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Chapter 44: Searching for Clarity

  Cel sat on the bed's edge, staring at nothing.The room was quiet. Too quiet. No whisper of ash settling. No distant tremors beneath the ground. Just the muffled sounds of the Academy beyond his walls - footsteps in corridors, voices too distant to understand, the creak of old wood settling.His fingers traced patterns on his thigh without conscious thought. Small circles that meant nothing.'The Reckoning.'The name felt strange in his mind. An organization that hunted corrupt Chosen. That killed those who believed power pced them above consequence.Noble work. Necessary work, maybe.But killers nonetheless.His jaw tightened.They'd voted on whether he lived or died like it was choosing what to have for dinner. Four votes to kill him. Four to let him join.'Would they have done it? If Veyron had sided with Draven?'The answer was obvious. Yes. Without hesitation. Esrin might have stopped them - or she might not have. The vote existed to prevent exactly that kind of conflict.His hands curled into fists.He'd joined an organization that had nearly executed him. That operated with the kind of cold pragmatism that reminded him too much of his father.'But they fight people like him.'The thought arrived with uncomfortable crity. The Reckoning existed because powerful Chosen abused that power. Because the w failed when divine favor was involved.His father had beaten him nearly to death. Had sold him to cultists that used him for their twisted experiments. Had done it all knowing his position in the Sun Cn made him untouchable.If the Reckoning had known…Cel's breath came harder.Would they have killed him? The answer should have been obvious. But the question wouldn't settle.He pushed himself off the bed and moved to the window.The Academy grounds stretched below. Beyond the walls, the street continued - cobblestones, shops, people moving through their afternoon routines.Normal. Peaceful. Safe.Everything the Hollow Realms wasn't.His reflection stared back from the gss - white hair, pale skin, eyes that looked older than sixteen had any right to be.'No Divine Energy.'The thought made his stomach twist.He'd assumed he was simply bad at sensing it. That his talent was so poor he couldn't feel what every other Chosen felt naturally. A limitation. A weakness.But the Reckoning had revealed something else.An artifact, they'd assumed. Something suppressing his divine signature so completely that even other Chosen couldn't sense him.Except there was no such artifact. Cel's hand dropped to the windowsill. He focused, reaching for Frostmark the way he always did - through intent alone, bypassing the energy he couldn't sense.Frost erupted beneath his touch, spreading across the wood in delicate patterns that branched and crystallized. Cold bit into his palm. He pulled his hand back, flexing fingers against the ache.The frost remained, permanent and gleaming.'How?'How could he be blessed without Divine Energy? How could he use authorities without the fuel to activate them?It made no sense.A Chosen who couldn't sense Divine Energy shouldn't exist. Much less a Chosen who had none.Yet here he stood.Blessed by the Moon Goddess. Able to summon artifacts and authorities. But cking the energy that should make it all possible.'What the hell am I?' The question hung in the silence.Something was wrong with him. Something fundamental that even the goddess's blessing hadn't fixed.Or… hadn't needed to fix.Maybe it wasn't a fw to be corrected.Maybe it was simply... what he was.Cel turned from the window, his gaze tracking across the sparse room. Bed. Desk. Wardrobe. Basin.His entire world, now.And Raven…The name settled in his chest like a stone.Raven was the Prince of Death. A prodigy who'd infiltrated the Sun Cn's stronghold and murdered their greatest talent - someone blessed by a Divine Oracle, just like Cel.That parallel made his skin prickle.What could drive someone to throw away everything? Title, cn, divine favor, family - all of it abandoned to become Cursed and commit murder.The expedition to the Western Continent. Something had happened there.But what?And why kill the Sun Cn's prodigy specifically? Was it personal? Political? Something else?Cel sank onto the bed's edge, elbows on his knees.Raven had helped him. Protected him from creatures that should have killed them both. Had done it all knowing Cel was Chosen - knowing most Chosen would try to kill him on sight.He'd even told Cel to trust Esrin. To seek her protection.Even knowing she hunted him.That wasn't evil.But cold-blooded murder wasn't good