We left the farm in much lower spirits than when we arrived. To make matters worse, I was covered in monster gore and out of clean clothes. The jacket was surprisingly clean, like the blood and gore just slid off the leather. The rest of me though was gross.

  We went back home and I took a shower. Unfortunately I still didn’t have clean clothes to change into, so I mixed and matched some outfits from the last few days in order to come out with the most clean options. I still felt icky climbing into them after the hot shower. The rest of my clothes were fed into the washing machine. Which we then couldn’t start because there was no detergent. Of course.

  After the others declared me only mildly gross, we all headed into town and started our shopping trip. Stop one was the local phone store. Somewhere named Telus. Apparently US brands weren’t a thing here so it wouldn’t be easy. And of course we had to get local numbers. Can’t have an international number for a Canadian phone service…which I guess makes sense, but is annoying as fuck. At least I could keep my phone.

  The next stop was cheap clothes since anything expensive would just be ruined by monster gore. Unfortunately when I asked about Walmart I was laughed out of the phone store. Apparently the only one in the entire territory was in another town not much bigger than Whitcomb. Raging-Horse, or Washing-Bull or something like that. There was a farm animal involved I’m sure. And it was hundreds of kilometers away.

  We had to go searching for something smaller and more local for everything else. We decided to split up once we parked ‘downtown’ and walk around. We exchanged our new numbers and started a new group chat. John and Oliver went in one direction. Mara went in another. I would have joined her, but Mara is an excitable shopper and I did not have the mental fortitude to deal with that today. Or most days. I tried to sneak off on my own but Ashley decided to tag along. Ostensibly because we only had three radios. I’m not sure I believed her though. She could have gone with Mara.

  There were a number of small restaurants, cafes, and bars in the direction we decided to head down. I made note of a few that looked interesting. Even I couldn’t cook at home for dinner every day. Not because I needed to be out and socialize. Ew. Sometimes I just needed something greasy and unhealthy to eat.

  Ashley pointed out a small gym in a parking center across the street. You can take the girl out of the gym, but you can’t take the gym out of the girl, or whatever. I followed her across the street and tried to wait outside while she went in for the full sale. Unfortunately Ashley didn’t believe in that either and dragged me along inside.

  “Welcome! Haven’t seen either of you around before, you must be some of the new ones in town.” A bright eyed receptionist greeted us. Her blonde ponytail bounced with her words.

  “Hi,” Ashley’s energy almost instantly matched the other woman and I wanted nothing more than to bolt. “Yeah, we’re new to the area. I was hoping to find a new gym now that we’re kinda here and all. Can we get a tour?”

  “Sure. You and your…” she trailed off frowning a little for once.

  “Friend, we’re just friends,” I answered.

  “Wonderful!” All of her energy popped back up and she zeroed in on Ashley. “I can give you a tour now if you’d like. It’s not big, but we made the best use of the space we could. I’m Sarah,” she introduced herself reaching a hand across the desk.

  “Ashley,” Ashley answered, they shook hands. “And this is Grace.” I waved.

  Sarah came around the desk, eyes sweeping over Ashley. “Let me guess, cardio and…pilates?” She ran a finger along Ashley’s arm from shoulder to wrist.

  “And yoga, I teach. Well, I taught. A little bit of weights too,” Ashley eagerly answered.

  “Mmmmm…nice. Well, let me show you around.” Sarah inserted her arm around Ashley’s and guided her away.

  I trailed behind slightly confused about how I was feeling. I was pretty sure home girl was flirting hard with Ashley. Surely I wasn’t jealous, but I found I had to take a deep breath and remind myself that it didn’t matter, because I didn’t even want to date Ashley. She was her own person and if pretty blondes wanted to flounce around in front of her, there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

  The entire tour went like that. Sarah showed off some sort of equipment or classroom and fawned all over Ashley. She jumped all over her reactions and pouted if Ashley wasn’t excited enough. It was a little nauseating to be honest. Get a room you two. Ugh.

  Eventually we wandered back to the front desk and Sarah gave Ashley her business card with what looked like a heart drawn on the back and an extra number, and a pamphlet with the gym’s information on it. She fawned over Ashley for another few minutes before we were able to squeeze out the door.

  If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “She was so nice,” Ashley commented once we were outside.

  “She was so nice,” I mocked under my breath.

  “What was that?”

  “I agreed with you. So nice,” I answered in a less sarcastic tone.

  “I wonder how many gyms there are here. I may be stuck with this one, not that it’s a bad one. Just a little small, and they didn’t have a yoga class.”

  “Mmmmm,” I agreed halfheartedly.

  “You hungry? Want to grab something from that pizza place we passed?” She asked me.

  “Sure, that sounds good.”

  So, we walked back a block. I pulled open the door and a little bell rang above the door to the local pizza joint. I held it open as Ashley entered the shop. The smell of garlic, yeast, and tomato sauce permeated the air. My mouth watered.

