“I can’t believe this stupid fucking plan is working twice in a row.”
“Shh!” Chase hissed to Carmine as he and Victoria led her and Melanie through the ruined town. “Not so loud!”
“Just saying,” Carmine whispered to him. “Maybe I should tempt fate more often, you know. It seems to actually work when I do it, as opposed to when you do it.”
Chase gently smacked her upside the head, which thankfully had the desired effect. Not only did it quiet her down, but the other Paladins eyeing him and Victoria as they marched through the town with two obvious Demons in tow seemed to approve of his rough treatment of her.
The fighting in the town had mostly died down by this point. Dozens upon dozens of Demons were lying dead on the ground already, with a fair few dead Paladins joining them as well. Chase couldn’t help but note that most of the Demons appeared to have been their equivalent of civilians; most of them looked more like Carmine than not, being humanoids with either exotic-colored blue or red skin, and horns. A few of them had slate gray skin; these were the ones who were clad in armor and seemed to have been carrying weapons when the attack had begun.
Clearly, there was supposed to be some kind of hierarchy system or other kind of delineation when it came to Demon society, but he couldn’t be bothered to think too intently about it now.
“Victoria,” Chase whispered, hoping she could hear him over the lashing of nearby flames and the rattle of plate armor as squads of Crusaders moved through the ruined town. “Victoria, do you know where we’re going?”
“Not at all,” she hissed back to him. “I’ve never been on a Crusade. I’m going off of what little I can remember of the doctrine I was taught while training to be a member of my Order.”
“Okay, what was the doctrine?”
“Set up the portal in a safe spot a good distance away from the site of the first battlefield.”
“Thanks, that narrows it down.”
“You asked,” she countered. “How much time do we have left, anyway?”
“Can’t be more than thirty minutes, by my estimation.”
Victoria let out a huff at that. “This is taking too long. We need to double-time it, and-”
“Halt,” an unfamiliar woman suddenly called out to them. “You two, what are you doing?”
The four of them suddenly paused. Behind his helmet, Chase’s eyes widened in shock, and he was sure Victoria was doing the same thing under hers. Slowly, the two of them turned towards the direction from where they’d been called out to, and found a Paladin in polished steel armor and wearing a red cape standing there, her arms crossed over her chest. She was flanked by several other, more rank-and-file-looking Paladins, all of them clutching large weapons. Chase counted two halberds, three greatswords, and a warhammer among them. He swallowed nervously, then did the only thing he could think of.
He pointed to himself for emphasis.
The female Paladin Captain let out a sigh. “No, not you. The other two Crusaders dragging along two prisoners with them, looking like they’re lost.”
“Oh, that’s a relief,” Chase said to her. “For a moment, I thought we were the only ones.” Victoria bumped into him with her hip. “I mean, uh… don’t mind us, we’re just escorting some prisoners back to camp.”
“And therein lies the problem,” the Captain replied. “Did you not hear the Knight-Commander’s speech before we rode into glorious battle? He specifically said no prisoners were to be taken today. Now, stand aside, we’ll take care of these two.”
A few of the Crusaders went to step forward, but thankfully, Victoria’s quick thinking made them stop.
“These two are VIPs,” she stated.
Chase caught on quick. “Uh, yeah. They’re both Very Important Prisoners.”
That earned him another hip bump. Thankfully, though, the Crusaders before them exchanged a look with their Captain, who let out a tired sigh.
“Okay, I’ll bite,” she said. “What makes these two in particular so important?”
“Did you not hear what the Knight-Commander was saying about what happened back at the prison?” Chase ventured. It was a gamble, he knew, but it was one he had to take.
Thankfully, his Charisma seemed to pay off, as the Captain tilted her head rather than draw her weapon.
“The prison…?” she said. After a moment, she stood up straighter. “Right, right – the prison break a short while ago. How could I have forgotten?” She shook her head. “You think these two are connected to it?”
“They are,” Chase stated with confidence. He elbowed Carmine in the ribs, causing her to let out a pained gasp. “This one here helped instigate the breakout. I know because I heard him ranting about a teenage Demon with bright red hair and a filthy mouth on her.”
“Elbow me like that again and I’ll show you more than a filthy mouth, you motherfucker…” Carmine growled through gritted teeth.
