Date: 7-6-165

  We’ve been at sea for five days, during which time I’ve occupied myself with the study of corpse preservation and preparation. There is perhaps more to learn about the subject than I anticipated. I’d been so focused on rallying House Valia, I hadn’t considered what I would have to do when I succeeded.

  But it’s all right. I’m learning. I will be ready to prepare your body in a few days’ time. I must.

  You can imagine why I have refrained from writing in this journal in the meantime. My musings on Soulcalling would, at best bore you and, at worst, embarrass me as I make every kind of novice mistake. Today, however, there was one particular conversation that I think you would be interested in reading about.

  I have made it my habit to stroll about the deck after eating. This affords me with some much-needed fresh air and a moment’s rest amidst my studies. It was shortly after noon, and I had stopped to look out at the sun, which had only just begun to wane. A grating voice interrupted my reverie.

  “It’s been a while since I was this far out.” Lady Kailenne stood at the railing next to me, following my gaze. “I always forget how damned cold it gets out here.”

  I hummed my acknowledgment, but otherwise made no reply. Nearly every conversation I’d ever had with the woman carried an undercurrent of antagonism, and I was in no mood to subject myself to her games.

  She produced a small bag of powder and tipped some into her pipe. “I didn’t grow up with this, you know. Hell, I didn’t even set foot on a boat until I was in my sixties.” (This would be her late teens or early twenties in Guntao years.) “Has anyone told you about that? What I lived through, where I came from?”

  I searched her face for some clue as to her motivation in asking this, but I discerned nothing. I knew she killed the last heir of House Arix during the war, but other than that, I’d heard little of her history. Frankly, it wasn’t something I’d given any thought to.

  She leaned forward on the railing and let out a puff of smoke. “There’s a thing you’ve got to know about the Great Houses…”

  Here follows a faithful transcription of Lady Kailenne’s story.

  ***

  Once or twice an era, they get snuffed out. The last living member gets it into their head that they’re invincible. They test fate one too many times, and then…they’re dead. No more Great House. The lineage of a god, gone forever.

  Of course, it doesn’t ever really work out that way. There’s always some twist to it, isn’t there? A long-lost daughter or a secret heir. Maybe they faked their death because, hey, it turns out that running a Great House is the king of bullshit jobs. The Great Houses always come back, but sometimes they skip a generation or two.

  That was me. I was the long-lost daughter.

  They say the members of House Valia all have a terrible wanderlust. My father, the great Larrs Valia, was afflicted so, and he had plenty of the regular sort of lust, too. I never met the bastard, of course, but he met my mother during his wanderings, they had their fling. By the time I was born, he was gone.

  I never got to know my mother, either. She had me in a tavern in the middle of nowhere. Best I can tell, she was trying to track Larrs down so he’d make an honest woman of her, but I came early and there weren’t any good doctors on hand. She died the day after I was born.

  Things would have turned out differently if I looked the part. You’ve seen my son. He was born with all of the House Valia features. I only inherited the cheekbones. They’re damned fine cheekbones, but they don’t exactly stand out in a crowd. And standing out in the crowd might have saved me a great deal of heartache later.

  One of the tavern maids took me in and raised me until she could ship me off to school. She did her best, but it was a tough life, and, hell, I was a tough kid.

  (Lady Kailenne’s eyes drifted to my throat. I instinctively brought my hand to it, confirming that I was indeed wearing my false Heart. She looked at it thoughtfully as she continued.)

  There was something wrong with my magic, you see. I tested as a Kinesiomancer when I started school, but whenever I would practice my spells, sooner or later my Heart would break. Just crack in two. Now, these were the shitty practice Hearts they give to schoolchildren, but my teachers had never seen anything like it.

  They waited as long as they could before they wrote me off, gods bless them. But in the end, I was declared “functionally Heartless” and kicked out of the program. I probably would have ended up on the street after that, but one of my classmates took a liking to me, and he convinced his family to take me in. I never really understood why they agreed, but…

  Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  (She paused, taking a long while to just stare out at the sea. Eventually, she cleared her throat and opened her hand. Her pipe floated up above her palm, hovering there for several seconds, before returning to her grasp.)

  I’m not very good at it. Kinesiomancy, that is. But something about me being who I am, being a Valia, is too much for a Heart to handle. I figured it out, years later—that my magic worked better without a Heart. I was so happy just to be a mage, I didn’t stop to think about what the hell that might mean.

  (Lady Kailenne gave me another meaningful look, but I endeavored to keep a blank expression on my face.)

  Right, where was I?

  My classmate, the one who took me in, was my opposite in every way, as far as our teachers were concerned. An actual genius. Oh, and he was going to be something, he was always telling me, he was going to fucking make something of himself.