  We walked up to the counter to order a slice. Behind the counter was the typical angsty teenager. A scowl and a couple pimples rounded out his plain face and buzzed haircut. When he realized we were someone new, his entire personality perked up.

  “Oi, you must be the Americans,” he vibrated in place.

  “We are,” I answered. “You must be the Canadian.”

  The kid rolled his eyes at me. “Yeah, yeah. But, like you must have come from a big city or something right?”

  “Not much bigger than this town actually,” I sadly informed him.

  His whole face dropped, “It’s ok. Y’all are old anyway. Wouldn’t know anything about fun or anything.”

  “Listen here you little–”

  “Grace!” Ashley interrupted. “Look, we’ll just get a couple slices of pepperoni.”

  I stomped off to a table away from the counter. Not that there were that many. The front of the restaurant was a handful of tables no more than a dozen feet from the counter.

  How dare he call me old. I was barely twenty-eight. Friggin’ teenager needed glasses. Jerk. I was a gorgeous delight. So what if I’d recently started finding little grey hairs on my head. I plucked those bastards and no one else was the wiser.

  Ashley came over to the table with a pair of cokes in hand and one of those little number cards on a stand. There was literally no one else in the place. I rolled my eyes. Ashley just giggled. She sat down in the chair across from me and leaned back.

  “Feeling a little sensitive?”

  “No…” I lied.

  “I hear that’s something old people deal with.”

  I threw her the middle finger, “You’re like a year younger than me.”

  “And don’t you forget it, you old fogey.”

  “Stupid whippersnapper. Get off my lawn,” I said in my best crotchety old man voice. I cracked up and she soon joined me.

  A few minutes later the kid brought out our plates of pizza. The slices were the size of my face and covered in that grease that all good pizza has. I immediately covered it in parmesan cheese and crushed pepper flakes from the little shakers that I swear every pizza joint I’d ever been in has used. Ashley opted to eat hers plain. Heathen.

  My first bite was hot and heavenly. I groaned into my pizza and my face heated with a blush when I heard myself. I looked up and Ashley was smiling with a hint of pink on her cheeks as well. We ate the rest of our pizzas in companionable silence. It was actually kind of nice.

  I left a small tip under my cup and followed Ashley out the door, the bell ringing behind us. We returned to our journey searching for some local clothing shops.

  A few blocks later we hit pay dirt. There was a small consignment shop next door to a store selling more outdoorsy clothing. I wanted to hit up the consignment shop because I could usually find something more my style in places like those. Ashley dragged me past it though to the outdoorsy clothing shop.

  We walked in to another bell above the door. This time Ashley held the door open for me and I entered first. There was an older gentleman on the far side of the store that called out a greeting as I walked through. I shot off a quick text in the group chat dropping a pin for the stores.

  I looked around at the racks of clothing and equipment. I ran my fingers over some of the jeans in one and was impressed with the thickness and softness. They felt like they’d actually been broken in already and would be comfortable and offer a little more support than say Ashley’s leggings that she seemed to prefer. I held them up for her to inspect.

  She made a face but came over and felt the material. Together we shifted through racks of jeans looking for a cut that we’d be comfortable with. I grabbed a few pairs in similar sizes and looked around for a changing room.

  The older gentleman from before silently pointed me toward the back of the showroom. At least he understood women’s shopping habits. I’d run into plenty of guys in retail that didn’t understand how poorly sized women’s clothes were.

  And as is the case like ninety percent of the time, at least for me, none of them fit right. It took two more trips to find the right style black jeans that fit me well. The worst was knowing that some light blue ones in a different cut actually fit the best, but the black ones of the same cut fit horribly. Fucking fashion could eat shit and die.

  After grabbing a couple pairs of jeans I moved around the rest of the store. There were a lot of flannel shirts, which would be great if I wanted to advertise my queerness. I had a feeling though that the fashion was more prevalent amongst the straight community and I’d just blend in. I didn’t find any shirts or anything I was interested in so I just followed Ashley around the store while she loaded up on flannels and tried on new boots. I thanked goodness for my old hiking boots when I caught sight of the prices for new ones. Jeans were bad enough.

  Eventually we finished up and I was finally able to drag Ashley back over to the consignment shop. Even if I didn’t find anything there, I’d be back. Places like this were a treasure trove every time you came in and just one lucky trip could make a huge difference on your closet.

  Thirty minutes later and I’d found a few tops to go with my pants. As well as a nice dress that I could wear for a date or something nicer if I had the opportunity. Mara had drilled into me through years of friendship that it was necessary to plan for fun nights out as much as it was to plan for your everyday slog.

  We finally reached the end of ‘downtown’ a few minutes later and decided to backtrack to the van and drop off our stuff. The group chat had blown up a little bit earlier when the boys found a general store on their route. There were a few things there that I’d want to stock up on, but the boys had already gone ahead and bought the laundry detergent we needed back home. One less thing for me to lug back.