The Captain blinked behind her helmet, then nodded. “Ah, yeah. Now I remember. She fits that profile to a T, at least.” She looked over towards Victoria, her gaze settling on Melanie. “And what about this one?”
“She also helped instigate it,” Victoria replied with authority. “She’s a Lich.”
“A Lich? How can you tell?”
“She’s wearing standard Lich garb,” Chase offered.
“What, you mean the darkened cloak? That’s supposed to be standard Lich garb? Standard pervert garb, more like…”
“You’re not wrong,” Chase conceded. This time, he expected the incoming hip bump before it arrived. “Anyway, she’s a necromancer. Ever heard of a Lich who wasn’t a necromancer?”
“Admittedly, no, but I suppose there’s a first time for everything,” the Captain conceded. “Anyway, if you’re truly sure those two are responsible for the prison break, then I suppose I owe you thanks for rounding them up. A lot of good men died that day, after all, so it’ll be good to see their deaths be avenged.”
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“I agree completely,” Chase said.
“Good. Now, if you can just hand over both prisoners to me, I’ll take them both back to the Knight-Commander and he can render judgment unto them.”
“I no longer agree completely,” Chase said.
The Captain blinked, then tilted her head again. “Sorry, what was that?”
“I, uh… I can’t hand these prisoners over to you, Ma’am,” Chase insisted. “Personal matters, you see.”
“Well, what kind of personal matters? They must be pretty serious for you to defy a direct order like that.” The Captain’s eyes narrowed behind her helmet. “Is something going on, brother?”
“No, Ma’am.”
“Really? You’re sure there are no shenanigans happening right now?”
“No, Ma’am. No shenanigans at all. It’s just, uh… I lost a loved one in the prison break. Therefore, I’d like to avenge them by hand-delivering her killers to the Knight-Commander myself, with the help of my… cousin, here.”
This time, Chase hip-checked Victoria. She glared at him from behind her helmet, but was quick to nod in agreement. The Captain stared at them both, a hand going to her chin in thought before she nodded.
“Well, I suppose that checks out,” she conceded. “I’m sorry for your loss, brother. I’m sure they’d be very proud of you.”
“Yes, I’m sure he would,” Chase said a bit too quickly. “Now, if you don’t mind-”
He went to turn and walk away, only for the Captain to call out to him once more.
“Wait a second,” she said. “Earlier, you said the person you lost was a woman… and yet just now, you said he would be proud of you. Now, call me crazy, but that doesn’t seem to add up to me.”
Chase’s eyes widened as he watched the other Crusaders form up around them, trapping them in the center of a circle. Again, he swallowed nervously as he turned back towards the Captain.
“So, brother, which is it?” she demanded. “Were they a man or a woman? Or were you just completely full of shit this entire time?”
“I, uh…” Chase stammered out. “I’m not full of shit, okay? It’s just, um… uh…”
“You have five seconds to tell me the truth before I order my Paladins to take those prisoners away from you and pry your helmet off by force. Five.”
Chase wracked his brain, desperate to think of something, but nothing came to him. He was just about to begin casting Blessings on himself in a futile attempt to fight back when Victoria stepped in.
“You’re right, Ma’am,” Victoria said. “My cousin’s story doesn’t add up.”
“You rat fuck!” Chase hissed.
Victoria ignored him, instead focusing on the Captain. “You see, my cousin has a secret he’s very embarrassed by.”
“Oh?” she asked. “What is it?”
“He’s very uncomfortable with his own sexuality.”
Immediately, silence reigned over the group. All of the Paladins surrounding their group of four exchanged confused looks with each other, while the Captain once again tilted her head.
“Sorry, what?” she asked. “Sorry, how is that at all related to-”
“He’s gay, you see,” Victoria stated.
“Seriously?” Chase whispered to her. “Where are you going with this?”
Victoria gave him a sideways glance, but was quick to look back towards the Captain. “He still hasn’t told his parents,” she lamented. “I keep telling him… ‘Your parents are your parents, they’ll love you no matter what, and even if they don’t, then they’re not worth calling themselves your parents.’ But he won’t hear it, he just keeps telling them that he’s dating a girl rather than another man. It’s very sad, all things considered.’”
The Captain stared at Chase incredulously for a moment. His heart skipped a beat, before finally, she nodded.