either.The contradiction refused to resolve. Maybe there were no good or bad people - just broken ones making choices that seemed right in the moment.Or maybe Cel was rationalizing because Raven had shown him kindness when no one else had.He pressed his hands against his face.If Raven appeared again... if the Reckoning ordered him to help hunt someone who'd saved his life…What was he supposed to do?The room felt too small suddenly. Confining. Like the walls were pressing in.He needed answers. Real answers, not specution or half-formed theories.And there was only one person who might have them.Cel closed his eyes and reached inward.The world shifted.Cracked earth materialized beneath his feet. Mist swirled in gentle currents around his legs. Small flowers with bluish-white petals bloomed from small fissures, reaching toward the full moon that hung above.Footsteps approached through the mist.Selina emerged with that same graceful certainty, white robes trailing through the haze. Her silver mask caught moonlight, reflecting it in pale crescents. Below, her lips curved in a serene smile."Welcome back, Chosen One."The greeting was gentle. Patient. A small anchor of certainty in everything that felt chaotic.Cel's throat worked. Where to even start?"I need to ask you something." The words came rougher than intended. "Of course," Selina said simply."About the Reckoning. Are they..." He paused, searching for the right question. "They hunt corrupt Chosen. Kill them when the w fails. Is that justice? Or just violence?"Selina tilted her head slightly, already understanding where his thoughts had taken him. "An interesting question. But perhaps the wrong one."Cel blinked."What do you mean?""Organizations are not inherently good or evil, Chosen One. They are simply structures. Frameworks built by people to achieve certain ends." She gestured gracefully with one hand. "What defines them - what truly matters - are the individuals who comprise them. Their intentions. Their values. Their choices."Cel's shoulders drew back. "So you're saying I should judge them by their members, not their stated purpose?""I am saying that the Reckoning is what its people make it." Her tone remained gentle but carried weight. "Some may be driven by genuine desire for justice. Others by vengeance. Still others by the simple thrill of power over those who once held power over them." She paused. "Judge each person for themselves. Not the banner they stand beneath."The answer settled in his chest, heavy and uncomfortable.It meant he couldn't just accept or reject the Reckoning wholesale. Couldn't trust them or dismiss them as a group.He'd have to evaluate each member individually. Decide who deserved his trust and who didn't.Exhausting.But probably wise."I have another question," he said finally. "About my… condition."Selina's attention shifted, becoming more focused."The Reckoning said I have no Divine Energy." The words felt strange in his mouth. Wrong. "Not suppressed. Not hidden. Just... absent." He met her masked gaze. "How is that possible? How can I manifest abilities without the power to fuel them?"Silence answered himWhen Selina finally spoke, that familiar note of regret colored her voice. "I am sorry, Chosen One. That does not lie within my authority."Cel's hands clenched into fists. "So I'm just supposed to figure it out myself? Stumble around blind until I happen to understand why I'm—why I'm broken?""You are not broken."The certainty in her voice stopped him cold.Selina took a step closer, silver mask tilted toward him with what felt like infinite patience."You are different, Chosen One. That is not the same as fwed. The goddess chose you knowing exactly what you are. She blessed you not despite your nature, but because of it. Whatever answer you seek regarding your condition, you will find it when the time is right. Not before."The frustration burning in his chest didn't dissipate, but something about her tone made him swallow the angry response forming on his tongue.She was right.He didn't like it. Hated it, actually.But she was right."Fine." The word came out clipped. "Then what about Raven?"Selina's posture shifted subtly. Still graceful, still poised, but... guarded in a way she'd never been before."You told me to be careful," Cel pressed. "What did you mean? Should I trust him? Avoid him?"The mist curled around their feet, moving in slow spirals across cracked earth."I cannot share more than I have already told you, Chosen One." Her tone carried genuine regret. "Raven's path is his own, and the choices he has made - the reasons behind them - are not mine to reveal." She paused. "What