  Decades after I was kicked out of school, he was in the running to be a Pillar while I stayed home and took care of our kid. That’s right, we got married as soon as I came of age, though his family saw to it that we had a nice, quiet, private wedding. We had a tiny cottage on the outskirts of some university town, and my days were spent chasing after a toddler and barely ever seeing my damned husband.

  It’d all be worth it, he always said, when he got a job as a Pillar in a big city. We’d move into a palace and live like royalty. Ha!

  Funny thing is, I… Shit, I wasn’t happy, but I was fine. As far as I knew, that was more than I deserved. Functionally Heartless. I told myself I should be glad to get anything like a normal life, and besides, there was another kid on the way…

  (Once again, she fell silent. The corner of her mouth twitched upwards, once, twice, and she sniffed loudly. When she continued, her voice took on a somber tone.)

  The Great Houses… You know they’re cursed, don’t you? Right, I imagined you would…

  It’s different in every family, I hear. It’s all tied to the gods we came from. With House Arix, there’s a sudden blast of fire, and then there’s nothing left of the poor child but ash. For us, it’s… It’s drowning, naturally.

  It doesn’t happen right away, either. Maybe it would be easier if it did. But no, the gods are matrons-damned assholes, and they don’t care about what’s easy. It was a few days after our second was born when I noticed something was wrong.

  I was giving him a bath. And the water, it would… It would rise up, like it wanted him. It wanted to keep him. I had to pull him out with all my strength, and even then, it clung to him and it wouldn’t let go…

  I got him dry somehow, but it didn’t stop there. We’d pass by the pond at the park and the water would shift towards us, spilling up over the edge. I’d have a pot boiling in the kitchen and it’d tip over on its own, roiling and bubbling out toward his cradle in the other room. One day it rained, and the rain hammered on our windows like a damned typhoon, and after the storm passed the whole neighborhood was dry except for our house.

  My husband, my fucking husband, thought it was all in my head. He didn’t have time for me, and he was mad I was distracting him from his studies. I didn’t know what to do, but I was damned if I would lie down and let this happen to my baby, so I took him and his brother and we fled to the mountains. I figured we’d go high up, where there was hardly any water, and wait out whatever this was.

  As it turns out, there’s water even up there. Snow. Natural springs. Hell, condensation in the air. We were attacked from all sides. It woke something in me, and I discovered I could fight back. The water was our enemy, but it was also my servant, and I could command it.

  In the end, I actually did it. I saved my baby. And while I was holding off the deluge, shielding him from harm, his big brother wandered down the hill and found a stream, and…

  (A violent shudder wracked her body. She turned away so that I couldn’t see her face. I had to strain to hear her next words.)

  Do you have children, Why?

  Good. That’s good. The Great Houses can only have one in each generation, and… Yes, of course, that doesn’t matter to you. But I want you to remember it anyway.

  By the time baby Dominiq and I made it back to civilization, the war was in full swing. They sacked our town. I never found out if my husband died or if he just fucked off and didn’t bother searching for me after. It doesn’t matter either way, I suppose.

  I didn’t advertise myself, but word got out that there was a new Valia. House Jedin tracked me down and recruited me to fight in their last stand. The plan was to face off against King Arix’s army and get him to surrender, just like they did the last time the Houses fought each other, 900 years ago.

  It didn’t turn out that way. Arix wouldn’t back down, even when his army was broken. He killed one of the Jedins, and then suddenly I was killing him. He’s the only man I’ve ever killed, and I can’t even remember how or why, it all happened so fast. But it’s not something I can take back, so…

  After that, my son and I were sent to Valia’s Watch to claim our birthright. The city runs fine without us—hell, it runs better when Dominiq isn’t getting in the way—but everyone breathed a little easier when we got there. There’s something to be said for having a ruler who can sink invading navies with a wave of her hand.

  There’s another thing to remember about Great Houses. It’s all bullshit. The politics and the power. I don’t think I once gave an order or made a proclamation that wasn’t first slipped in my ear by some councilor or other. And if House Jedin ever offers you a gift in the spirit of friendship, you turn around and walk the other way.

  Some friendships are poison.

  ***

  Hunched over the railing, pipe held loosely between two fingers, Lady Kailenne looked almost deflated. She’d trailed off, seemingly out of words, and now her gaze glided listlessly over the waves. I’d been eager to avoid engaging her in conversation before, but after all that, I felt I had to say something.

  “Nobody ever did tell me that,” I said, finally answering her question from before.

  “Huh?” She squinted at me. With a heavy sigh, she emptied her pipe over the edge of the ship and set to cleaning it. “It’s not something I talk about much. There’s such a thing as privacy, you know.”

  “Then… Why did you tell me?”

  “Good fucking question.” She gave one last look at my false Heart, and then walked away.