“All too common among some more traditional families, I’m afraid,” the Captain said. “Still, brother, there should be no need to hide who you are, as your cousin said.”
“Right, I know,” Chase ventured. “And, uh… yeah, I won’t… won’t do that anymore.”
“Good. Then you’ll tell your parents about who you really are, right?”
“I mean, I would, except, uh… he’s dead, you know.”
Immediately, the Captain’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t connect the dots sooner.”
“It’s fine,” Chase said. He added a little sniffle for emphasis. “I swear, it only hurts a lot.”
“I can imagine. Well, now that you’ve explained things… I suppose I can let the glory of capturing these two go to someone who actually needs it.” The Captain waved her men off, and they all hastily lowered their weapons before dispersing, giving the four of them enough room to get out. “Go, you two. Get your vengeance.”
Again, Chase sniffled exaggeratedly. “T-thanks, Ma’am… I always knew you were commanding officer of the year…”
With that, Chase and Victoria hurriedly grabbed Carmine and Melanie, and began to usher them out through the village. Once they were out of earshot of the Captain, Chase turned towards Victoria.
“What the fuck was that?!” he whispered angrily to her. “Your excuse was that I was gay?!”
“Well, it worked, didn’t it?!” she whispered back.
“Only because the fucking Captain is weird as shit!”
“Yeah, well, it’s not like you were coming up with anything better!”
“That was entirely off-the-cuff! Can you really blame me?!”
“Yes! You spout crazy nonsense without issue all day, every day, except when we really need it! What’s wrong with you?!”
“Girls, please, you’re both pretty,” Carmine offered quietly. “Shut the fuck up and get us out of this fucking town.”
“Careful what you wish for, Carmine,” Melanie said as she suddenly looked up a nearby hill. “Because you just might get it.”
Chase only had to wonder what she was staring at for a few seconds before he followed her gaze and found a large portal standing before them, partially hidden by a big hill of brimstone. Unlike other portals he had seen, this one was completely see-through.
And through it, he could make out a veritable sea of tents and encampments, with one large, ornate-looking one centered in the very middle of them all. There had to have been hundreds upon hundreds of them, and those were just the ones he could see in the large portal.
Chase blinked in shock. “Well, shit,” he couldn’t help but mutter. “Talk about jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire…”
XXX
Name: Chase Ironheart
Level: 6
Race: Human
Class: Warrior
Subclass: Swordmaster
Strength: 20 (MAX)
Dexterity: 15
Intelligence: 10
Wisdom: 13
Constitution: 18
Charisma: 16
Skills: Master Swordsmanship (Level 10); Booby Trap Mastery (Level 8); Archery (Level 4)
Spells: Rush (Level 7); Muscle (Level 4); Stone Flesh (Level 6); Defying The Odds (Level 1)
Traits: Blessed
Name: Carmine Nolastname
Level: 6
Race: Greater Demon
Class: Arcane Witch
Subclass: Archmage
Strength: 10
Dexterity: 13
Intelligence: 19
Wisdom: 19
Constitution: 12
Charisma: 8
Skills: Master Spellcasting (Level 10); Summon Familiar (Level 10)
Spells: Magic Dart (Level 7); Magic Scattershot (Level 5); Fire Magic (Level 5)
Traits: Blessed
Name: Melanie Vhaeries
Level: 6
Race: Ascended Human
Class: Necromancer
Subclass: Arch-Lich
Strength: 8
Dexterity: 13
Intelligence: 18
Wisdom: 16
Constitution: 15
Charisma: 12
Skills: Raise Lesser Undead (Level 10); Raise Greater Undead (Level 3); Unorthodox Weapon User (Level 8)
Spells: Touch of Death (Level 5); Gravesinger (Level 7); Armor of Bone (Level 3)
Traits: None
Status Condition: Deliriously Horny; Deliriously Angry
Name: Victoria Firelight
Level: 7
Race: Human
Class: Paladin
Subclass: Devotee
Strength: 17
Dexterity: 9
Intelligence: 13
Wisdom: 13
Constitution: 19
Charisma: 11
Skills: Swordsmanship Mastery (Level 5); Blunt Weapon Mastery (Level 8); Archery Mastery (Level 5)
Spells: Holy Light (Level 6); Ward of the Gods (Level 5); Bane of the Undead (Level 7); Divine Bolt (Level 4)
Traits: None
