Her little arm was in a sling and splint; broken and slashed to the bone. Otherwise she seemed her usual self, if a little bit mellow for her.

  “Cursed. Nub touch! Many small curses. Morgul blades!” I cackled a little madly as I collected my finished projects into my shadow and patted my brave little girl’s head. I scooped her into my arms and carried her up the ladder into the main house. “Sapphie hurts bad?”

  “Nub-nub… Gramma Sara gave me a drug… I’m tired.” She purred, nestling into my arms and falling right to sleep. I tucked her into the chief’s nest beside Beryl, Emmie and Alba, who were all fast asleep in the early morning hours.

  /

  Ignatz the troll was having a nub-good, very bad time! All those runties and females were so close… if not for that cat and her pet gobbo. He’d had to grow back half a leg, so many fingies and toes along with whatever his guts were getting up to… It was a bad night, an awful day and he was still hungry. That runtie looked so sweet and tasty, too.

  Sunset freed him from the hasty, muddy burrow he’d dug in the marsh, when the sun rose, burning his eyes. Ignatz feared no swamp critters or pinchy bugs, he was troll, not a piddly little goblin… not anymore! So they feared him, instead. Birds, beasts and lesser creatures fled before him, or were devoured by his slavering jaws and endless appetite for meat.

  Hungry, sluggish from the cold, and blood loss, Ignatz squirmed down into his hidden nest and sulked, plotting all the terrible things he would do to that cat and her pet goblin man… Then he could gobble up all those girls and runties at his leisure. He sighed, gazing down at his limp, shriveled and flaccid cock, lost in his matted hair and filth, along with his shrunken, withered ballbag.

  “Rape would have been nice…” He sighed, missing his sex drive just a little. Torturing those girls before eating them would be almost as fun and scratched that same itch; in a different way, he supposed…

  /