Zombiegeddon: Blog Like It's the End of the World

On Wednesday, June 13, it will be time to blog like it’s the end of the world.  I, of course, will be taking part, and I expect you to do so as well.

Thanks to my friend Bonnie for the heads up.

Current Mood: Thoughtful

Once again, my lungs are giving me hell, so yet again I’m working at home today.  Hacking away at Moodle like always, doing random tech support, and forgetting to update my online timesheet (which is ironic, since I’m the one who created the online timesheet that everyone in our office uses anyway).

Summer’s upon us, which means that the Central Valley, which Dixon is smack-dab in the near middle of, is getting hot.  Spring was unusually warm around here, and it looks like summer’s going to be just as bad, if not worse.

Since Dixon’s a farm town, deep in the heart of agricultural country, summer also means that our population grows about 30% (according to a community analysis report I read when I joined the Library Commission a few years ago); this, of course, is because of the number of migrant farm workers that come into the area to work.  We have two camps near Dixon for the workers; one is actually a recovered naval base, which still has some of the old buildings intact, and a radio tower.  School is out for the summer, but the library’s summer outreach program to the migrant workers camp continues.

Which reminds me: when I went to the drug store this morning to pick up some drugs, I saw an ambulance parked in front of the library.  When I got home I called the library’s administrative assistant and asked what had happened.  She told me that one of the library volunteers had gotten injured somehow at the migrant camp yesterday when she was doing some outreach work, and her wound, which was apparently really bad, had gotten badly infected.  She was taken to the hospital for treatment.

Not to sound racist or classist, but I know that the migrant camps simply can’t be perfect havens of outstanding public health.  Not all of the migrants are illegal immigrants, but I assume that many are; and with the difficulty that illegal immigrants have, too many diseases, including some very dangerous communicable diseases, are left untreated until the condition worsens to the point where emergency services are required.  This is just dangerous.  Regardless of your position on illegal immigration, I think we can all agree that these communities should not be allowed to become public health risks to the community at large; any legislation which denies preventative and maintenance health care to illegal immigrants is just cutting off our nose to spite our face.

Of course, when I heard about the library assistant, being me, I naturally assumed it was necrotizing fasciitis; it frequently starts out when an injury becomes infected, it strikes fast, and it strikes hard.  There haven’t been any cases of that reported around here, but it’s not inconceivable that the staph strain responsible was carried here by workers from other areas, and that it could have infected someone.  Still, it’s really unlikely.

I’m still going to be obsessively cleaning any tiny scrape or cut I get for awhile, though.  Old habits and hypochondria die hard.

There’s also the fact that when I work at home, I usually pop in some old horror movies to play in the background while I code away.  I had a nightmare last night (don’t remember what it was, just that I screamed myself awake), and that set me on edge, so I’m seeing ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and germs where there are none.

So no, nothing much happening around here today.  How’s it going where you are?

Current Mood: Nerdy

No, not that kind of smut.  I’m talking about corn smut, a fungal disease of maize.  Corn kernels infected with corn smut turn gray and bloated and just look really ugly.  Of course, corn smut is also considered a delicacy in some areas, though it’s generally considered a pest in agricultural areas of the US.  Native Americans frequently used corn smut to induce labor; apparently it has some of the same physiological effects as ergot, but without the, you know, psychotic episodes and the dying and the extremities rotting off.

I only mention this because I think smut has entered our little farm town.  The Supreme Court won’t be doing anything about it, although the agricultural board might.  Seen from a distance, a corn field, like the ones that surround Dixon, which has been infected with smut looks like an ordinary corn field, but one dotted with black specks — the tumors produced in the corn by the smut.  As I was driving to the store this evening, I discovered that in certain light, the black specks of corn smut can also look bright red.

In other news, apparently the library assistant who was injured during the migrant worker outreach project yesterday has died.  I’m looking for more information about that, but this sort of thing probably won’t hit the local papers for a couple of days.  I’m hoping our district librarian will have more information.  The quick death, though, reinforces my idea that necrotizing fasciitis was at work.  I’ve heard rumors that there have been a couple more cases in the migrant camp, which strikes me as kind of odd; I’ve never heard of an epidemic of necrotizing fasciitis.