I can tell you is this: the young man you met in the Ashnds is dangerous. Not because he wishes you harm, but because the forces surrounding him are complex. Votile."The implication made his stomach twist."Dangerous how? To me? To others?""I think," Selina said carefully, "that you should stay away from him if your paths cross again."The advice settled over him like cold water.Cel turned away, his gaze tracking across the cracked earth. Flowers swayed in wind that shouldn't exist here, their petals catching moonlight.Behind him, Selina's posture rexed slightly, the guardedness fading back into her usual gentle presence."Is there anything else, Chosen One?"Cel was silent for a long moment, his gaze fixed on the cracked earth at his feet."What am I supposed to do?" The words came out quieter than he'd intended. Almost vulnerable.For a heartbeat, Selina simply watched him, her presence calm and unhurried.When she finally spoke, her voice carried an almost pyful tone. "Nothing at all."Cel blinked, momentarily thrown off bance. "Rest, Chosen One. Enjoy the peaceful time you have been given. Do the things that bring you joy, or that you have always wished to try."Cel stared at her, confusion written across his face. "I don't—what?""You have fought enough. Survived enough. Bled enough." She leaned closer, her voice dropping to something softer. "Learn to live too."The words nded like something foreign. Incomprehensible.Live.Not fight. Not survive. Not train or prepare or become stronger.Just... live."I don't understand," Cel said slowly. "The Academy starts in ten days. I need to master my abilities. Learn to control my strength. Figure out how to—""You need," Selina interrupted gently, "to remember what it feels like to be human. Not just a weapon. Not just a survivor." She paused. "When was the st time you did something simply because it brought you joy?"The question stopped him cold.When? Before the beating? Before his Divine Calling?Had he ever?His throat felt tight. "I don't know how.""Then now is the perfect time to learn." There was no judgment in her tone. Only understanding. "Ten days, Chosen One. Ten days to discover what brings you peace. What makes you smile. What reminds you that you are more than the trials you have survived.""Like what?" The question came out helpless."Start small." Selina's hand lifted, gesturing toward the moon above. "Watch the moon. Walk through the city without searching for threats. Speak with someone because you want to, not because you need something from them." She lowered her hand. "Let yourself be bored. Let yourself be curious."The suggestions felt absurd. Frivolous.Dangerous, even.But something in his chest loosened at the thought."I don't know if I can," he admitted."You can." Selina's certainty was absolute. "You simply need to give yourself permission."Silence stretched between them, broken only by the soft rustle of flowers swaying in the mist.Eventually, Cel nodded once. Not agreement, exactly. Just acknowledgement that he'd heard her."Thank you," he said quietly."You are welcome, Chosen One."Selina's smile brightened - genuine warmth transforming her serene expression into something radiant. The moonlight seemed to gather around her, highlighting the elegant curve of her mask, the graceful line of her throat, the way her white robes moved like water with each small shift of her posture.It was…Beautiful. She was beautiful.He'd known that, objectively. But knowing something and truly seeing it were different things entirely.Heat crawled up his neck, sudden and unwelcome."Chosen One?" Selina tilted her head slightly, that radiant smile still in pce. "Is something wrong?""No," he said too quickly. "Nothing.” Cel's gaze jerked away, desperate for somewhere - anywhere - else to look.His eyes nded on the divine monolith standing behind her, its surface gleaming with pale light.Right. The achievement. He'd heard the Divine Voice earlier, hadn't he? When Esrin brought him through that rift.Perfect."Actually—" Cel gestured toward the monolith, seizing the excuse like a lifeline. "I just remembered. New achievement. I should probably check that before I go.""Of course," Selina said, and was it his imagination, or did her tone carry a hint of amusement?Cel didn't look back to check. He was already moving toward the monolith, his steps perhaps a bit quicker than necessary.Behind him, he could have sworn he heard the softest sound - barely audible.A quiet chuckle.His face burned hotter.The monolith's surface rippled as he approached, text forming in that familiar script:

  

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