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THE ANTS FROM MARS

©2008 by Richard S. Crawford

Walter sat on the bench facing the museum, flipping idly through a magazine and watching patrons and tourists go in and out of the front door. Any minute now, She would step through: the cute entomologist who worked with mites and because of whom Walter was no longer actually inside the library.

Not that Walter cared. He wasn’t the kind of man to hold a grudge.

Not much of one, anyway.

He checked his watch. It was eleven minutes after five, and just on time She stepped through the museum’s front door, a tiny Chinese woman who was easily as round as she was tall, wearing jeans and a message tee. Walter stood up and approached her at a run, wanting to make sure he didn’t miss her before she made it to her car.

“Doctor Hsu!” he shouted. “Doctor Hsu!”

Doctor Hsu — Emily Hsu, to be precise, but she had strictly forbidden him from using her first name — stopped and looked around. When she saw Walter approaching her, she quickened her pace.

“Wait!” Walter shouted. “I have to talk to you. It’s a matter of life and death!”

Doctor Hsu stopped long enough to spin around and give Walter a look that would have struck a lesser man dead in his tracks. Veins stood out on her temples. Her cheeks flushed. She practically spat as she spoke. “Get away from me! I’ve told you never to bother me again. I’m going to call the police.”

Walter stopped. “Doctor Hsu, I promise you I’m not going to ask you to go to dinner with me again.”

“Good. You’ve asked me twenty-seven times. I counted. Now go away.” She spun around and began marching away.

“Wait! I have information about the Martian ants!”

Doctor Hsu stopped. Turned around. “How could you know about those? The discovery was only announced this morning.”

Walter did his best to look solemn and speak solemnly. “The new ant species. Martialis heureka. They’re not from around. Not from this planet.”

“You’re ridiculous. Of course they’re from this planet. They’re just an unusual species of Brazilian cave ant, that’s all.”

“No,” Walter said. “That’s what they want you to think. But that’s not the truth.”

“What are you talking about, Walter?”

“The ants.” Walter looked to his left and to his right, just to make sure no one was looking in his direction. “They’ve told me.”

“Goodbye, Walter.” Doctor Hsu spun on her heels again and began her strident march to her car.

“Doctor Hsu, wait! I’ve been taking my medications, I swear! This isn’t another one of my delusions. Just give me a chance to prove myself.”

To Walter’s shock and surprise, Doctor Hsu stopped and turned around again. “Okay, Walter. Tell me what you think you’ve found. But make it fast.”

Walter took a deep breath. “This new species of ant, they’re not really ants at all. That’s just the form they take in our dimension. In reality they exist in all dimensions, taking different forms in each one. In our dimension they look like these ants.”

“You’ve been reading too much Douglas Adams.”

“No, I haven’t! They’ve been talking to me. I know their secrets. Just follow me, okay? I can show you proof.”

Doctor Hsu looked around, then checked her watch. “Okay, fine, Walter. Take me to see your proof.”

Walter’s heart skipped a beat and for a moment it was all he could do to stop himself from dancing with joy.  He had no intentions toward Doctor Hsu, none at all. Carnal thoughts had never entered his mind. No, his interest in her was purely intellectual and spiritual. And now she had finally shown that she was interested in something that he had to say.

“Okay,” he said. It was hard to speak through the broadening smile. “It’s less than a quarter of a mile away, in the tea garden. I’ll show you. Come on!”

He turned and bounded away from the museum and through the gate to the tea garden. He paused just before entering to look back, and was happy to see that Doctor Hsu was following him, though at a good distance. She was staring at him suspiciously.

“It’s not far is it?” she called to him.

Walter halted at the gate and held it open so that Doctor Hsu could step through easily. She did, pressing herself as far away from Walter as possible. “No,” he said. “Not far at all.”  Once they were both through the gate, Walter let the gate shut. “Okay. Come on. Just past those hedges there.”

He stepped aside and let Doctor Hsu lead the way.

After a few moments, she stopped. “Oh my God!” Walter heard her say.

He skipped up to her. She was looking down, at a hole in the ground that Walter had uncovered earlier. In the hole wriggled a writhing mass of ants.

Walter grinned. “You know them?”

“Martialis heureka,” Doctor Hsu said. “There must be thousands of them here.” She looked up at Walter. There was a dark look on her face. “How did you do this? Where did these come from?”

“Do you like them?”

“They’re not supposed to be here, Walter. This is just wrong.”

Walter blinked in confusion. “But I did it for you. I told you, they’ve talked to me, and I talked back. They did me a favor, and they came all the way here just to say hello to you for me.”

“You did this for me?” Doctor Hsu asked.

“Of course!” Walter nodded enthusiastically. “Like I said, you just have to know what to say, and how to say it.”

Doctor Hsu stared at the wriggling mass of small, pale ants for a few seconds. Then she thrust her hand into their midst, and watched, a grim expression on her face, as the insects began crawling up her arm.

Walter’s heart skipped a beat. “What are you doing?”

“Shh,” Doctor Hsu said to Walter. “Just a moment.”

The ants continued to make their way up Doctor Hsu’s arm. Once they reached her elbow, they hesitated and began wriggling around even more enthusiastically. Walter felt faint when he realized that the ants were crawling into Doctor Hsu’s skin, working their way inside of her. “Doctor Hsu? Emily? What’s going on?”

Doctor Hsu looked up at Walter. “What do you think is going on?”

“Those ants are crawling inside your skin!”

“Of course they are, Walter. Why wouldn’t they?”

“I’m confused.”

Doctor Hsu stood up. “Walter, this is extremely inconvenient.”

“Inconvenient?”

“Yes. I’m not sure how this happened, but you weren’t supposed to learn about this. Not yet.” She sighed and examined the ants crawling around on her arm. “In fact, you weren’t supposed to learn about this at all.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Walter, come here for a second, would you?”

Walter hesitated. On the one hand, all those ants crawling around Doctor Hsu’s hand and into her arm was really creepy and disturbing. On the other hand, well, it was Doctor Hsu.

He stepped forward, coming close to the entomologist. When she lifted her arms to embrace him, he stepped into the embrace willingly. True love, after all, overcomes any insect related creepiness.

“The trans-dimensional entities are here with an agenda, Walter. I’m afraid we can’t allow you to interfere with that.”

Walter almost had time to ask her what she meant before there was a burning pain in his right ear. A loud crunching sound reverberated through his skull, and then things just went black as ants swarmed into him and ate his brain.

* * *

Two people, a man and a woman, stood in the park, embracing. After a few moments, the man pulled back. “What was I so worried about?” he asked.

The woman shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you feel anything anymore?”

“Nope. Not at all.” The man looked puzzled. “I don’t know… Am I really here?”

“Yes, Walter, you’re here. Just different now. Instead of a brain now, a complex colony of transdimensional ants are controlling all your behaviors and functions. You have no consciousness at this point, just a complex sequence of programmed behaviors and reflexes.”

“Oh.” Walter furrowed his brows. “I suppose that makes sense. Are you the same way?”

“Of course. I have been for years.”

“So what do we do now?”

“Well, Walter. We wait. We have an agenda. And we have time.”

THE END