Still, it was enough to freak out at least one person.  While shopping for yogurt at Safeway, I saw a woman buying what looked like a month’s supply of food, including lots of bottled water and dried goods.  And she paid with a couple of hundred dollar bills.  I thought her type had finally come face to face with reality back in 2000, when Y2K failed to turn off a single light bulb.

I swear, what with the corn smut and the necrotizing fasciitis, I feel like I should be taking several showers a day when living in Dixon.  Glad I’m moving to Sacramento soon.

Meanwhile, does anyone know what’s really going on in Australia and New Zealand?  People are talking about a zombie uprising down there.  Those of you who know me know how seriously I tend to take any apocalyptic murmurings (as in, not at all), so I think the real story is something much less serious.  This is New Zealand, for crying out loud.  Home of Peter Jackson, who, before giving us Lord of the Rings, gave us Dead Alive, arguably one of the funniest (and goriest) zombie flicks of all time.  Since zombies seem to be in vogue right now, I imagine some film producer is capitalizing on all this.

Oh, and people are trying to tie this all in to a medical alert issued in Kuwait as well.

I’ve said it before, I’ll happily say it again.  People are just plain nuts sometimes.

Updates:  There are more zombie stories coming from the Phillipines and from Korea now.

Current Mood: Annoyed

The Redneckification of Dixon continues.

Back in April, voters in Dixon defeated a series of measures which would have allowed Magna Entertainment to build a horse race track in Dixon (I liked that Magna spent thirty times more on the "Yes" campaign than the opposition, and still got defeated).  We’ve already got a WalMart and more check cashing / cash advance storefronts than we really need, so what do we need a horse race track for?

But the process continues.  The city’s Fourth of July celebration this year will not just be a one day affair, but a four day long extravaganza featuring tractor pulls, monster truck rallies, freestyle motocross, and a demolition derby!  Yeeha!

And to top it off, the drunks wandering the streets this morning.

No, really.  All I can figure is that they got pissed at the dive downtown and got lost and started wandering around the streets, and even made it into the suburbs.  There was a guy in our back yard this morning shuffling around and moaning.  I think he must have knocked the head off of one of the sprinklers, because half our lawn is soaked in water; seriously, it’s like a lake down there.  I called the police, but there was no response at the station, which is peculiar.  So I tracked down the number for the Solano County sheriff.  Again, no response.  I have a friend who’s a cop in Vacaville; I’ll try to get in touch with him today and see what he has to say about it.

Anyway, I opened the window and shouted at the drunk guy to get off our property, but he refused to.  Just stood there moaning and swaying.  He looked like death, too; skin all clammy and pale, and covered in mud.  All I can figure is that he wandered into our back yard and stood on the lawn when the sprinklers went off.  Then he kicked the sprinkler head off and now he’s a wet drunk, and a stupid one at that.

My wife and I are good liberals, so we have nothing in our house that can serve as a weapon of any sort.  Sure, we’ve got the dry stone flowerbed in our back yard, made of stones that we set together without mortar, so if our house is ever invaded I can run out back and grab bricks to throw at people, but we have no guns and no baseball bats.  And because we’re getting ready to move, we’ve already packed away our swords and daggers, which are largely decorative anyway.

The point is, when I went outside to confront this guy I went unarmed. I told him to get off our property, but he didn’t say anything, just stood there and moaned at me.

The rest is kind of a blur.  Suffice to say, I went up to him and he attacked me.  I haven’t been in a fight since grade school, so I was clumsy and uncoordinated, and he got in a couple of good scrapes and even bit me on the arm.  That’s when I kind of went nuts and grabbed one of the bricks from the flowerbed; I picked it up in both hands and brought it down hard on his forehead.  There was this awful crunch and he fell over backwards.  And then I threw up.

Needless to say, I’m going to stay and work from home today because of this.  I am going to keep trying to get in touch with the police, because, well, this is a homicide even if it’s in self defence.  I’ve never killed anyone before, and it sucks.  Jennifer went to work as normal.

Police and sheriff’s offices still aren’t responding to calls, and the local news stations aren’t showing anything useful, though CNN has apparently become the George Romero channel.  I’ll let y’all know if I get in touch with any of the authorities.  There was apparently some sort of ruckus in Woodland last night, so maybe that’s where all the cops are.  Hard to think of Woodland as a hotbed of rioting, though.

Good luck, y’all.  I have the feeling this is going to be a long day.

But just to make one thing perfectly clear: there are no zombies.

Current Mood: Confused

• Jonathan Coulton is one of my favorite singer/songwriters.  Today I’ve got his song "Re: Your Brains" stuck on demon-loop in my head.  I’m feeling kind of queasy, probably because of the fight in the back yard this morning, hence the headache and the demon loop music.  I called my health insurance provider’s advice line and they said to wash the spot where I was bitten with hot water and Neosporin and get to a hospital as soon as they start taking people at the ER again.  WTF?  Anyway, here’s the video for the song, which is brilliant:
• Corn and other produce with the new strain of corn smut has apparently made its way to North Carolina.
• It didn’t take long for the LOLZombies to show up.

I heard that Washington D.C. has been silent all day.  Right after the Democrats took back control of Congress, too.  That sucks.  But all I can think of is that quote from Lisa Simpson:  "The dead are rising!  And they’re voting Republican!"

I can’t help but worry about my friends in the theater.  Is this the end of zombie Shakespeare?

Current Mood: Scared

God, my arm where that guy bit me this morning is really burning.  I keep running cold water on it and lathering it with NeoSporin and a cortisone cream, but nothing helps.  It’s driving me crazy.  I’ve got an ice pack on it now which makes it hard to type but at least makes the burning sensation bearable.  My head is pounding, too.  I just took 800 mg of both Ibuprofin and Tylenol.  I can’t get through to the advice line at my health insurance company; the line’s continually busy.

There are more of those drunks wandering around on the streets.  Okay, let’s call them zombies, since everyone else is.  One of our neighbors broke out a shotgun and has been gunning them down.  I’ve tried calling the cops and the sheriff, even the highway patrol, but none of the emergency responders are responding.  I’m not going out there.  I just hope that when all this is over things can get back to normal.

The one guy is still outside in our back yard.  Neighborhood cats have been snacking on him.  That’s just sick.  None of the zombies seem interested in the cats on the streets, though, which I suppose is a good thing.  For the cats.

I really want to go lie down for a bit, but this project is kicking my ass.  I really want to get it done.

So, to distract myself, I’m playing some music real loud.  Tom Waits, which seems appropriate under the circumstances.

D1sc0r0b0t wonders what people would listen to if the apocalypse were nigh.  So I’m also posing the question.  What would you listen to?  Or, if you are convinced that this is really Z-day, what’s playing on your stereo or iPod right now?

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Current Mood: Scared & Sick

sorry everyne.  I fell asleep on my keyboar.d  I didnt mena t freak anyone out.

Okay, yeah, its zombiesl.  Fine, i believ it now.  i gess I was just scared.  But now i’m watching Slither, which is oen of my favoitre movies.  Makes me lauh everyt time I see it.

Som e other sutff thats’ come up. Zombies all ov er Dixon now.  The cats a re avoiding me; even Checkers, who never leaves the office, is hiding from me downstars.  Im not leting it get to me, thogh because i’m used to beign shunned by cats.

Apaarently, the Canadain govnemrnt is to blame.  Who’dv’e htought?

heads pojudngin now.   I took like a whole bottle of advl, and i think my liver’s gonig to pay for that. The bite on my arm is startng to necroztize, and I dont have any extra antibiotics in the house.  I’m pretty sure I won’t be turninng nto a zombie, though.  But if it starts to hapen I’l leave the house so that Jennfifer can come get the cats.s

Need to hit my nebulizer.  This shits’ going to my lungs.

Current Mood: Scared

Man I could realy go for som sushi now.

im tying to get information about whats going on in our area. Dixons gne, I think. Maybe. I was going to driv em my car and get suplies, btu my car’s outside and i"D hav eo =to go past a bunch of zombie s to get to it. So I’m staying here.. but the local newspapr websites are all donw. So’s the Sacramento Bee websti s all i have are ruurmrs and stufff frm local blogs

Heere we go.

I’ve heard nothing form Woodland, but it seemms by friend there got to Davis and he/s stuck theer n his chem lab. I don’t know if hes’ okay.

There have been protest s at UC Davis for a mnht or so from employees of a company clled Sodexho that want to work for the University itself instead of being contractorers. Protestors were taken ovr by zobmbies and are tryng to breake into Mrak hall. Plus the camus is overrun by "an army of zombie ducks". Sucks to be a clericla emplye on campus today.

Not much from Sacrrmantoe, but theeres’ a big plume of msmoke ovr to the east of our house, nd I thinkm Sacrmanto’s gone. I heard a rumor that the government might try a nuclear strike on some places. Maybe sacramento was one, bu t wouldn’t I have felt it? I also heard that Gov Schwarzenegger was going to go fihthg the zombies hand to hand. Anyone know what happened theer?

My arms’ gne numb now, whic h is better than the burning and itchig and pain, but not much. I think I’m gong to throw up. But man, I could go for some suhsi.

Oh, and this isnt a lcocal update, but my friend Betsy erports that there are zombie gotas in her neighborhood as wel. At least tha’s kind of funny.

ETA: My frned in Davis has an excitig tale of survival in Davis. Sounds lik there are a couple of errefguee camps ther but maybe you shoulld avoid it antwzay.

Current Mood: Scared & Sick

an intresting report from Kennedy Space centr.  No news on nukes.

Current Mood: Undead

Coffee.  Lots and lots and lots of coffee.  The caffeine and the albuterol (lots and lots of that, too) seem to be shoving the neurons back to life for a bit.  But anyway it’s time to stop kidding myslf.

Jennifer’s on her way home now. I hope to god she makees it.  Bt I wont be here because I’m leaving the house so she cna be safe when she gets herr. In case she doesnt Ive done the follwing:

1. Cleaned out the cats littr boxxswe.

2. Put waterr into several large bowls so they have drinking watr. I also left the taps on but who knows how long they’l last..

3. poured the bag of dry cat food on the flor in the librry so the cats have access to the food

4. put out lots of goohsy food.

If Jenffrer doesnt come home, somone pleas come and see to the catss.  Theyyy shoul,d  be fine and mbyye Jan’s right and they are are salvation

Okay I’m going outside now and ging to get as fr as I can frm the house befor the worttst happens.

I love you Jennifer

bye

Current Mood: Playful

People are still blogging like it’s the end of the world, and that’s perfectly appropriate, though I personally got zombified a couple of hours ago and my narrative self is presumably wandering the fields of Dixon, looking for fresh flesh to munch on.  This kind of participatory narrative is fun to be a part of, and I’m glad I got in early.  I wonder if there’s any way of knowing how many people actually took part in the whole affair?  I pity Steve, over at My Elves are Different, who came up with the whole idea, but who also tasked himself with tracking everything and posting updates.

This post from Art Black was probably my favorite in its elegant simplicity.

I’m glad that a couple of people took up the idea that the zombie outbreak was due to infected produce originating from my home town.  That was cool; if only we could blame all the world’s problems on mutant corn smut.  A quick observation, though: in the storyline I’d started, there was actually no corn smut, it was just me in denial and pretending that the spatters of blood and bits of flesh I was seeing on the cornfields after the zombie migrant workers had gone on a rampage were a new type of fungus (I was originally going to go with ergot, then discovered that ergot doesn’t infect corn and doesn’t look as ugly anyway, though it has some really interesting hallucinagenic properties).  I mean, seriously: zombiegeddon or mutant corn smut? Which would you want to believe?  I was going to reveal this self deception later on, but people had already run with it so I didn’t.  That was fun.

I also noticed that several people blamed the zombie apocalypse on "unknown necrotizing fasciitis".  Heck, that one made it onto the Something Awful forums, and from there to Digg (though it never made it on to the Digg front page).  I’m going to go out on a limb and say I can legitimately take responsibility for that with this, my first post on the theme.  I did a little digging and found a post that mentions "unknown necrotizing fasciitis" and linked to my post (though I’ve lost it now).  Therefore I take full responsibility for linking the zombie outbreak with "unknown necrotizing fasciitis", or UNF, or "Crawford’s Disease".  Because I’m an egocentric schmuck that way, and will ignore any evidence that might contradict my thesis.  I just hope that Steve remembers this when he gathers up the best outbreak reporting in a couple of days.  Hint.  (Note: I kid. Seriously, I do.)

I also note that my site had over 500 unique visitors today, and almost 1,100 pageviews.  I think that’s more traffic than I’ve gotten over the past two months!

I asked over at My Elves are Different whether I can participate next year, and was told that apparently I’ve gone into complete remission, which I guess means yes.  Huzzah!

I had lots of thoughts about how the whole thing reflects certain cultural trends not just in the US but throughout the world, and how this participatory narrative (I love that phrase and will use it repeatedly from now on) captures and defines certainly elements of the "zombie (or ghoul) canon", but I’ll spare you those thoughts for now.

For those still taking part, keep going! I’m watching and learning and getting ready for the next zombiegeddon…

ETA: I’ve compiled all my entries from today into one spot.  Arranged in chronological order, even!  It’s all right here!

…This Friday, June 13th, it’s time to BLOG LIKE IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD (again). There was a great deal of discussion as to whether this year’s apocalypse would be a zombie attack again, or whether some other catastrophe would befall mankind. Robot uprising, perhaps. Or maybe triffids. Or maybe something very else altogether. But all indications are that the zombies will be attacking again this year. If you were around last year you might recall that I died. Hopefully this year I’ll have a happier ending.

Anyway. It’s gonna happen again.

On the whole, MoodleMoot 2008 was pretty good and I’m glad I went. There were good panels, many of which, like any self respecting panel in any event where you have a bunch of nerds gathered, went over their time limit.

I focused on the panels that seemed most appropriate to my situation. There were a couple of panels on Moodle customization and on Moodle as a social networking tool, and those seemed most important to me. I also picked up some good strategies for completing our own upgrade.

Of course there were also panels I didn’t expect to see at a large conference devoted to educational technology. "Distance Learning for the Metabolically Challenged?" "ZombieFriends.com as a Model for Post Mortem Social Networking — What Can Moodle Learn?" They seemed like interesting panels but I assume they were just jokes and I didn’t bother attending. I would have if I’d had the time.

I did find myself at the same lunch table with a few of the lead developers of Moodle, including Mr. Moodle himself, Martin Dougiamas. Unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to ask them about any of my particular issues, which is a shame because I’ve been stuck on an upgrade issue for nearly a year now. Of course, it did feel good that every person I talked to about my own situation had pretty much the same reaction: a quick, sharp intake of breath followed by, "Oooh, ouch."

So I think I have some good ideas for when I start tackling that project again.

Past midnight here in California and I have work tomorrow. The week’s been pretty long already what with the conference and my lungs acting up today and all the whatnot.

Yes, the lungs. We’re experiencing a drought in California. It must be true, because Governor Schwarzenegger said so, and the Terminator doesn’t lie. Plus it’s been awful windy lately, so there’s fires everywhere. Some of them too close for my own comfort. I’m pretty sure we’re safe here in our little bit of Sacramento but because I am who I am I just can’t help worrying.

We’re also in spitting distance of the capitol. I’m sure Arnie hangs out there a lot but I’ve never seen him in person. There’s always some sort of weird protest going on around the capitol as well, of course, and I’m told there’s going to be another one tomorrow. Well, I suppose, technically today. It’s going to make going to work sort of painful, I’m sure. Between worrying about the fires and the situation downtown tomorrow and the weird news coming out of Australia and New Zealand, I’m just having a hard time even thinking about sleeping tonight.

So… I guess I’m going to try again now.